This Is Why I Love NYC

Because at any given moment, a band of Oompa Loompas can (and do) appear. And then burst into a dance routine...

... in step with the Oompa Loompa Song (which someone played on a boombox).

Then, just as suddenly, the Oompa Loompas marched away ...

... and us non-Oompa Loompas went about our business. Just another day in the big city.

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The Day Anderson Cooper Prevented Me From Eating Fried Chicken - But Almost Gave Me A Heart Attack Anyway

Earlier in the week I had a Close Encounter of the Gay Kind - I passed Anderson Cooper on the street near my job.

It was lunchtime and my evil "FUCKIT!" switch had gone off – telling my brain that we were HONGRAY for Fried Chicken. The nearby Gourmet Garage (it’s like a condensed version of Whole Foods) always has some pretty good chicken at their deli counter, so off I went to satisfy my craving.

But immediately after crossing the street I noticed a silver-haired hottay coming right at me. It didn’t take long to realize that this was uber-Journamalist, A-Gay, and Vanderbilt Jeans heiress Anderson Cooper.

But DAMN – that Queen moves fast! I hesitated for a second, but then thought it would be a hoot to get a picture for my DustBunnies (talk about journamalism!). So I went on the chase…

I had no idea that the descendants of Commodore Vanderbilt were frickin’ built for speed. ACoop was moving faster than me at an all-you-can-eat Arby’s Buffet or Charlie Sheen on his way out the door of Rehab. Darlings, he was putting FloJo to shame on the streets of NYC. Needless to say, I never caught up to him – and was only able to snap this very blurry picture (top) while on the move.

My moment with Anderson Cooper, however, DID make me forget about Fried Chicken AND it prompted me to get a little exercise. So there’s that.

But next time, dear Andy, cut a fat girl a break and slow down a little. No need to kill a biatch...

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On The Streets Of NYC

These pictures of random guys - shot by a photographer on the streets of NYC - should explain why walking around the city is the ONLY form of exercise that I don't absolutely despise.

All pictures obtained via tumblr




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Oldie But Goodie

Source

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SOOOO Not Fair

Just when I decide to lose weight, they go and invent a Cupcake Truck. Bastards.

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A Trap For Snooki and The Situation

The same people who gave us "Hipster Traps" are now trying to ensnare Bridge and Tunnel people. Bait includes Hair Gel, Bronzer, Drakkar Noir and PATH Train tickets (SOURCE).

"Bridge and Tunnel" is how many Manhattanites refer to the people residing in New Jersey and/or the other boroughs of New York City. Obviously, 'B & T' refers to the ways in which these people access "The City" (AKA Manhattan). The term is especially popular when referring to nightlife (Example: "We went to Marquee for some drinks last night but it was filled with nothing but Bridge and Tunnel. We won't make that mistake again").

A perfect example of Bridge and Tunnel: Every person who has ever appeared on Jersey Shore.

UPDATE: Check out some people's reactions to the "Trap" HERE.

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White Meat Monday - The END

Josh M.

Let's end this Monday on a high (and firm) note, shall we?!?


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On The Streets of NYC

I took a "SIRveillance" picture of this stacked gentleman on 6th Avenue (that's "Avenue of the Americas" to you tourists) just a little while ago.  But THIS is the reason why I noticed him in the first place...

Money shot!  In the heat and humidity of NYC, his shorts were clinging to his booty like me holding onto an Arby's Roast Beef sandwich.

And, like Arby's Roast Beef - he looked just as delicious.

The Streets of NYC - Nice "V" Shape

I snapped these pictures last week during one of my post-work walks through Manhattan.  Papi was sporting some nice shoulders, which tapered down to a trim waist.  Delicious.

Teabaggers ... In MANHATTAN!

I walked home tonight, and don't you know I encountered that rarest of species ... Teabaggers rallying in Manhattan!!  OMG - what a bunch of sad, delusional crackers.

There was a few hundred of them - which surprised me - and they were listening to some Michelle Bachman wannabe moan about "big government" and "Obamacare".  Whatevs.

The funniest thing was the reaction of the passers-by.  First of all, the TeaTards were herded behind police barricades, and everyone was looking at them like the freaks they were.  Even the HOMELESS people were harassing them.  You know your cause is pitiful when the people wearing trash bags instead of pants think your ideas are insane.

Walking In NYC - Street Vendors

Handmade Jewelry

Last night during my walk I took some pictures of the various street vendors peddling their wares along the way.  You might be surprised by all the crap stuff you can buy on the busy streets of Manhattan.

"How To Roll A Blunt For Dummies". The author was autographing the copies he sold.

Fresh Fruit

Sunglasses

$6.00 Shirts

This truck seemed to sell every food under the sun - all of it "Halal" (permissible under Islamic Law).

This guy (in front of the Port Authority Bus Terminal) was "Nuts 4 Nuts".  It just so happens that a lot of other men loitering outside the Port Authority are "Nuts 4 Nuts" also.  And they too charge a fee for their nuts - which are NOT honey-roasted.  As a rule.

I also passed a woman selling churros (kind of a long Latin American doughnut), as well as people selling children's books, $5.00 "Pashmina" scarves, Zodiac wall plaques, and items used for smoking (but not tobacco).  The last guy (Mr. Smokey) DEFINITELY didn't want me taking his picture...

Overheard On The Streets Of NYC

On the way to the subway this morning, I walked past two homeless-looking men. They were discussing a third person (who was not there), and Homeless Man #1 said to Homeless Man #2:

"I told him - 'I gotta cut you off, like a Oxymoron'."

I'm assuming than an OXYmoron is worse than a regular moron. And therefore, should be cut off. Sounds logical to me.

Walking Home

I did some "Hottieveillance" last night on my walk home from work. Yes, I WALKED ... and I took some pictures on the sly ...

The picture above is of Gym Bar - a popular gay watering hole on 8th Avenue in Chelsea. The seated gentleman is one of the Bouncers. To further prove that NYC is the biggest small gay town in the world, I have actually posted a picture of this gentleman before. He was the ONE hottie I photographed at the City Hall Prop 8 Rally back in November. Remember him?...

Yep ... same guy. I didn't realize they were the same person until yesterday.