Project Runway 9 Ep. 12 - "Ello Govna!"

Last week on Project Runway – BOIDS!! This week on Project Runway – BORING! 

It’s morning in Manhattan and Josh is still complaining about losing 20 Large to Anya. Considering Joshua works the Coat Check at a local gay bar (seriously), I can see why he’s upset. You gotta fetch a lot of Prada jackets in order to make $20,000. 

The final five designers head to the runway – where Heidi announces this is the final challenge. She also announces that a Big Fairy will take them to Governor’s Island… 

Once the Hairy Fairy drops them onto the Island, Tim tells them the challenge: they are to create a three-look collection inspired by Governor’s Island. They are given a golf card and a camera and have one hour to race each other while taking pictures explore and sketch. 

Kimberly is drawn to a sculpture entitled “New Beginning”. Josh is initially inspired by a long, hard, sleek cannon… 

…. which would have been HIGH-larious, but unfortunately Joshua ends up using a church as his inspiration. Where’s the comedy in THAT, Joshua?!? 

Laura sees some circles and can’t get them out of her head. Sounds like Blondie needs an anti-psychotic pill or some Abilfy or something. 

The Big Hairy Fairy then takes the designers back to Manhattan where they head to Mood, and then back to the workroom. 

Tim arrives with the dreaded Button Bag – and announces that the designers will be getting some help. In walks Becky, Olivier, Bryce, Bert and Anthony-Ryan. Tim draws names to determine who will pick their helper first. Here’s how it works out: 

Kimberly – Becky 

Viktor – Olivier 

Laura – Anthony-Ryan 

Anya – Bert 

Josh – Bryce 

Surprisingly, the “assistants” provided very little drama (much to Lifetime’s chagrin, I’m sure). Bryce spent his entire time trying to convince Josh not to do a Mummer’s Parade outfit… 

…and Olivier spent most of his time mumbling about how helping Viktor was just like slavery. Yes, sewing some fabric for a few hours while having your meals catered is EXACTLY like slavery. Ugh. Excuse my Pig Latin, but what a “ittle-lay ick-pray”. 

Day One ends and Day Two begins with a Tim Gunn visit and a model fitting. Josh is still moaning about losing to the “beauty queen” (LET IT GO, girl) and Laura begins to cry every time she starts telling her “I was raised a poor black child”  “I’ve been doing this since I was 8 years old and want it so baaaaaaad” shtick. 

It’s now runway day and Kimberly keeps changing stuff, Josh asks Bryce to handle his “studding process” (I don’t even WANT to know), and one of Anya’s models has her dress on backwards. 

Onto the runway… Heidi introduces the judges: Michael Kors, Nina Friggin Garcia and yet another B-list actress, Zoe Saldana (who was a pretty fabulous judge, btw). 

Sashay, Shantay. My initial impressions were that Josh, Laura and Kimberly were in trouble and Viktor and Anya were not. I was almost right. 

Everyone is asked the traditional “Why should you go to Fashion Week and who would you take with you”. 

Joshua said he would take Viktor and Anya – even though Anya doesn’t know how to sew and is getting by solely on her looks (I’m ad-libbing a little bit here) 

In turn, Anya said she would take Josh to fashion week – presumably to fetch her Prada coat. 

The Judges discuss and bring everybody back out. Anya will be creating a collection, as will Viktor. 

The producers Judges also pick Josh to advance to the finale. 

It comes down to Kimberly and weepy Laura – and Laura is sent home for her circular mess of a collection.