Saturday, July 31, 2010


Some would find fault with the morning red, if they ever got up early enough. 

Henry David Thoreau

I Lost My New Phone

FML. Yesterday I put my phone down at either the corner deli, Subway Sub Shop, or the restroom at work - and now it's gone.  I went back to the deli and to Subway (and asked my co-workers) - but of course nobody knows anything about it.  So, right now, someone is using my brand new Motorola Cliq (which I spent over $300 on) - although they aren't able to use my account (T-Mobile has been alerted).

For now I'm back to using my old phone - the one that requires duct tape in order to charge it.  Oh, and I can't text on it either. Or access the Internet.  And sometimes the buttons don't respond, so I can't always use all the numbers or answer when a call comes in.

I thought things could only get better?  Lies...

You Must Be THIS Tall To Ride and/or Sleep

The Roller-Coaster Bed.  I wonder if it comes with a Landing Pad?

Friday, July 30, 2010


What is the most beautiful in virile men is something feminine; what is most beautiful in feminine women is something masculine. 
... Susan Sontag

Afternoon Dance Break - Things Can Only Get Better

In addition to their annual Black Party, the people behind the Saint-at-Large previously held a White Party each year (they were discontinued a few years ago for some reason) .  I can vividly remember dancing to this song at one of the White Parties I attended at Roseland Ballroom, along with 2,000 of my closest friends (picture below is NOT from a Saint-at-Large event)...

And since I've been in such a foul mood lately, I certainly hope D:Ream is right and that Things Can Only Get Better...

What Do You Call A Gay Dinosaur?

: What do you call a gay dinosaur?
A: Megasorass.

Q: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A: Lickalotopus.

When Life Gives You Lemons...

These gentlemen decided to make a comfy bench out of NYPD police barricades.  Ingenious.


Thursday, July 29, 2010

Just Resting by David Taylor

Poised but in no way tense
Alert without hint of anxiety

Open but not unguarded
Without thought not thoughtless

Present not predisposed
Unknowing all that’s known

Centred in infinite circumference
A place where diversity unites

All knowledge as one seed
Love joining all humanity

A natural state of unity
Free from false divisions
That we think we need.

Poem Source

Tonight: Project Runway Season 8 Begins

Don't forget to tune into Lifetime tonight at 9pm EST for the 8th season of Project Runway - and then look for my recap sometime tomorrow.  Maybe.  Recapping isn't as fun and/or rewarding as it used to be, and Lifetime just doesn't get the audience that Bravo did.  Sigh...

UPDATE:  I watched last night, but I didn't take notes - so unfortunately no recap this week.

Top Chef Ep. 7 - Rep. Aaron Schock Is NOT GAY

Last week on Top Chef we had the cheesy “Cold Wars” challenge – My Kevin won and Tamesha was sent home. And my arch nemesis (in my head) Chef Michelle Bernstein was the guest judge. One of these days, Bernstein … one of these days… 

Today is a new day in Washington, D.C. – and the opening montage features footage from a cemetery as well as from the Vietnam Veterans Memorial. Foreshadowing?? 

Big Daddy Kenny – who can work a pimp robe better than Hugh Hefner and/or Kosmo Kramer – is still upset at being on the bottom last week. But he quickly decides he’s just “too much of a beast in the kitchen” to go home. Then he picked up his pimp cane and pimp cup and strolled on out the door... 

Quickfire Challenge: 

The Cheftestants enter the Top Chef Kitchen and are greeted by Padma and Aaron Schock – a freshman Republican Congressman who is totally not gay. Seriously. He’s not. Don’t even think about it. Even though he is prettier and has a better stylist than Padma… 

Aaron (which is SOOOOOOO not a gay name) is there to talk about Congressional ethics. BTW - A Republican discussing ethics is like ME giving a lecture on healthy eating, portion control, and the importance of exercise. 

Oh, and did I mention that Aaron Schock is NOT gay?!? Even though he dresses like THIS at lawn parties in the Hamptons… 

I don’t know about you, but I’m getting a very John Wayne-esque masculine vibe from that picture. 

