Monday, June 30, 2008

Images of Pride: NYC Heritage of Pride Parade 2008

City Council Speaker (and out Lesbian) Christine Quinn, NY Governor David Patterson, and NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg.

Grand Marshall and transsexual actress Candis Cayne (Dirty Sexy Money). Candis moved to NYC at about the same time I did, and I remember seeing HIM (yes, him) at Boybar, and buying gum from him when he worked as a cigarette boy at Roxy.


White Meat Monday - Canadian BEEF!

No "mad cow" jokes allowed. These guys may not be everyone's cup of tea, but I LOVE me some beef. These pics were taken at an amateur Strongman competition in Papineauville, Quebec.

Pass the A-1 Steak Sauce please...

Design Star Episode Four - Stank Is Stayin'!

On the last episode of Design Star, ‘D Paul Diddy Diddy Dum Diddy Doo’ went back to the Bayou, and Tracee continued her long streak of stank.

This week, a mysterious note is left in the kitchen, telling the designtestants to pack their bags, grab their passports, and head to the airport. Everyone screams and yells and jumps up and down, expecting a trip to some exotic destination.

At the airport, Clive dramatically enters, and tells the designers that the paint cans before them contain the name of a country, and one can is blank. The designers open their cans, and either ‘Mexico’, ‘Italy’, or ‘Thailand’ is revealed. Gay Michael gets the blank one, and can choose any destination he desires. He picks Spain, because he’s “been there a million times”. I’ve been to New Jersey a million times, but I certainly wouldn’t pick Newark if given a choice of destination.

Clive gets them all pumped up about traveling, and then the airport hangar door opens to reveal the infamous “White Rooms” that the designtestants will be working in. As usual, they have been misled by Clive and the producers – no one will be traveling today. LIES! And besides, did anything think that HGTV had the budget to send these bitches around the world? They're lucky to have enough gas money for those rent-a-vans.

The challenge is to design a room inspired by the country they have picked. The designers have 12 hours, and $500 to spend at Michael’s craft store. They will get 2 gallons of paint, and use of the “Love Sac” sectionals which are already in the rooms. I don’t want to sit on ANYTHING called a “Love Sac” – it sounds nasty and unsanitary.

Time for shopping! Mikey V (who is rockin’ a tank top LIKE NO OTHER) goes directly for the Thai Tiki Torches. Gay Michael, who speaks like Terry the gay hooker from Reno 911, tries to use the term “ferosh”. Honey, if you aren't Christian “Mango” Siriano, then you should NOT use that word. Michael states that everyone will be surprised when he becomes the next Design Star. No one will be more surprised than me.

Stephanie is working the boobies and picking up decorative branches, while Tracee is working the stank and predicting a big win. Matt, as always, is “super excited!” about this challenge. But why is he wearing a bath towel on his head?

Back at the White Rooms, Gay Michael keeps going into Stank Tracee’s room and telling her how absolutely fabulous it is, all the while rolling his eyes behind her back. Lies! Then he walks around to Mikey V and the others and talks about Tracee like a dog. Seriously, that’s just being evil. Along with “ferosh”, Michael’s other catch phrase this week is “Tee-Ragic” (“tragic”). As in: “Gay Michael’s incessant use of catch phrases is Tee-Ragic”.

Wait, did Mikey V just use the word “drama”? And did he just check out Gay Michael’s ass?!? Lordy, Mikey V IS gay! And has horrible judgment when it comes to scoping ass!!

Clive does his traditional visitations, and even HE is rolling his eyes behind Tracee’s back (and, I’m sure, thinking “Tee-Ragic!”). Tracee has decided that everyone is being nice to her now because she’s such a strong competitor. Yeah, that MUST BE it. Meanwhile, she LOVES her “Italian” room – which looks more like Cruella Deville’s bedroom, if Cruella lived in a whorehouse. The worse the room gets, the more confident Tracee gets. Remember children, stank messes with your mind!

Matt has decided to go “high concept”, and build an abstraction of a Thai Buddhist temple out of the Love Sac. What he ends up with is a living room couch-cushion “fort” with lights. It looks like it was conceptualized when MATT was “high”.

