Friday, August 17, 2012

Project Runway Episode 5: "Drag Queen Cocktail Hour"

Last week on Project Runway: Andrea disappeared, Killer Kooan quit, and Eddie Munster Raul returned – and was all “I’m back, bitches!”. 

Sonjia won the “Gal on the Go” challenge – while Buffi lost, becoming an actual Gal on the Go (going directly out the door). 

On this week’s episode, it’s morning in Manhattan and the designers have the usual sads over their departed fashiontestants, and the usual statements of “stepping up” in the competition. We also find out that Raul “loves” Christopher – a “connection” he hasn’t felt in a while. Translation: It's been a while (if you smell what I'm stepping in) and Christopher is starting to look like Ryan Gosling compared to some of the other designers. 

Then it’s off to the runway, where Heidi meets them with the dreaded Button Bag in hand and the dreaded Nina Friggin Garcia at her side. NFG is there to plug a new magazine – Marie Claire At Work. As you might expect, this new fashion rag is all about how ho’s dress from 9:00 to 5:00. 

The challenge this week will be to create a collection that is both editorial (there will be a photoshoot) and works in the “real world”. So, basically, this is the “Gal on the Go” challenge except this Gal isn’t going anywhere after work. 

The designers are broken up into two teams – Sonjia gets to pick first since she won the last challenge and Nathan’s name is picked out of the button bag – so he picks second. 

This is how the teams shake down: 

Team 6: Sonjia, Elena, Melissa, Dmitry, Alicia, Raul. 

Team 5: Nathan, Ven, Christopher, Fabio and Gunnar. 

Gunnar and Raul are picked last, and this obviously bothers them because they proceed to act like crazy bitches for the rest of the episode. Raul – who was picked dead last – is upset that Christopher didn’t “have his back” (cough cough). Calm down Eddie, you’ll be home soon and free to get your freak on, don’t worry. 

The teams head back to the workroom for 30 minutes of sketching and bitching. Raul is all about “Lace Raffles” (ruffles) and doesn’t care what anybody else thinks. Gunnar doesn’t “want to work with all these f#$%ing people!” – and according to the behavior of his teammates, the feeling is mutual. 

Then it’s time for a fabric flurry at Mood. Raul goes right for the lace and Team 5 heads for the Silk Chiffon department. Everyone returns to the workroom only to find out that Team 6 has left a bag at Mood. 

Then something happens to Elena. You know how Staples has an “Easy Button”? Well I think Elena has a “Crazy Button” – and someone pushed it 

Elena curses, she stomps around, she shrieks at anyone in her way. It’s bizzare. Christopher compares her to a wild person who just escaped from the woods. 

Tim Gunn visits – and starts with Team 6. For some reason, Tim likes Raul’s “raffles” and the collection in general. 

Then he visits Team 5 – AKA Team Silk Chiffon. Tim is worried that the collection is going to look “clownish”. Gunnar calls it “Drag Queen Cocktail Hour” which sounds like fun if you ask me. Gunnar, it turns out, also wants to use lace on his dress (without the ‘raffles’), but Tim talks him down from that ledge. Now if Tim could only get through to Elena and talk some sense to that crazy mess. 

After Tim leaves, Gunnar decides to completely change his look. “Dear Gunnar” he states out loud, and proceeds to have a nice little conversation with himself. It’s inspiring when the clinically insane have a breakthrough right in front of your very eyes, isn't it? 

Elena decides that she hates Dmitry’s navy fabric, as well as the shirt she is making, and everyone and everything in the universe. The Universe responds with a “Right back atcha”. 

Models arrive for fittings. Everyone rushes to finish. Dmitry calls Ven a “One Way Monkey” (one trick pony???). Team 6 calls Team 6 the “Silk Chiffonies” and Melissa remarks that women don’t wear silk chiffon to work every day. Or “raffles”, I’m assuming. 

Day One ends and Photoshoot Day begins. Each team must select 3 photographs, which will be considered (along with the runway show) as part of their scores. 

Someone hits Elena’s crazy button again, and she spends a good 3 hours freaking out. She yells about props, she yells about the model’s poses, and she even yells at the hair and makeup Queens. Not a smart move Elena – those Queens will make sure your models are fugged up from now on – mark my words. 

Dmitry sums up the entire episode in two words: “Ugh … Elena”. 

COMMERCIAL BREAK: The Week The Women Went – Day Two. Cleetus and Jim Bob go to the Piggly Wiggly and it gets ugly. 

The photoshoots ends and it’s time for the Runway show. Heidi greets the designers and introduces the judges: Michael Kors, Nina Friggin Garcia and NFG’s boss, Joanna Coles. 

Models walk and judges gawk. When all is said and done, both teams end up with exactly the same scores. This means anyone could win or lose, and either team can win the Marie Claire at Work photoshoot. 

Heidi talks to each team, and asks the dreaded “Who was the weakest link” question. On Team 5 the general consensus is Gunnar, and on Team 6 it’s Raul and Elena. 

The judges likee Melissa’s dress with the ridiculously high collar, as well as Fabio’s and Christopher’s looks. 

The judges no likee Elena’s puffy shoulder outfit, Gunnar’s “2 puppies wrestling in a sack” boobie dress and Raul’s two bad tops (cough cough). 

Results: Team 6 will get the photoshoot (despite Elena and Raul). And Melissa is the winner… 

And Raul is the looser… 

Next week on Project Runway: the dreaded “We’re not dressing skinny models this time” challenge! Oh noes!!!!!

What did YOU think of last night’s episode – please leave a comment and let us know. 


the dogs mother said...

"the “Gal on the Go” challenge except this Gal isn’t going anywhere after work"

Like, totally!
Maybe fashion editors dress like this in the office but 99% of office working women do not. Especially the one shoulder bare!!

Elena will be dragged off the set kicking and screaming. They will have to post extra security and then take out a restraining order on her. Mark my words...

mrs.missalaineus said...

i so want you to come sit in my classroom and recap my work life on a weekly basis! your recaps are so on like donkey kong!


Miss Ginger Grant said...

I didn't watch it, because I am far too old, and tired, and too busy planning my 50th birthday celebration which happens 6 months from now. Did I mention that you have 6 months to figure out a way to get to NOLA?

Max Green said...

I totally agree, @dogsmother, that no business woman would be able to bare a full shoulder in the workplace. I’d be sent straight home if I waltzed into my office at Dish wearing that! These designers better step up their game because this season has not been very interesting so far. I’ve gotten in the habit of just recording episodes so I can fast-forward through all the dreary whining and moaning from the designers. Well, even if this season never picks up the pace, it’s no skin off my back since these hour-long episodes will barely scratch the surface of the tons of recording space available to me on my Hoppy DVR. I already know that the show will dramatically improve once Elena is eliminated. LOL!

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