Totally Straight Rep. Aaron Schock Turns 30

Non-gay Congresstwink Aaron Schock (R - Fire Island Pines), who is TOTALLY not gay, turns 30 years old today. Happy Birthday Girl Congressman!

Reports say that Miss Thang Rep. Schock celebrated at a Mimosa Brunch with friends from the Gym, followed by a quick mani/pedi and then a disco nap in preparation for tonight's club-hopping. Just like any normal, warm-blooded, All-American straight dude.

"GUUUUURRRRLLL - you BETTER be at the Club tonight!"

.

Evan Lysacek Wants A "Girlfriend"

Figure skater and paragon of masculinity, Evan Lysacek, recently told Radar that he's looking for a "girlfriend". But I think Evan meant {{{snapping fingers sassily}}} "GUUUURRRLLLFRIEND!". Via Dlisted:

"I'm lonely. I need a girlfriend. I’m looking for funny, someone who can deal with a busy schedule—which has been a problem in the past. And I don't know, just a cool girl. I need someone to hang out with me.”

Honey, I hear ya.  You need someone who will talk about boys, sequined costumes and Jazz Hands with you.  We all need that, Princess...