Project Runway Ep. 11 Recap - Stacked, Packed and ... OMG - He's BACK!

First of all, I want to say a few words about last night’s episode.  Everything just seemed “off” - a designer leaving, a designer coming back, Heidi in the workroom, a double-winner – this episode was really wonky and out-of-place for me.  And yet, for all the unusual plot twists, there was very little drama.

Of course some of this could just be me – I was having a bit of trouble focusing on the show and my notes last night (I’m still not eating carbs and thoughts of garlic bread and Stove Top Stuffing were distracting me).  Also, I only watched the show once (not my usual 2 times) – so this recap will be a little less detailed than usual.  Here we go…

It’s unusually quiet in the guy’s apartment – due to the departure of our resident motormouth – Anthony.  Over on the gal’s side, Maya and Mila are having coffee and Maya mentions again that she is the youngest designer in the competition.  Like that’s a bad thing!  Honey, I've been hanging out at Bingo and Off-Track Betting parlors just so people will start calling me “kid” and “young fella” again.  Enjoy being the youngest ... trust me.

The designers go to the runway to see Heidi.  She says that this week they will design for an “opinionated” and “headstrong” celebrity – and she wouldn’t want to be in their shoes.  Opinionated?  I swear, if it's that hag Ann Coulter I’ll never watch Project Runway again.

The designers meet Tim in the workroom to find out they will be designing a red carpet look for … HEIDI.  Wah?!?  Another “Make Heidi a Dress” challenge?!?  How many free dresses does Heidi Klum need???

Heidi explains that she attends many events, and needs great dresses for the red carpet.  And apparently she prefers her outfits to be created in one day using Mood fabrics and free labor.

In the middle of their sketching/kvetching time, Tim walks into the workroom door with Maya and says he has an announcement.  Maya has decided to leave the show.

TimGunnandMayaSayWhat?!?!??  Maya explains that she is “not ready to go all the way yet” and is having a hard time “performing on command” – which, coincidentally, was what I told all my girlfriends in high school and college.

Anywhooo … Maya is leaving and the other designers are shocked.  Seth Aaron defends her decision, saying no one really knows how hard they work until they actually do it.  Emilio, ever the supportive friend, calls it a “cop-out” and says “quitters never win”.

Quitters may not win – but a “loser” just might.  After they go to Mood to spend their $300 wads, Tim re-enters the workroom with another announcement.  Since there are supposed to be six designers in the competition at this point … ANTHONY is coming back!!  And with that, Anthony enters with a booming “HERE SHE IS, BOYS!!!”.  I was half-expecting a Hello Dolly-style song and dance routine (complete with feather boas and singing waiters), but unfortunately Dolly Anthony gets right to work after some quick hugs.

Jonathan, as usual, is doing an intricate cutwork design.  Emilio is using rather flimsy fabric, so he must create a “fully-boned understructure” – which made me giggle like a 12-year old.  “Understructure” is such a funny word…

Tim Gunn enters AGAIN, and this time calls Seth Aaron out into the hallway.  Goodness … what now?!?  It turns out that Seth’s model got an Arby’s commercial a Donna Karan gig, and won’t be able to continue.  So Seth now has Cerri – the cool Irish model who Jonathan screwed over last week.

Tim – who has now walked into the workroom more times than I’ve walked into the White Castle on 8^th Avenue – enters AGAIN, this time with Heidi.  They are there to do “Talk-to-me’s” and make thoughtful facial expressions.

I must say, it was weird seeing Heidi in the workroom.  And it was weirder still when she opened her blouse and showed Jay her boobs like it was Mardi Gras.  But if you really think about it, Heidi’s life boils down to two things – Babies and Boobies – so I guess it wasn’t THAT unusual.

One of the things Heidi definitely didn't like was the fabric Jonathan had created – saying it looked like curtains.  This prompts Jonathan to scrap what he’s done and start a new dress.

The designers scramble to finish, but eventually head back to the apartments for the night.  Anthony, who got a late start – is allowed to stay until 2:30 am.  By the time he gets home and gets settled, he only has about one hour to sleep.

The next morning the designers tiredly return to the workroom and scramble to finish.  Tim comes in and pays the bills - plugging the L’Oreal Peoria makeup room, the Jennifer Garner hair salon, and the Redfly.com accessories wall.

Workroom Stank Talk: Mila says Jonathan’s draping isn’t the greatest.  Jonathan thinks Mila’s dress fits “strangely” this week.  Seth Aaron is pleased with his “Vampiry” long black dress, but Emilio thinks it doesn’t look like Heidi at all.  Note to Emilio: please try to avoid saying/pronouncing the word “basically”.  That is all.

Everyone heads to the runway, where they meet this week’s guest judge - Jessica Alba (above).  She greets the designers with a friendly, “Hi, I’m Jessica” and a wave.  Let’s start the show…

The models walk the runway.  Jay’s look is first, and he mentions that he always seems to accentuate the butt area on his garments.  And, in a gift to Recappers everywhere, Jay actually says “I like big butts”.  To which all Recappers, in unison, reply – “And he cannot lie”.

Mila and Anthony are next, followed by Seth Aaron.  Then there’s Jonathan.  This is what I wrote in my notes when Jonathan’s look came down the runway…

“OMG – NO”.

“NO” was underlined four times.

Finally, Emilio’s gown finishes out the show.

The designers line up on the runway, and the judges speak to all of them.

Seth Aaron: Too much Seth Aaron, not enough Heidi.  This isn’t a red carpet look, but it would be perfect for the girl who carries the Emmy to the podium.  Or the gals who hand out towels in the ladies room of the Kodak Theater.

Anthony: Judges love it.  Especially Jessica Alba.

Mila:  Problems with the fit.  Nina mentions that it looks like something one of the Real Housewives of New Jersey would wear.  OMG – I sooooooo want to watch RHONJ with Nina Garcia at her apartment!!  I’ll bring the Stove-Top stuffing.

Emilio:  Judges love it.  Michael Kors calls it “impeccable”.

Jay:  He likes big butts (and he cannot lie).  The judges, however, do not.

Jonathan:  Too short.  Looks like he rushed to finish.  Jonathan admits that this was his 3^rd dress and was completed in about 2 hours.

Results.  Heidi announces that there wasn’t one winner of this challenge – there were TWO.  She tells Emilio that she loves his dress (below) and will wear it to an event.

Then Jessica Alba announces that Anthony is also a winner, and Jessica would like to wear his dress (below) to a red-carpet function.

I bet Jessica was all like “What?!?  They book me on Project Runway as a guest judge and then HEIDI gets a new dress.  Oh no they di-int!!  Ima get me some free clothes too!!!”  If you search MyLifetime.Com hard enough I bet you can find the behind-the-scenes footage of this little meltdown.

Anywhoo … Seth Aaron and Mila are safe.  This leaves Jay (who likes big butts and he cannot lie) and Jonathan.

And, unsurprisingly, Jonathan is sent home.  This doesn’t even surprise Jonathan, who says he just couldn’t compete with Emilio and Anthony when his dress (below) was created at the very last minute…

Next week, we are down to five designers – and the challenge will decide “who will go to Fashion Week” - even though about 27 of them actually showed collections at Bryant Park.