Top Chef Texas - Ep. 10 - "Bye Bye Boring"

On last week’s episode of Top Chef, the cheftestants attempted to bar-b-que their way to the top – and Paul and his team managed to get there. Sarah – on the other hand - ended up going head-to-head with a fire pit (the pit won), and Malibu Chris was sent home for his salty ribs. 

This week the chefs are greeted by Padma and the dude-who-owns-no-tweezers and are told it’s Restaurant Wars! Question: doesn’t Restaurant Wars always happen when they get down to 8 chefs remaining? Why did everyone seem so surprised? 

Anywhore, Padma informs them that this Restaurant Wars will be a battle of the sexes – dames vs. dudes. Each team will create a concept and a 3 course menu – with two choices for each course. 

The teams meet to decide upon a concept. The fellas come up with “Canteen” – which was what they called the dining hall at my summer camp. As a culinary experience, it’s not something I would want to revisit (“Bug Juice” and PB&J, anyone?!?). 

The ladies – after ignoring everything Beverly had to say, come up with “Half Bushel”. And since I’m a “the glass is half empty” kind of guy, “Half Bushel” sounds kinda half-assed if you ask me (which no one is, but whatevs). 

The cheftestants then head out to buy pretty things to fill their restaurant, and pretty food to serve to the guests. During this process, the dudes seem to get along swimmingly. The gals? Notsomuch. 

The guys are serving first – so they get busy setting up their cafeteria Canteen. Ed – who is the grumpiest grump since Oscar The Grouch – has decided to be in charge of the Front Of House. “Hi, my name is Debbie Downer – right this way to your table”. 

Service begins, and right away the guys don’t seem to know what they’re doing. Except – surprisingly – Mr. Downer in the dining room. 

The judges – Padma, Tom, Tweezerless Hugh, and Emeril – arrive and are seated promptly. They taste each course, and seem relatively pleased. Except for Tom, who can’t stop whining about the “Almond Joy” dessert not having coconut. We get it girl, YOU LIKE COCONUT. 

After service, the guys seem disappointed in their lackluster performance. We also learn that Paul got high in school. Oh, I’m sorry, I meant high GRADES. 

Now it’s the ladies’ turn. The gals seem to instantly be at each other’s throats, with Lindsay and Sarah talking to Beverly like a child who rides the shortbus. Also, their service is a mess – with people (including the judges) waiting to be seated and long wait times for each course. However, the judges seem really happy with the vast majority of their food. 

Service ends and everyone gathers in the Stew Room to await Padma. She enters, and asks to see the ladies. 

The gals learn that they are the top team – despite the shaky service and overcooked halibut (which was Lindsay’s dish but was executed by Beverly). Speaking of Beverly, she is announced to be the winner (insert side-eyes from Lindsay and Sarah HERE), and Bev gets to take home a big-ass bottle of wine. 

The guys then face the judges, and we learn that not only did the judges hate them, the diners did also – via some fancy phone app. 

Blah blah blah under seasoned blah blah blah unorganized blah blah no coconut… 

And Ty-lör Boring – with his hipster facial hair, umlaut, and Japanese Nanny is sent home. I would say we hardly knew thee – but after this week we actually know WAY too much. 

Next week: Charlize Theron!

What did YOU think about last night's episode??

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