Anywhore, it is revealed by NotGay Aaron and Padma (I hope she had her citizenship papers with her) that in order to prevent undue influence, politicians are only allowed to accept hors d’oeuvres which can fit onto a toothpick. $50,000 checks from the NRA are fine, but heaven forbid someone tries to feed a Congressman a whole crabcake. 

The chefs have 30 minutes to create an entrĂ©e on a toothpick. The winner will receive immunity AND $20,000 - $10,000 of which must be kicked back to his or her local Congressman. Just make sure to stick a toothpick in the money first. 

The Cheftestants scramble, and I am shocked (Schocked??) that half of these idiots are cooking scallops. When will they ever learn?? 

Amanda runs around like a crackhead, Angelo can’t stop looking at his reflection in the stainless steel appliances, and Ed (who reminds me of that “slow” cousin everyone has in their family) can’t seem to figure out how to get his dish onto a toothpick. Wow – maybe Ed should run for Congress. 

Utensils Down, Hands Up! 

Padma and Congressman Schock – who is not gay, how many times do I have to tell you that – taste the dishes-on-a-stick. 

Time for the results. Aaron … who looks like THIS without his shirt on but is not gay … 

… doesn’t care for Alex’s SCALLOPS, Ed’s dish with stick problems, and Kelly’s NANTUCKET BAY SCALLOPS. Dear Kelly – if a Republican is judging you, maybe you should stay away from dishes which reference the bluest of blue states – Massachusetts. Make a note of it. Oh, and SCALLOPS???? Really???!!!??? 

Representative Schock really likee My Kevin’s dish (back it up, beeyotch – I WILL CUT YOU), Angelo’s cucumber cup, and Stephen’s dish (The Congressman states – “Wow, there’s A LOT on that stick!”). Notice that all three of Schock’s “Tops” were men … coincidence??? 

Angelo is declared the winner, to which Big Daddy Kenny gives the “Smack That Biatch Up" side-eye. 

Elimination Challenge: 

For the Elimination Challenge this week, the Cheftestants will be preparing a “Power Lunch” at the Palm D.C. restaurant.  They each draw knives to determine which of the Palm proteins they will be serving. 

After the Whole Foods Grab-and-Growl, the chefs head back to the Top Chef Kitchen for 2 hours of prep. 

Angelo states that he’s not too familiar with the Power Lunch, probably because in Connecticut (where he’s from) they only have “Ladies Who Lunch”… 

Stephen, on the other hand, says he is extremely familiar with the Power Lunch, because he used to work the lunch shift at a downtown restaurant in San Francisco. However, I think he meant Power BOTTOM Lunch. 

The day comes to an end, and the Cheftestants return to the house so Kenny can get back into his pimp robe and Ed and Tiffany can work on their “friendship”. The main topic of discussion is the fact that Alex hasn’t figured out yet exactly what he’s doing with his salmon, and we also get the first uttering of the words “Pea Puree” – which will be repeated at least 30,000 times in the next half hour – despite the fact that “Pea Puree” sounds like a cure for a urinary tract problem.

The next day the chefs head over to the Palm and are greeted by some dude in a suite. He tells them Tom Colicchio will be there to make sure they don’t steal anything, the winner will get his or her dish on the Palm menu and also their caricature on the wall of the restaurant. 

Alex decides to use a PEA PUREE, and now an upset Ed all of a sudden can’t find his PEA PUREE. Tiffany tries to diffuse the PEA PUREE situation by offering Ed some of her broccolini (metaphor??). Kelly is hogging all the salt and won’t share with Amanda. 

The judges arrive, and I am thrilled to see four of my favorite things in this world… 

Gail Simmons 
Her Boobies (Lefty and Righty) … and … 
Chef Art Smith!!!! 

But then my stomach drops when I see gasbag former Republican Congressman (and current token conservative on MSNBC) Joe Scarborough. Not even Art Smith and the Boobies can make up for that asshat. 

