Wednesday, July 21, 2010

No More Secrets

I've been feeling a little distant from my blog and the blogosphere lately - and it's all because of a huge secret I've been keeping from you.  So much of what has happened in my life over the past few weeks has centered around one fact - one fact I haven't shared with the BunnyNation....

While in the hospital, I found out that I am HIV Positive.

First of all, please be assured that I'm doing fine.  ADAP (AIDS Drug Assistance Program) recently approved me, and I'm now taking Atripla which is a combination of 3 AIDS drugs (sometimes called the "cocktail").  For now I take one pill before bed as well as antibiotics to prevent the pneumonia from coming back, but that's about it.  I am extremely committed to staying healthy, and plan on taking advantage of the available services to help me do so.

I told my family immediately and they have been wonderful.  I also told many of my friends - and for those of you I didn't, my apologies that you had to find out this way.  Thanks to all of you who have been so supportive over these past few weeks - it means the world to me.

Some might think I'm insane for blogging about this - but let's face it, I blog about EVERYTHING.  I've blogged about being depressed, overweight, and my love of Papis and 90's House Music.  Hell, ya'll have read about EVERY Arby's meal I've eaten in the past 3 years, for Jeebus' sake!  So holding back this important part of my life was really making me uncomfortable.  It feels better being open and honest - and there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.  I have a disease, I'm taking responsibility for it, and I'm not going to keep it a secret any more.

So - there it is, the whole truth.  Please know that I didn't do this for sympathy or to seem "brave" - but for the simple fact that if a homeopathic thrush remedy turns my tongue bright purple (true story), I want to be able to blog about it!

We now return to our regularly scheduled programming...

XOXOXOXOXO

56 comments:

Bob said...

First off, you are so NOT insane about blogging about this.
Not blogging would have been nuts.
There is [still] a stigma in this country about HIV, and that's mainly due to people keeping it a secret as though it says something horrible about them.
Which it does not. HIV is not a death denetence, it's a condition.
I am so glad you're doing well, and on medications and taking care of yourself. I personally know several people who have been Positive for many many years and know that it can be done as long as you take care of yourself.
I'm glad you shared this, David.


XOXOXOXOXOXO

Bob and Carlos

kayce. said...

i love you, david... i'm glad you finally "came out" on the blog. :) i know you're going to be fine and stay healthy, but i DEFINITELY want to know about the funny side effects and crazy people you meet, lol ~ what's a blog for if not to share your life, right? <333 xoxox!

Unknown said...

Sorry to hear, but on a good note, it is not like it was years ago... still serious, but controlled, you will be good... seems you have right attitude going into this. Keep up the good attitude, and I wish you the best.

Ian said...

David...I'm speechless buddy. But you know man this bitch has got your back LOL. You're in my thoughts man.

Tricky said...

I have so much love and respect for you. Keep your chin up. You should go to Arby's and have a couple of Roast Beef and Cheddar sandwiches. You'll feel great. LOL

Unknown said...

Thanks for sharing this little secret. I know you'll be fine and healthy. You are brave for facing it!

Hugs & Kisses from Mexico.

Miss Ginger Grant said...

Of course it's natural for you to blog about it! Your sense of humor will be great medicine for yourself and others!

Psychomom said...

I don't know what to say and this made me cry. I'm sorry for crying but I really care about you. Take care of yourself sweets. {BIG HUG}
OXOXOX

the dogs' mother said...

xoxoxoxoxo! More than proven that humor helps any medical condition so right off the bat you're golden there. I'm proud of how you are handling this. I'm proud of your family. The Dust Bunny Nation is safe and sound.

Tom A. said...

ugg. didn't your other doctor tell you "nothing was wrong" for several weeks when you complained about breathing problems?

The fact that he did not speak about HIV with you- a sexually active gay man living in NYC- is probably grounds for a medical malpractice suit!

I'm pissed off at him- whoever he is! He probably could have helped you avoid hospitilization!

Doug said...

I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis, David. I am glad though that you're getting the assistance you need. Keep taking care of yourself. xoxoxo

David Dust said...

Thanks everybody, I feel like a huge weight has lifted from my shoulders.

Tom - I plan on blogging about that very topic soon. Also, thank you for describing me as "sexually active". If only... :)

XOXOXOXOXOXO

gman7157 said...

David, sorry to hear of your news but your bravery, honesty & positive outlook is inspiring to us all.

I know we are not as close as some of your bloggers out here but have always felt somehow "connected" since the first day I found "David Dust". Perhaps one of these days we'll get to meet since I am in South Jersey -- we could tear up an Arby's together!

