Blasians Do It Better

According to the hysterical blog Hit Dan Back, here is an interesting text exchange between Tiger Woods and former Tool Academy Ho Jaimee Grubbs (above left) ...

Grubbs wonders: “Why I keep falling more and more for u .”

Woods’ unexpected reply: “Because I’m Blasian .”

Git it, Blasian Persuasian!! Ok, Tiger is attractive - but he ain't got nothing on Big Daddy Blasian Number One ... Tyson Beckford:

Ouch. That man is so gorgeous it hurts!!

More tidbits about Tiger. The New York Daily News REPORTS today that Woods paid for "professionals" ... often two at a time. "Former" (cough, cough) madam Michelle Braun (below right) tells the News that Tiger often spent $30,000 or $40,000 per weekend on "companionship":

"He could go for days," she said. "He'd pay a flat rate for an evening, but an evening would usually be extended. The girls would talk about his stamina."

And...

"He'd shower them with gifts, he was very polite and he was amazing in bed ... very sensual and well-endowed."

Git it, Blasian Persuasion!!

Ho's Are Coming Outta The Woodwork

Every Ho in Hotown is now claiming to be having an affair with Tiger Woods. This phenomenon is known as "CanIGetaCheck-itis".

The latest chaste maiden to claim access to Tiger's "back nine" is Jaimee Grubbs (above). You might remember her as the Ho who was on the first episode of Tool Academy.

Jaimee was the one who brought her "boyfriend" Shawn (below) onto the show. Then, during episode two, Shawn's real girlfriend Aida showed up - and Jaimee hightailed it outta there. Of course later in the season a THIRD gal showed up claiming to be pregnant with Shawn's baby. Tool Academy can get complicated - you've got to pay attention!


But seriously, I would like to take this opportunity to make an announcement: I HAVE BEEN HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH TIGER WOODS. After all, you know how I feel about a man with nice guns...


Can I get a check for that?!? To read more about Jaimee's lies claim, go HERE.