The one person who benefitted from Michael Jackson's death yesterday was South Carolina Governor Mark Sandford (R-Argentina). Almost immediately the press stopped talking about the horny Governor's affair and focused on The King of Pop's death.
Although Sanford has said he will not resign, let's take a look at the man who would replace him - Lt. Governor André Bauer (above). Dust Bunny Grady sent me an email yesterday saying that his Gaydar went off-the-charts when he looked into the handsome, unmarried 40 year old - and I agree. So let's do a little bit of baseless stereotyping, shall we?!? After all, we're all just a bunch of Godless Homersexticals (or Whores) around here, so what do we have to lose?...
First of all - the Lieutenant Governor's name is André, for Liza's sake! There hasn't been a straight André since André The Giant (who DID prance around in tights ... hmmmm?).
Secondly, Mr. Bauer (R-Chelsea) seems to like spending time in the gym...
..and he jogs to keep himself fit and trim.
He also hangs out with butch-looking women...
André has been known to wear festive gowns...
... and has been known to enjoy some man-on-man lovin' while wearing said gowns.
And who is THIS handsome gentleman with André? I swear, I think the guy on the left and I hooked up once - so André needs to keep his hands off my man. Don't make me cut a Lt. Gov. beeyotch.
Finally, it seems Mr. Bauer has a little bit of a uniform fetish...
So, based on this extremely scientifical evidence, what do you think? I say: Gay Gay GAY!
13 comments:
And he lives in Chelsea.
Nuff said.
Yes, he moved to "Chelsea, SC" after spending a few years in "West Village, SC". I believe he was born in "Castro, SC" - but was raised in "Stonewall, SC". :)
I wonder if he has a beach home in the lovely "Lizaville" town on the coast?
The evidence speaks for itself. I think you're onto something!
PS to Tom A.: WOOF!
ding! ding! ding! Gaydar going off big time!!!
I heart you. Crikey did you make me laugh today.
Jessica
You make a compelling case. Should be interesting if he moves on up!
"South Carolina Governor Mark Sandford (R-Argentina)." ROFL! You slay me!
This certainly does look highly suspicious. Has the Lt. Gov. EVER been married--not that that really means much--or is he a 40-year-old bachelor? Hmm...fascinating! XOXO Beth
He looks a lot like Will from TV's "Will and Grace". In a cute way.
Loved (R-Argentina) !
He is adorable, in that geeky, I am so hiding something, sorta way.
That's been the "News On The Down Low" down here in SC for quite some time.
And it's also why a lot of Repugs don't want Sanford to resign.
Better to have an adulterer who uses taxpayer money to fund his booty calls than have a man who MIGHT--well, probably IS--gay, be governor.
Backwater hillbilly state!
Let's hope he IS gay!
Even if South Carolinians were as enlightened and sophisticated as to ignore Bauer’s sexual orientation and focus on his qualifications, they would still have to take into account the possibility of him being open to blackmail if he maintains a closeted lifestyle. That is a large risk for someone opting for governor of a state.
Bauer needs to clear the air by either admitting he is gay or confronting allegations head on until they are resolved. South Carolinians deserve to have this matter settled.
oooopppsies I have met Aundre, and he certainly seems very,, well,, He has never been maried. And lets just say that I "know" some stuff
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