Project Runway Ep. 9 Recap - Taking It To The Streets

Last week on Project Runway was the Earth, Wind & Fire challenge.  Jonathan was the “Shining Star” and won, while Ben ended up being sent home for his “Ode to Shark Week”.

This week the designers meet Heidi on the runway to receive their next challenge.  As is typical, she tells them to go meet Tim after giving them a cryptic hint (“New York state of mind”).  Oh … My … God – it’s the dreaded “Dress Your Model as Billy Joel” challenge!!!!

The fashiontestants meet Tim, who is waiting for them with Collier Strong – the L’Oreal Paris Makeup Queen.  Tim explains that the designers will take their inspiration from four New York City neighborhoods – Chinatown, the East Village, the Upper East Side, and Harlem.  And they will be working in teams of two …

{{{Awkward/nervous silence and throwing of side-eyes toward Mila}}}

OK, I understand Mila (below) might not be the warmest and fuzziest person on the planet, but why does everyone act like she is John Wayne Gacy or Typhoid Mary???

Tim tells them that each team will create 2 looks (day and evening) – and then uses the Magic Velvet Bag to pick team leaders, who then pick a partner.  Finally, the teams select a neighborhood.  Here are the results:

Team Chinatown:  Anthony and Maya.

Team Upper East Side:  Amy and Jonathan

Team Harlem:  Emilio and Seth Aaron

Team East Village:  Jay and Mila

Jay is apoplectic about working with Typhoid Mila, and literally says he “can’t breathe”.  Really?!?  Mila is so scary that she causes your respiratory system to shut down???  REALLY???

The teams head to their neighborhoods for 30 minutes of exploration and sketching.  Emilio and Seth Aaron end up on 125^th Street in Harlem to cruise old ladies and make liquor store/fried chicken jokes.  Classy.  While there, they see lots of denim, which will be the main focus of their designs.

Anthony and Maya head to the narrow, crowded streets of Chinatown.  Anthony is obsessed with the roasted ducks in the windows of some of the restaurants, and I’m beginning to think they might end up creating this outfit …

Uptown on the posh Upper East Side, Jonathan and Amy immediately notice how “static” the neighborhood is.  There is little or no movement, unless of course you are a doorman, a nanny, or a Botox doctor making house calls.  Amy is worried that her colorful style might not mesh with this not-so-colorful neighborhood.  Here is a color I think she could use – which totally represents the Upper East Side.  That color is “green”…

Jay and Mila head down to the formerly gritty East Village, which is now home to The Gap, yuppies and gourmet noodle shops.  In fact, here is an outfit which I think best represents the neighborhood these days…

Everyone meets back at Mood for a fabric free-for-all, and then they return to the workroom and get busy.  Tim informs the designers that they have until midnight to complete their looks.

Jay and Mila decide who is doing what, and then begin to work without talking to each other much.  It looks like Jay thinks if he remains very quiet and stands very still, the big bad Milamonster won’t eat him alive.  Or something.

Anthony, who is the leader of his team, is noticing that Maya has some control issues.  And Emilio is noticing how fast Seth Aaron works, but also knows he must keep an eye on him or Seth Aaron will add all kinds of unnecessary bells and whistles to his garment.

Tim and the Collier come in for a visit.  Collier does makeup commercials consultations, and Tim visits the teams to check on their progress.

The models come in for their fittings, and Jay whispers to his model how he is scared of the Milamonster, but if he stays really still and really quiet she might not eat him.  At this point I wish she would.

Emilio, who got to pick his partner before Jay (which forced Jay to work with Mila), is laughing like Dr. Evil during a Three Stooges marathon.  He is enjoying watching Jay and Mila not talk to each other – and I’m beginning to realize that Emilio is a big bag-o-douche.

Commercial Break:  It’s pretty sad that the highlight of this week’s Project Runway was the commercial for the Lifetime movie “At Risk”, starring the ridiculously sexy Daniel Sunjata…

Oh Yeeeeeeaaaaahhhhh.

Anywhore, It’s now the morning of runway day, and everyone heads back to the workroom.  Models get the L’Oreal/Garnier/Bluefly treatment, and the designers talk stank about each other’s looks.  “Summer’s Emilio” (he’s a douche, GET IT?!?) giggles about the mess Jonathan and Amy are creating, and Mila says that Jay’s tank top is “ill-fitting” (which it totally is).  Mila and Jay mentally prepare to throw each other under the bus on the runway.

The designers and models head to the runway, and Heidi introduces the judges.  But wait – WHERE IS MICHAEL KOR(ANGE)S???  The shady/lazy Producers promised us Michael and Nina every week this season?!?!  LIES!!!

Anywhore, the judges are designer Francisco Costco Costa, Nina, and model Molly Sims.  Let’s start the show.

The models do their thing, and the judges do theirs.  As far as I was concerned there wasn’t anything that completely blew me away, but there was definitely some fugly up in there.

Heidi announces that Team East Village (Jay and Milamonster) and Team Upper East Side (Amy and Jonathan) were the lowest.  Team Chinatown (Anthony and Maya) and Team Harlem (Emilio and Seth Aaron) were the highest.

The judges speak to Emilio and Seth Aaron first.  Heidi loves both pieces, as does Nina – however Nina mentions that Seth Aaron needs to edit some of the bells and whistles on his denim jacket a little bit.

The judges love the “sophisticated details” of Anthony and Maya’s look, although Anthony admitted to being initially sidetracked by the ducks in the windows of Chinatown’s restaurants.

Now for the designers they didn’t like.  Heidi declares Amy’s Upper East Side day look as “ugly”, while Nina calls it “not polished” and said it made her model look like an umbrella … ella … ella … ay … ay.  Damn you Rihanna - you have forever ruined "umbrella" for me!

Over at Team East Village, Nina loves the nighttime look Mila created, but thinks Jay’s day look – with the ill-fitting pants and the tiscrepancy tank top - is horrible.  But the funniest part was when Heidi asked Jay and Mila how it was working together …

"Um … it was … um … professional???"

{{{crickets}}}

Awkward!!

The judges discuss, then bring the designers back out for the results.  Emilio and Seth Aaron are both declared winners (“THE FIRST TIME IN THE HISTORY OF … zzzzzzz), resulting in bro-hugs between the two guys.

Anthony and Maya are safe.  Mila and Jonathan are safe.  This leaves Jay and Amy facing elimination.  And … Amy is out…

I guess after creating fish pants and a tittiebowl-o-hair, the judges couldn’t justify keeping her around anymore.

Next week, Michael Kors returns just in time to call something a “Disco Straight Jacket!!”.  Till next time…