The Cheftestants serve their dishes. Joe Scarborough likes thick meat (coincidentally, so does totally not gay Aaron Schock!) but not “foam”. Andrea serves her swordfish with some kind of butter, heavy cream, vanilla ice cream, sour cream and evaporated milk sauce (it’s described as a bit “heavy” – YATHINK???). Tiffany’s swordfish is a crowd pleaser. Art Smith flirts with cutiepie Luke Russert (git it, Girl!). Alex serves “forbidden rice” and … all together nowPEA PUREE with his salmon. Gail Simmons likes Kenny’s “fig jam” (metaphor??). 

After service, the politicians and journalists depart and Padma, Gail, The Boobies, Tom, and Art Smith discuss the Power Lunch. Art, as always, talks about food as “love”, but maybe he was just referring to Luke Russert. Then everyone heads to the Judges’ table. 

Back in the “No Longer Glad Generic Room of Pea Puree Discussion”, Padma calls Alex, Tiffany and Ed in to face the judges. They are the top three. Tiffany cries because she thought she was on the bottom. Ed is surprised to be there because he started out with unshelled lobsters which were as big as Angelo's ego. Alex was surprised to be there as well, but Art in particular loved that damn PEA PUREE and Alex is declared the winner. Tiffany and Ed give Alex the whatchutalkinboutartsmith side-eye. 

Alex will get his dish added to the Palm menu, and will get his caricature put on the wall. And since a caricature is done to make you look cartoony and weird, they can simply use this photograph - no artist necessary… 

On the bottom are My Kevin (too spicy, like Kevin himself), Andrea (swordfish had a heavy BP Gulf Oil Sauce) and Kelly (who salted her meat like an Eskimo preparing to store it for the winter). 

After the judges discuss, Andrea is sent home. She blames “mental” issues – not food issues - for her departure.

That’s ok Andrea – go back to Miami and egg Michelle Bernstein’s restaurant for me, will ya?!?  That should clear your head.

Gays Will Protect Fabric At All Costs


Ted Haggard's Secret Cure ...

Apparently that whole "crystalmethandrentboys" thing was just a phase.  Besides, Ted Haggard has a secret cure that ungayed him...

Wednesday, July 28, 2010


Correspondences are like small clothes before the invention of suspenders; it is impossible to keep them up. 
... Sydney Smith

Happy Hump Day!

[[Using my best artsy-fartsy voice]] ...
"The yellow/gold really POPS in this photograph, don't you agree?"

Afternoon Disco Break - Young Hearts Run Free

Young Hearts Run Free was the biggest hit for the incredible vocalist (and one of my favorite recording artists) Candi Staton.  Sing it Girl! ...

President Obama To Fundraise at Chez Wintour Tonight

President Obama will be in NJ and NYC today/tonight - so we're girding our loins (Devil Wears Prada reference!) for traffic gridlock.  One of the events the President will attend is a $30,000 per head fundraiser at the West Village townhouse of Anna Wintour (above).  According to Gothamist, Calvin Klein is also slated to attend, so Anna's obviously offering an open bar and hot waiters.

I was thinking about attending myself, but unfortunately I'm about $29,990 short of the funds required for admittance.

Ben Stein: Unemployed Have "Poor Personalities"

Ben Stein is an idiotic right-wing douchenozzle.  Here is what he had to say about people who are currently unemployed (via Joe.My.God):

"The people who have been laid off and cannot find work are generally people with poor work habits and poor personalities. I say “generally” because there are exceptions. But in general, as I survey the ranks of those who are unemployed, I see people who have overbearing and unpleasant personalities and/or who do not know how to do a day’s work. They are people who create either little utility or negative utility on the job". 

Hey Benny - can we see the actual results of the personal "survey" you personally did?!?  Did you personally travel across the country personally speaking to the unemployed??  Or are you just making assumptions based on your racist, classist conservative Republican IDIOTology ideology????

If people with "overbearing and unpleasant personalities" were the only ones unemployed, then your ass would have NEVER gotten a job.

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