Twitter Truthery

My Life Is Now Complete

Those purveyors of delicious roast beef over at Arby's are FINALLY following me on Twitter! But what in the curlyfried hell took them so long??? (I ain't mad tho)

Marriage Equality Celebrity Tweets

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Updated For The Internet Age

Source: JMG

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BREAKING: Terror Alert Level Raised

... to "Confetti".


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Obama / Osama Tweets

Someone PLEASE tell me it's true that Donald Trump's The Apprentice was interrupted to begin coverage of Bin Laden's death. Poor Donald ... he's not having a very good week.

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Show Off

SO WHAT - she's good at SCIENCE! What's that gonna get her - a job in Aerospace Engineering?!? Oh, wait...

WUT-EVAH. I bet Miss Thing hasn't done truly noteworthy stuff like winning a Watermelon eating contest AND a Hopscotch tournament like yours truly had by the age of 14. Put THOSE on your resume and see what happens, little girl!! [Spoiler Alert: Not a damn thing]

On the other hand, HERE'S a young lady who knows her science, and is PASSIONATE about it:

I bet her parents are so proud.

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Lost In One Tweet

Six seasons of Lost - with too many twists and turns to even mention - boiled down into 140 characters.

Sounds about right...


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Are There NO Homosexuals Working At Twitter ?

BREAKING: Broadway diva and gay icon Patti LuPone went unrecognized and was dissed at Twitter's corporate headquarters in SAN FRANCISCO!

From SFist:

Musical star-actress-memoirist Patti LuPone, who appeared in San Francisco last week, took advantage of the visit to drop in on the offices of Twitter. A stranger impersonating LuPone had established a Twitter account, she said, and was sending out messages purportedly from her. LuPone and her people had tried to address this through the website, but found themselves unable to hack through the electronic briars; hence the personal visit. 

The Twitter receptionist - apparently not knowing who LuPone is - wasn't exactly helpful, said LuPone's publicist, Philip Rinaldi. In fact, she seemed to LuPone so unhelpful that LuPone became visibly impatient. At that point, the receptionist threatened to call security.

First question: Is that receptionist still alive? Patti LuPone DOES NOT PLAY.

Second question: In the name of Judy Garland and all that is Holy - ARE THERE NO HOMOSEXUALS AT THE SAN FRAN-FRIGGIN-CISCO OFFICES OF TWITTER?!?!???

Third question: Assuming there was at least one card-carrying, showtune-loving, Sunday brunch-having 'Friend of Dorothy' in that building - why didn't Miss LuPone have him called to the front? I'm sure she's used the "I DEMAND TO SEE A GAY!" trick before.

All it would have taken was one GAY GASP of recognition from a certified Queen, and the problem would have been solved immediately.

Story developing...

Thanks to DustBunny Kailyn for sending this in.

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Watch Out For The Union Guy

Source: BosGuy

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Gone But Not Forgotten

I didn't watch the Oscars last night, but apparently they forgot to include Corey Haim (who died last March) during the "These Are The People We Lost" montage. But those intrepid Twitterers (try saying that 3 times fast) certainly didn't forget the late Lost Boys actor.

via TDW

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Nothing Says "Gangsta" ...

... like throwing down some Kazoo up in this mutha. Word.


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Egyptian Protests - EXPLAINED

Sounds reasonable to me.

Source


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Do They Have "Timeouts" In Fashion ??

Is this model calling a "timeout" on the runway during a fashion show? Is that legal? I'm pretty sure it results in a 15 yard penalty and the loss of an accessory. Or something.

Maybe he's making the international symbol for Twitter (which I totally just made up) ...

Speaking of fashion and Twitter - at 10 pm (EST) I'll be drunk tweeting The Fashion Show: Ultimate Colostomy Bag - come say "hi".

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He Sees You When You're Tweeting

Speaking of Twitter - join me at 10 pm EST for cocktails and stank talk during The Fashion Show: Ultimate Constipation tonight on Bravo.

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Joe Jonas is REALLY Excited to be on Top Chef Tonight

There's certainly SOMETHING going on in those jeans

Joe "Totally Not Gay" Jonas appears on Top Chef All Stars tonight to help judge the quickfire challenge. Dale Talde's reaction to this earth-shattering news cracked me up - he's obviously a big Jonas Brothers fan ...

Speaking of Top Chef All Stars, I had a little Twitter exchange with Carla "Hootie Hoo" Hall last night! It all started when I received this notice in my inbox...

Yup, Fabio "Top Dog, Italian Dog" Viviani is following me on Twitter! I sent him a "thanks for following" tweet, and shortly thereafter I got THIS in my email inbox...

Hootie ... HOOOOO! I figured she was just following me because Fabio was, but then we had THIS short exchange...

Yikes! I THINK I was relatively kind to Carla in my recaps that season, but maybe I should go back and check ...

Anywhore, Fabio told me he'll be live tweeting during the show tonight, which should be fun (FYI: he tweets with an accent also). I'll be taking notes for tomorrow's recap during the show, but I'll try to stop by Twitter and say hello at some point.

Follow Me on Twitter HERE

Follow Carla Hall HERE

Follow Fabio Viviani HERE

Follow Dale Talde HERE

Follow Spike Mendelsohn HERE

Follow Jamie Lauren HERE

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Airline Pilot FTW

This tweet warms my cold, dark, bitter heart.


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Old School Twitter

Vintage Twitter = Post-It notes (source).

Speaking of Twatter, if you would like to follow me (and, really, who wouldn't? - don't answer that) click HERE.

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Giving That Shoe "The Morgan Treatment"

For those of you who don't watch Top Chef: Just Desserts - Morgan Wilson (below) is one of the Cheftestants. He is also straight - not that there's anything wrong with that. But on last week's episode we found out that Morgan has a "thing" for women's shoes, when he became obviously excited after finding out that lady's shoes would be their inspiration for the challenge. It was CREEPY - Morgan turned into a combination of Carrie Bradshaw and Jeffrey Dahmer - with a touch of Jon Hamm thrown in for good measure.

The producers should have zoomed in on Morgan's chefs pants - I'm sure his "inspiration" was showing.

Speaking of Top Chef: Just Desserts, feel free to join me on Twitter as I share my (drunken) thoughts on tonight's episode.

LOL - The Upside of being Underground