Greg
ManWatch

TonyJoe said...

Hey David, keep up your good spirits. Thinking of you,

TJ

Anonymous said...

David,

thanks for sharing with us, those of us that read you dialy do worry about when things are bad and are happy when things are good.

I am sure like many of us, and me included, we like to say we always have safe sex, but in the heat of the moment we say screw the condom, I want that cum!

Anyway, I wish you the best and know that you will be fine.

hugs from Ohio

Dan

dancinmachine said...

Thank you for sharing that. I read your blog daily. Please take care of your health. You are much appreciated!

Joy said...

It's a gift to let people know you and let them into your lives. You did that for many of us when you began your blog, and this is another part of your life that, knowing you, will be dealt with humor and insight. We're here for you. I'm glad you shared it, too.

Our phone conversation about it was funny since "Auntie Flame" was in full Bernice mode.

Love you! Love my nephews!! XOXOXOXXO

E. Judd said...

I stand strong with YOU!

You can become whatever you want: If you want kindness, be kind; if you want friends, be a friend; if you want laughter, become a clown.

Until we meet; Be good. Be glad. Be brave.

Con mucho AMOR!

Eric Judd-Nunez.
Claremont CA

Angel said...

I love you Tranny!!!!! and to NOT talk about it would've been crazy....you spill your guts about everything else,...why not this too? :)


I love you, Love you, LOVE YOU!!!!!!! that will never change. I am so proud of you and you know that we're all here for you...anytime/all the time. XOXOXOXOXO

Daddy Squeeze Me! said...

IM CONFUSED....

David Dust said...

Dearest Della -

What are you confused about, Darling??

XOXOXOXO

Unknown said...

David, my love. Blog about whatever the hell you want, and know I'll gladly read whatever you have to say. And I keep meaning to call you, but figure it out too late, when only Bill, Eric & I are awake. But know you are always in my heart and thoughts, and occasional dream...

David Dust said...

Howard - you need to stop keeping Vampire's hours, my darling.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Big Mark 243 said...

Man, that is a big shoe you just dropped!!

I don't know what to say... it strikes me close and I don't want to get overinvolved.

Wishing you all the best, David.

D. W. said...

Wow!!! Im speechless.

The only thing that comes to mind is this, "This is not the end, simply a new beginning."

Thanks & God Bless

Corey said...

David Dear, you know how news travels in the blogosphere! Someone suggested that I read this post, and I love it how you claimed and owned your truth, and basically said .....NEXT! Hopefully, talk of your courage (yes, I said it!) and integrity will spread just as quick! Keep it movin' baby! Bravo!

Corey!

Sozo's Blog.com said...

David,

I love you and I do think you are brave, whether you meant to be or not. I'm glad you decided to share whit all of us, so that we can offer our lil bit of love and support.

Like many have already said, we are with you and this doesn't change a thing for any of us.

As I'm sure you already know, this is not a death sentence but simply a condition.

Walk Proud my friend, we love you!

Unknown said...

omg- I'm in tears. You're like a "friend in my head"- but certainly one of my heroes. And that's not changing.
I'm not super knowledgable about the disease, but the treatments have gotten so much better. I'm nearly speechless, and I wish I had the proper words to make this better, to give you comfort. But what I can say, what I do know is - I have nothing but love for you.

Kyle Leach said...

David, I'm glad you told us and can now blog about your experiences. It is important for people to hear HIV + stories, especially from people they look up to. You've helped to break the silence. That is vitally important.

I'm glad you are doing well and are on meds and are getting good treatment advice. David, take care of yourself, the Bunny Nation needs you on top of your game.

Wonder Man said...

David-

I hope you know I'm here always. And it is neat to see the love and support on this blog. You will be fine. I know this.

Mr.Mischief said...

You are handling it very well Dave-I have blogged about everything that had any significance in my life and it seems perfectly normal to me..From all the responses I see, you have to know alot of people have your back-you are loved :)

Lelio said...

I know you said you don't mean to be, but I think you are brave and wonderful for feeling so comfortable about sharing this. It shows how much you care about the people who read your blog, and that you know how much we care about you. Thank you for sharing all of your ups and downs and in-betweens with us. You're fabulous.

js said...

Well, my advice (as a HIV guy for 15 years) would be to try to learn and understand everything about the virus and treatments and options. Now the treatments are easy and efficient. But I still see some newly HIV+ guys going on treatments too weak (or too hard to bare) for them. So stay informed ! But I suppose you'll find much information and support in the blogosphere... And thank you for sharing it and thank you for being and remainning sooo funny AND interesting! JS

Santo Domingo Colonial Zone Apts said...

