Project Runway Ep. 8 Recap - Don't Make Me Get All Elemental Up In Here!"

Last week on Project Runway was the “unconventional materials” challenge - the designers bought their "fabric" at the hardware store instead of Mood.  Jay was the winner, and Jesse was sent back to Disney World - where he will be featured as “Chimney Sweep #4” at the Mary Poppins Dinner Theater inside the park.  Showtime’s at 3:00, 5:00, 7:30, and 10:00 pm…

On this week’s episode, it’s morning in Manhattan and Jay compares his roommates to a Wonder Bra – they have lifted (and separated?) each other during the competition.  Or maybe he said his roommates make his boobs look bigger - my notes are unclear.  And Anthony reminds his roommates to follow Tim’s advice and “trust your viscera” – even though Anthony isn’t sure he has a viscera or where it may be located.  I thought only girls had visceras?!?.  Again, my notes are unclear.

The designers head over to the runway where they meet Heidi.  Mrs. Seal reminds them that Jay has immunity this week, but this is the last immunity for the season.  She instructs the fashiontestants to meet Tim on the roof of the Atlas apartments – because Atlas will raise the rent if they don’t get mentioned more often.

The designers ascend to the roof, where they find Tim Gunn and the HeadBiatchInCharge of Shiny Follicles - Phillip de Garnier (not his real name, but it sounds fierce).

Tim explains that the designers will be using the four elements – Earth, Air, Fire and Water as their inspiration this week.  Personally, I think using “Earth, Wind & Fire” would be a much more interesting inspiration…

The designers pick their elements, and here are the results - along with what I would create if given that particular element…

Air – Jay, Jonathan and Seth Aaron (who isn’t happy about getting “air” – he would have preferred “smog” or “sludge”).  Here is what I would do if given “air” as my inspiration …

Water – Maya and Ben.  My suggestion…

Earth – Mila and Emilio.  Here is a great idea …

Fire – Anthony (He's flaming! It’s a gay joke! Get it?!?) and Amy.  At least one of them should do this…

But, as you will see, none of the designers take my advice. Ungrateful bastards.

They head back to the workroom for sketching.  Ben, who has “water” as his inspiration, starts thinking about sharks and decides to do a suit.  Uh oh.  Here is what I’m picturing…

Unless his model is supposed to meet her Bootlegger at the Speakeasy, I don’t think this is such a great idea.

Anthony states that when he thinks of “fire”, he doesn’t necessarily think “red”.  He thinks about his church pastor who may or may not have intentionally burned down his house (WTF???).  This makes him think “dark and smokey”.  Okaaaaaayyyyy?? ….

Jonathan – who has gas “air” – decides to create his own textile again.  His interpretation of air is “laughter”, and he wants his garment to make his model look like she is “enveloped in a swirl of uncontrollable laughter”.  Just as long as he doesn’t prompt the judges into uncontrollable laughter.

The designers go to Mood and spend their $150 (Thank you Mood!), and they head back to the workroom.  Tim announces that they will have until midnight to finish their looks.

The workroom is exceedingly quiet with the designers plugging away at their “elemental” designs.  Seth Aaron, who originally was upset for getting “air”, is now happy because he figured out a way to use his signature black.  His air will be the “midnight air of New York” – complete with hundreds of people standing in front of bars and nightclubs smoking, and the exhaust fumes of a thousand taxis.

Tim visits with Phillip de Garnier – who does a Garnier commercial consultation with each designer.  At the same time, Tim checks on everyone’s progress.

Tim loves what Jonathan is doing with his “laughter” inspiration, and he also likes Seth Aaron’s “night wind”.  Amy, on the other hand, is saying words like “bowl” and “hair” and “contained chaos” for her fire garment, which is sounding worrisome. 

Models come in for fittings, which provide an opportunity for the designers to check out each other’s garments.  Mila mentions that Ben’s trousers look horrible (“That crotch is INSANE”), and Jonathan mentions that many of the designers have “taken creative liberties” with their inspiration/theme.  This is coming from a guy who is enveloping his model in laughter and calling it air.  Glass houses, dontcha know.

The clock strikes midnight, and the designers head back to the Atlas apartments.  Once there, Ben calls his husband and cries – which can only mean that Ben will be going home.  The Bunim/Murray production team is NOT subtle (some would say “lazy”) … a phone call home = elimination.  Buh-bye Ben.

The next day we have the usual scramble around the workroom trying to finish.  Ben is especially behind (orly?), so Jay (who is finished and has immunity) decides to help him.  This is nice and all, but whatever happened to bitchy backbiting?  Remember when Ricky asked Christian for a zipper pull during Season 5, and it was like he was asking for blood??  “Nice”, “helpful” and “polite” isn’t interesting television.  Bunim/Murray – please make a note of it.

So the outfits are coming together, and we see Amy’s “fire” look.  OMG! WTF? ROFLMAO! FDIC! PG-13!  KFC! Anthony wonders aloud why Amy’s model has “hairy titties”, adding “She needs a Nair affair up in there”.  And he’s not kidding…

Somehow I think Phillip de Garnier is to blame for this.

It’s time for the runway show, and Heidi introduces the judges – Michael Kor(ange)s, Meana Garzilla, and some French dude.  Let’s start the show…

The models walk and the judges gawk.  And the look on Nina Garcia’s face when she saw Amy’s model with the hairy cleavage was PRICELESS. 

Heidi tells Anthony, Emilio and Jay they are safe.  This leaves Mila, Seth Aaron, Maya, Ben, Amy and Jonathan as the lowest and highest.

Mila.  Boring.  Nina thought it looked like another designer.  Michael wondered if Maya is a one-trick (black & white color-blocking) pony.

Seth Aaron.  The judges LOVED the black leather jacket and the head-to-toe “New York night air” look.  Cough, cough, hack.

Maya.  The judges loved her water themed dress, but Nina mentions how Maya always seems to create designs that are reminiscent of established designers.

Amy.  Amy … Amy … Amy.  Where to begin?  Heidi calls her look a “Cat in a baby sling”.  Michael calls it a “Barmaid serving hair”.  And Nina thought it was “just weird”.  Even after Michael told them to get rid of the hair, Nina still hated the look.  Not since Santino Rice’s Season 2 lingerie disaster (below) has Nina Garcia had such hatred for a garment.  It was just not aesthetically pleasing…

Ben.  The judges HATE his shark-inspired suit.  They call it “ill-fitting” and they dislike that the pants look like there is a jockstrap over them.

Jonathan.  The judges really love this look – especially how he created the textile that would match his model’s skin.  Luckily for Jonathan, the judges DO NOT become enveloped in a fit of laughter when viewing his garment.

The judges discuss – and it’s time for the results.

Seth Aaron is in (I thought he might win, and I think he did too).  Jonathan is the winner this week…

Maya and Mila are safe – leaving Ben’s Jump-The-Shark and Amy’s Boobie Bowl O’ Hair.

Amy is in, and Ben is sent home.  That's what happens when you go swimming with sharks...

Next week – a dreaded Team Challenge!!