The Hot Guy by Kelsey Walsh

he's wearing white like an angel, 

his lips as sweet as suger,

his eyes as bright as a blue summer sky, 

his face blushing like the setting sun.

his hair as brown as chocolate, 

his skin as soft as velvet,

his touch as smooth as silk, 

his love as firm as a brick wall.

His heart as soft as the clouds, 

his personality as sweet at honey,

his taste like a well picked bunch of grapes, 

he is so hot and perfect

Poem Source

Afternoon Disco Break Put Your Body In It

Put Your Body In It, by the great Stephanie Mills, was the B-Side of What Cha Gonna Do With My Lovin'? and was a big hit at the old Paradise Garage.  For those of you too young to know what a "B-Side" is, it refers to an ancient device know as a "record", which was played on something called a "record player" (see below for demonstration) back in the age of the dinosaurs...

Evan Lysacek Wants A "Girlfriend"

Figure skater and paragon of masculinity, Evan Lysacek, recently told Radar that he's looking for a "girlfriend". But I think Evan meant {{{snapping fingers sassily}}} "GUUUURRRLLLFRIEND!". Via Dlisted:

"I'm lonely. I need a girlfriend. I’m looking for funny, someone who can deal with a busy schedule—which has been a problem in the past. And I don't know, just a cool girl. I need someone to hang out with me.”

Honey, I hear ya.  You need someone who will talk about boys, sequined costumes and Jazz Hands with you.  We all need that, Princess...

Can I Get You A Slice Of BP Cake???

... tastes like crude oil, swamp water, chemical dispersants, Cajun spices, dead shrimp and tears.  Someone send one to that smug B.P. CEO Tony "The environmental impact will be modest" Hayward (below).

Featured Model - Serafin Figaroa

At the direct request of Serafin "Trey" Figaroa, all images have been removed.