Mikey V, Gay Michael, and Stephanie are finished. Matt is trying to throw SOMETHING together and compares his efforts to “swabbing the deck of the Titanic” (VERN YIP – DEAD AHEAD!!!!). Tracee is hot-gluing crystals to her “chandelier” wall painting (talk about perfuming a pig…). Mikey is laughing at Tracee (behind her back, of course) and say’s “she’s a mess”. Goodness, not only is he gay – he’s a Catty Gay!!!! Me-ow!

Gay Michael, continuing his LIES!, is now HELPING Tracee – all the while telling her how good her room is. Tracee just KNOWS she’s going straight to the top this week. All the fabulous Gays say so!!!

Time’s up, and they head into the green room – where they are greeted by some bald guy and a midget. I don’t watch HGTV, so I have no idea who they are. The midget, however, is ADORABLE. Her name sounded like “carport” – and I’m sure she’s an inspiration to midgets everywhere. Or do they call themselves “Little People” these days?...

Anywhoo, the designtestants make their way to the Elimination Studio, and stand before Martha, Vern, and Cynthia. Clive does his usual “when your monitor goes off, your show has been cancelled” routine. Is it just me, or is this whole “cutting off your cable” thing just a little bit cheesy?

The judges really likee Jennifer’s ceramic-inspired Italian room, and Stephanie’s poolside Mexican cabana. Trish and Mikey V also seem to do well.

Tracee, on the other hand, isn’t nearly as successful as the Gays said she’d be. Lies! Cruella Deville’s Whorehouse bedroom is Tee-Ragic indeed! Vern says “I hate it”. ‘Nuf said.

Gay Michael is also on the bottom – with a Spanish room that Martha said could be “Barcelona, Bayonne, Baton Rouge, ...”. I want to know the last time Martha McCully, Executive Editor for InStyle magazine, was in friggin’ Bayonne, NJ. Maybe they have a printing plant there or something. Or a Love Sac outlet store…

Finally, Matt's cushion fort also lands him in the bottom. The judges no likee, saying it was “too abstract” – which is a nice way of saying “How HIGH were you when you thought of this!??”.

The designers go back to the green room to cry, lay blame, and hate on each other. Gay Michael is sobbing and Tracee is STILL clueless about how bad her room is, asking “Did is suck or something”. No darling, it was PERFECT. If Michael would just stop crying, he could have given Tracee a catty “Tee-Ragic”, but that bitch’s gay timing is off due to hysterics.

They go back in front of the judges, and Martha (fresh from her vacation in Bayonne, New Jersey) tells them that in the past, the “White Wall” challenges showed who was headed for Design Stardom. Based on today’s results, she says, they are ALL pretty sucky. However, that means that any one of them could be the next Design Star. Except the person they are getting ready to kick to the curb. And Tracee.

Jennifer and Stephanie are the winners – and Mikey V and Trish did well enough to continue on. That leaves Gay Michael, Matt, and Tracee.

“Michael – your show has been cancelled”

WHAT?!? HE went home and Stank Tracee is still here?!? That is just wrong. They obviously weren’t going to send Matt home due to his past brilliance, and decided that Tracee’s stank makes for good television, which is just WRONG.

I know you all think I’m going to say something catty about Michael crying and wanting his Mama. Well, you think wrong. Michael actually made ME cry when he said “I want my Mom right now” – because that’s exactly what THIS gay boy says when things go wrong. We love our Mamas…

Buh-Bye Terry, er, GAY MICHAEL! It was a “Tee-Ragedy” that you had to leave!!!!

Next week, some Country Ho wants everyone to get shabby chic. Till then bitches!!!

White Meat Monday Daddy Of The Day - Nicholas

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Design Star - BREAKING NEWS!

They are talking shit about me on the message boards at!!!! Apparently, a fan of my recaps posted a link to my latest Design Star writeup. And then the shit hit the fan - people started calling me mean, racist, HOMOPHOBIC (happy Gay Pride, you stank bitches!), and WORST OF ALL - UNFUNNY!!! Hey, I can handle homophobic and mean - but UNFUNNY?!? How dare you!!! I put a good 20 minutes into that last recap. It was practically a masterpiece!

Check out the message boards here. You have to be registered to comment - and apparently if you use certain tagged words, your comment must be approved by a moderator. When I commented, I got tagged and have yet to be approved.

UPDATE: The comment police over at HGTV have taken down the entire thread. What a bunch of uptight bitches!

