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Friday, July 10, 2009

I Am DOOMED - UPDATED


If you read my Top Chef Masters RECAP, you might remember that I treated "Magician and Mentalist" Max Maven (below) with my typical snark. Specifically, I MAY have mentioned something about him "slithering" and that his parents might have been "Mr. Spock and Ming the Merciless"...



Well Dust Bunnies, it's been nice knowing you - but Mr. Maven sent me an email ... and I don't know what to make of it:

Dear David Dust:

Thanks for realizing that I'm creepy. It's nice to know that I've achieved my goal, albeit somewhat perplexing as to why you seem to think that's a bad thing.

Cordially,

Max Maven

Is he pissed?!? Is he going to stuff me in a box and then skewer me with swords?!? Is he going to make me disappear?!? I'm frightened, people!!

Here was my afraid-for-my-life-so-I-better-be-nice response:

Dear Mr. Maven -

Please do not take what I've written literally. One of the more popular things I do on my blog is write humorous (??) recaps of reality shows such as Project Runway and Top Chef. It has been my experience that the more "colorful" you are, the easier it is to give you the snark treatment.

And you Sir, are extremely colorful. I actually enjoyed watching you on the show - it has been my favorite Top Chef Masters episode so far.

Regards,

David

P.S. - Please do not turn me into a toad. kthxbai



It's been nice knowing you ... but I don't think Toads can blog...


UPDATE: As you can probably tell from the tone of his email, Max Maven wasn't upset by my comments. I know this, because he sent me a follow-up email ... which I have forwarded to my clergyman and attorney. You know, just in case I'm found sawed in half ... ;)

Please visit Max Maven's website HERE.


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18 comments:

  1. PsychomomJuly 10, 2009 at 3:44 PM

    Please let me be the first to 'KISS' the toad you will soon become.

    Don't fuck with magic!

    XXXXXXX

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownJuly 10, 2009 at 3:49 PM

    ROFLMAO. David is askerred!

    I think some of the chefs were much scary than Max...

    ReplyDelete
  3. theminxJuly 10, 2009 at 3:49 PM

    LOL!!! he might want to saw you in half or something....

    xoxoxoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
  4. DanJuly 10, 2009 at 4:10 PM

    Girl- you done it now!

    ReplyDelete
  5. mikeinbamaJuly 10, 2009 at 4:32 PM

    That's awesome. He must have googled himself after the show to see what people were saying about him.......hahahahaha.

    I thought you took it easy on him. But if I was you, I'd watch my back.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ken RichesJuly 10, 2009 at 6:16 PM

    How funny that he found your entry and replied. Might pay to lay low for a while, at least until the next episode :o)

    ReplyDelete
  7. BethJuly 10, 2009 at 6:56 PM

    Ruh-roh! David, we hardly knew ye!

    Seriously, I think it's cool that he wrote you, and he seems equally cool with the attention. I think you're going to be okay, and will remain a human. ;) XOXO Beth

    ReplyDelete
  8. mrs.missalaineusJuly 10, 2009 at 7:46 PM

    i love toads, but i agree w/ psychomom. dude, you so cant fuck with the magic!


    xxalainaxx

    ReplyDelete
  9. the dogs' motherJuly 10, 2009 at 8:15 PM

    LOLOLOLOLOL!
    Honey, you can come live in my pond.

    xo

    ReplyDelete
  10. LelioJuly 10, 2009 at 10:40 PM

    Max Maven is an AMAZING guy and magician, and he seems to have a pretty good sense of humor. xD I'm sure you have nothing to worry about.

    ReplyDelete
  11. RomanceJuly 11, 2009 at 1:33 AM

    You are already a prince(ss)

    ReplyDelete
  12. JoyJuly 11, 2009 at 4:12 AM

    You're doomed! Doomed as doom can be, I must say! (in my best Ed Grimley voice)

    I'm sure FP will let you live in her pond and provide a nice home for you.

    ReplyDelete
  13. JimmyJuly 11, 2009 at 1:49 PM

    Rubbish! He has no power here. He should look out for falling farm houses.

    ReplyDelete
  14. AnonymousJuly 11, 2009 at 6:24 PM

    LOL! He was probably delighted to be mentioned on such a highly traffiked blog. He's pretty deep into character though. I'm a bit creeped out m'self.

    ReplyDelete
  15. AnonymousJuly 11, 2009 at 6:25 PM

    PS: Do not become a frog. I am afraid of frogs. Ask him if he'll turn you into a bunny instead.

    ReplyDelete
  16. AnonymousJuly 12, 2009 at 11:50 AM

    Mama Bunny sez:

    Dear Mr. Maven,
    Please don't hurt my little boy. Even when he was just a tiny little dust mite he didn't know when to shut his damn mouth (or keyboard). He don't mean to be so ignernt.
    Please don't hurt him. He's the only gay son I have!

    ReplyDelete
  17. AnonymousJuly 12, 2009 at 11:56 AM

    Mama Bunny sez:

    Dear Mr. Maven,

    Please don't hurt my little boy -- he didn't mean no harm. Even when he was just a little dust mite he didn't know when to shut up his mouth (or his laptop). I don't know why he is just so ignernt but please don't hurt him -- he's the only gay son I have!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Mark in DEJuly 12, 2009 at 2:23 PM

    LOL - too funny!

    ReplyDelete