I Am NOT THE ONE...

I don't know HOW I ended up on Christian Coalition of America's  distribution list, but I received an email from them today. It was a desperate plea for donations from Roberta Combs, the President of the Coaliation.  She stated that donations were needed in order to fund the printing and distribution of "millions" of Voter Guides "to show people where the candidates really stand on the issues – and ensure a record turnout of America’s pro-family conservative voters this November".  And if I donated just $5.00, I would receive a "Let's Take America Back" window sticker, so I can show all my neighbors how stupid I am!

I actually clicked on one of their links and read their ridiculous agenda: opposing stem-cell research, putting prayer back in schools, defending Don't Ask Don't Tell, and opposing marriage equality.  After throwing up a little in my mouth, I sent the following response:

Girlfriend........

Oh honey, I am NOT THE ONE.

As a confirmed DiscoStick-loving HOMERSEXTICAL, I find your "Coalition" of mouth-breathing inbreds to be offensive and vile. And I got some news for you: America's Progressive Train keeps chugging right along (didya see the news out of California yesterday?), leaving your "Dumbass White People For Jeebus Club" (and others like it) behind. Gays are marrying in Iowa, fer chrissakes!!!!! If you think you can "take back America" with your antiquated ideas about what a family should look like, then you are as stupid as you are ridiculous.

Needless to say, take me off your mailing list. On second thought, leave me ON your list - because I need a good laugh every now and again.  Besides, I can always use blog material.

Sincerely (emphasis on "Sin"),

David

By the way, it was difficult, but I was able to locate a picture of Roberta.  It was taken in her double-wide trailer on the birthday of her cousin Jim-Bob - who also just-so-happens to be the father of 4 of her 16 kids.  She's a real beauty...