But, Darling Dust Bunnies, I have EVEN BIGGER NEWS. Yes my dears, it's a Gay Pride Miracle! As a result of my notoriety on the message boards, someone sent me some pretty good inside information....

Sexy Daddy MIKEY V. IS GAY!!!!!!

Now I don't know if the person who sent me this information was trying to smear Mikey's name, but they should know that around here, being gay is GOOD THING. This, my friend, is most welcome news indeed.

Check out this article about some trouble that Mikey V. got into. My tipster also said Mikey and his man are registered as domestic partners in Broward County, Florida. I couldn't dig up any kind of confirmation of this, however.

So to Mikey V. I say - HAPPY GAY PRIDE, DADDY. And have I got a "project" for you...

Look for my Design Star mini-recap tomorrow afternoon.

Happy Gay Pride Day!

Dearest Dust Bunnies, I'd like to wish you all - gay, straight, or undecided, a Happy Gay Pride. I won't be fighting the crowds at the parade today - I 'got my parade on' last year, so I should be good for a while. Besides, I will be very "Proud" if I can get all the laundry, cleaning, etc. done to prepare me for the upcoming week. Little things make me happier now that I'm older.

Every year over at Joe.My.God, Joe posts his pre-parade "Watching the Defectives" post. Please take a moment and read it - it is extremely moving and never fails to make me cry.

Stay fabulous everyone - and be safe!



Daddy Of The Day - Scott

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Friday, June 27, 2008

Never Forget...

I am typing this right around the corner from where the fight for “Gay Pride” began. We should never forget why we celebrate on the last Sunday of every June. From Wikipedia:

On Saturday morning, June 28, 1969, police raided the Stonewall Inn, a bar in Greenwich Village where gay people frequently gathered to socialize on Christopher Street, just off Sheridan Square. A number of factors differentiated the raid that took place on June 28 from other raids at the Stonewall Inn. Because raids had occurred at the Stonewall Inn in the past, managers usually knew what to expect when a raid was about to occur. Likewise, raids tended to occur earlier in the evening, which allowed the bar to continue with normal business for the busiest hours of the night.

On June 28th, however, an unexpected raid unfolded at the Inn. At approximately 1:20 am, eight police officers entered the bar with a warrant authorizing a search for illegal sales of alcohol. Of the eight policemen, only one was dressed in his uniform. The police questioned the customers and made many of them show identification. Many were escorted out of the bar, and some were even arrested. The escorted crowd became very angry and began to cause chaos outside of the Inn. While the police loaded arrested patrons into the police van, the existing crowd responded with catcalls and then, eventually erupted into violence. Transgender activist Sylvia Rivera claimed she "led the charge". They threw bottles at the officers, and even used a parking meter as a battering ram. The crowd’s attacks were unrelenting. Word quickly spread of the riot and many residents, as well as patrons of nearby bars, rushed to the scene. When the police officers went inside the bar, the angry clients blockaded the Inn and then torched it.

Eventually, the protesting crowd was so strong that each time the police would disperse the mob, a new group would re-form behind the police’s back, preventing them from actually breaking up the riot. Over the course of five days, the crowd of 400 protesters continued throwing bottles and lighting fires around the Inn. Police attempted to capture some of the violent rioters. If the rioters did not act fast enough, they were pushed and shoved and even clubbed to the ground by officers. Protesters in the crowd began to scream "Gay Power" and some activists dressed as drag queens started chanting:

We are the Stonewall Girls
We wear our hair in curls
We wear no underwear
We show our pubic hair
We wear our dungarees
Above our nelly knees

The police sent additional forces in the form of the Tactical Patrol Force, a riot-control squad originally trained to counter Vietnam War protesters. The tactical patrol force arrived to disperse the crowd. However, they failed to break up the crowd, who sprayed them with rocks and other projectiles.

Eventually the scene quieted, but the crowd returned again the next night. While less violent than the first night, the crowd had the same energy as it had on the previous night. Skirmishes between the rioters and the police ensued until approximately 4:00 a.m. The third day of rioting fell five days after the raid on the Stonewall Inn. On that Wednesday, 1,000 people congregated at the bar and again caused extensive property damage.

The following year, in commemoration of the Stonewall Riots, the newly formed Gay Liberation Front organized a march from Greenwich Village
to Central Park. Between 5,000 and 10,000 men and women attended the march. Many gay pride celebrations choose the month of June to hold their parades and events to celebrate “The Hairpin Drop Heard Round the World".

