Top Chef Texas - Ep. 12 - "Block Party"

Last time on Arrested Development Top Chef, Rita Leeds (AKA Charlize Theron - below) flew in from Wee Britain to promote a movie and be an evil queen (a role I play on a daily basis). Paul won (is it me, or does he win everything?) and Beverly was sent home.

This week’s show begins in the stew room after the previous challenge. Rita Charlize enters and thanks the cheftestants for a great meal. She gets all Top Chef fan-girly and it’s kind of adorable.

The next morning the cheftestants enter the Top Chef kitchen and are greeted by Padma, Emeril and chef Cat Cora – who just so happens to have a new show coming up on Bravo. Coinky dink!

The chefs are instructed to separate into 3 teams:

Grayson/Chris

Paul/Ed

Lindsay/Sarah

For the Quickfire challenge, the cheftestants must prep shrimp, shuck and peel corn, and make pasta. And after all that’s done, they’re supposed to prepare a dish with those items in the time remaining. The winner gets $10,000 big ones.

Cook cook cook… Grayson won’t shut up … Chris thinks “fast is slow, and slow is smooth” (up is down, right is wrong – he must be a Republican) … Paul is Ed’s bad luck charm … Lindsay and Sarah finish their “mise en place” first and start cooking … Grayson and Chris begin cooking last (they couldn’t get their “mise” in the right “place” fast enough).

Even though they had the least amount of time to cook, Chris and Grayson win.

Elimination Challenge:

This week’s challenge is sponsored by Healthy Choice (groan) – the “healthy”, watery, tasteless, frozen alternative to real food. The chefs will now be competing AGAINST their teammates – each making a healthy version of the same dish for a block party/food drive.

They meet quickly and discuss what to make. Ed and Paul will do Asian BBQ, Chris and Grayson will be doing chicken salad sandwiches. And Sarah/Lindsay will be doing meatballs. 

The chefs run around Whole Foods (as always) and then head back to the house for worrying and sleeplessness.

The next day the chefs have 2 ½ hours to prep – and during this time we find out that none of the cheftestants have any idea what a block party is.

They head to the “block” to set up and the guests start arriving … Ed is watching people take his bread like a hawk because he doesn’t have enough … Bees are all up in everyone’s business and Chris J blows up like me during an Arby’s binge if he gets stung. 

The judges arrive: Padma, Tom, Emeril, Dana Cowin (Editor, Food & Wine). They are greeted by Ryan from Season Four, who is a “Flavor Ambassador” for Healthy Choice. This must be an easy job, considering the fact that those frozen bricks are pretty much flavorless.

Eat eat eat … Ms. Cowin would like some vodka please … Lindsay used Quinoa – which my nutritionist insisted I tried and it was NASTY (which makes it perfect for Healthy Choice!) … Paul doesn’t own white socks but he DOES own those horrible Crocs.

Stew room … Padma calls Grayson, Paul, Lindsay. The guests made them the top three. Grayson tussles with Tom over Chicken Salad and Meatballs (or something). And the winner is … Paul. Is it just me, or does Paul get cuter every week???

This means Edward, Chris and Sarah are in the bottom. Ed is on the bottom for the UN-healthy choice of pork BBQ. Chris is there for dry bread. And Sarah is being punished for an inconsistent salad.

The judges get judgy with it and … Chris J is sent home for his dry (as the Sahara Dessert) and flavorless (as a Healthy Choice entrée) Chicken Salad Sandwich. Look for him to be Healthy Choice’s next “Flavor(?) Ambassador”.

Next week … Pee-wee!!!!!!!!!

What did YOU think of last night’s episode – please leave your thoughts in the comment section.