So to Sylvia Rivera, the Stonewall ‘Girls’, the dykes and the fags who started the fight for my rights as a gay person – I thank you. And I will NEVER forget…

Lady Bunny Friday Funnies

I adore Lady Bunny - she has been cracking my gay ass up ever since I moved to NYC. One of the highlights of my gay sister Maddie's life was meeting Bunny in the bathroom at the Palladium. Bunny was a wee bit drunk, and was threatening to use a branding iron on some hunk of beef. Good times...

Lady Bunny's blog is as hilarious as she is - here are two recent classics:

Daddy Of The Day - Geovanny

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Top Haircut - Episode One - "There Ain't Much Motion In This Oshun"

Alternate Title: "Operation: Get Rid of the Black Guy"

Don’t get excited – this is NOT a recap per se, just some observations about last night’s Top Haircut. Keep in mind, this is the absolute first time I’ve ever seen Shear Genius (I didn’t watch last season), so this is all new to me. I have to say, it WAS entertaining.

● Jaclyn Smith looks FLAWLESS – especially considering she’s like 80-years-old. Jaclyn obviously got the “Deluxe Package” at PlasticSurgery Mart, and she must use Heather Locklear’s makeup, hair, and lighting people. Fierce all around.

● Smith’s sidekick last night, “Master Colorist” Mr. Kim Vo, only bought the “Puffy Lip Special” at PlasticSurgery Mart. His hair color IS flawless – but everything else screams HOT TRANNY MESS.

● When Vo was introduced; they mentioned he is responsible for Britney Spears’ hair. What, those ratty weaves containing bits of Funyuns and Cheetoh dust??!!?? It’s time to take Brit-Brit off your resume, girl.

● Oshun, the token black guy, likes to refer to himself in the third person – and then use a bunch of words that rhyme with “Oshun” (pronounced like the body of water). Motion, lotion, potion, and ‘causing a commotion’ were all used (I think). And as we all know – because he’s black, he WILL be going home first – a la Top Chef (Nimma), Design Star (Scottie), and every horror movie ever made. Don’t call me a racist, bitches, this is a scientifical fact. Look it up.

● There is also a white chick named “Nekisa”, and a lesbian named “Dee”. I didn’t realize lesbians could cut hair. Top Mechanic or Top Janitor I could understand – but Top Haircut? Watch what happens!

● We also have the Bravo-patented “token straight guy” – who mentions his wife in his very first breath. Calm yourself Mary – we get it, you’re ALL ABOUT getting up in the cha-cha.

● Their version of the Quickfire Challenge – the “Shortcut Challenge” – last night had the salontestants cutting hair blindfolded. I was just glad that bitches were not stabbed or maimed. Oshun lost the challenge due to his “butcher job”. He should stick to rhyming.

● OK, seriously, hold the friggin’ phone. Who in the hell is “mentor” Rene Fris? He is gorgeous, but he REALLY needs to keep his mouth shut. He has one of those horrible Eurotrash accents, and I can’t tell if he’s talking about “hair color” or “her collar”. And his reading of cue cards has to be seen to be believed.

● The Elimination Challenge required the salontestants to create a hairstyle inspired by various cartoon characters. It is SO sad, I am too old to have any idea who the hell “Jem” is. There used to be a drag queen at the Roxy named “Gem Gender” who carried a plastic raygun – so we referred to her as “Security!”. But I don’t think that’s the "Jem" they were talking about last night.

● Jaclyn Smith just said “It’s time for the Hair Show”. I’m getting a t-shirt.

● Dallas Daniel – the Kayne Gillespie of the show – is all about “Southern Hair”. He wins the challenge with his Wilma Flintstone design. He keeps hairspray in his pocket. I keep money and some napkins to wipe my sweaty face in mine, but whatever.

● Oshun, who seems directly out of an In Living Color skit, loses and gets sent home. Wait, did he just say “Cracka Lackin’”? Buh-bye Oshun – you weren’t as “deep” as you kept saying you were.

● Operation: Get Rid of the Black Guy. ACCOMPLISHED.

For all things Shear Genius, visit our friends at Blogging Shear Genius.

Till next week, bitches!!!

Beach Hotties

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