A very courageous act. As you say, you write about everything in your life. Why should this be any different? All the best to you.

MICHAEL A. DAVIS said...

OMG David..I don't know you, but have enjoyed your blog for about a year now...You are a BRAVE man revealing this bit of info to the public, but as you said - you blog about everything so....
I found out I was positive about 3 months ago and it was quite a blow to say the least. The diagnosis wen against everything I thought I knew about the virus...
I too am on Atripla through ADAP. It has it's side effects sometimes, but it is manageable. HIV is manageable and as you probably researched - definitely not like it was even 5 years ago.
I will venture to say in about another 5 years we will be closer to a cure.
Love you man. Keep on keeping on.

Charlie Dale said...

First of all, thank you for being brave enough to say what you are living with it takes courage.
Secondly, HIV is not quite the same that it was 19 years ago when I learned had AIDS. There is so much more in todays world thsn then's and for you that is th best thing possible.
Lastly, I want to give you hope that life does continue with this disease. It can be full, it can be wonderful and it can be long. You have my support my "brother" and my encouragement.

theminx said...

Love you!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO (ad nauseum) :)

Unknown said...

David, I've never even met you yet feel I know you just from the entertainment you provide via this blog. I am sorry to hear about your diagnosis but I am so happy medical advances have been made and that your are able to maintain your regular activities. When one of my close friends was diagnosed approximately 20 years ago there was no treatment, little accurate info, and much stigma. You are blessed w/many friends and family and as a Physical Therapist who works in the acute care setting I can tell you a positive attitude makes 100% difference. Now, get thee to Arbys for the aforementioned Beef and Cheddars but please do not mix them with malt liquor...yeah, I learned about the side effects of THAT combo the hard way! You're in my prayers, Chief Bunny!!!

Gino said...

What can I say, that hasn't already been said? I know you will bitch slap any problems that might arise!!Keep it up with the hot men!!!

Unknown said...

I've been a somewhat silent Dust Bunny for a while now but I read this hours ago and you've been on my mind ever since so I knew I needed to comment and show you some support. I'm sending you nothing but love and good vibes. For many other people making an announcement like that via their blog would be defeated or at least a very sad post, but not you. In my eyes you're so admirable and I wish you nothing but the best.

Dan said...

Doll Face, you know I adore your ass. I am proud of your honesty.

XXOO

Tivo Mom said...

I just saw this (I am still on vacation) and I want you to know that I will always think that you are wonderful. No matter what! Take your medicine like a good boy and control this bitch. Love you and miss you my friend and you know what I am proud of you and proud to "know" you....

Unknown said...

Truly sorry to hear this, but you seem to be handling this well, and I'm sure you know that being HIV Positive is not the death sentence it once was.

Tho I've left comments before (usually challenging what you've wrote and you've never posted them) I hope that you will accept this heartfelt wish for a long and healthy life, and a lot more blogging for years to come!

Anonymous said...

I am glad you shared this with us because there are so many who decide to keep it quiet and hidden form others. Thus not getting the support & love form those around them.

As you can see from your comments, you have just that. And I for one want to wish you a long and healthy life with this because you have many more years ahead of you.

behrmark said...

How the hell did I miss this entry yesterday? I'm so thrilled to be a part of the Bunny Nation, which certainly rose to the occasion. I previously communicated that you will always have my love and support. BEHR HUGS!

Beth said...

Hey, you big sweetie, so sorry I missed this in the post-vacation recovery.

Hell, good for you for talking about this here. I have another blogger friend who posts about being HIV+, his prior meth addiction, and spending time in prison because of it. Sometimes a healthy dose of honesty does wonders for the soul.

Sounds like you're all set with your "cocktail," and as I'm sure you know, it is now a disease that can be managed. Years ago, when AIDS/HIV was first described, I attended a lecture given by an infectious disease doctor. He said that in a few years, he saw it becoming a manageable disease like diabetes. I am so happy that he was right, because that means that we get to keep you for many years! :)

XOXO Much love to you, David, and a big hug. Beth

Sam said...

Ho, you had me at hello.
I'm always here Sis. Very very proud of you David.

ChristinePL said...

(((HUGS))) Please continue to share your journey. I promise to listen through the good and tough times. I have rarely commented on your blog, but I promise to post when you need it the most.
Christine

Anonymous said...

You're not insane. You're a wonderful, honest person who lives what he believes. I wish everyone could do that.

Won't lie, though. I'm crying. I'm glad you know, glad you're staying healthy, but I hate when my friends get bad news!

Prayers, hugs and lots of love, honey bunny.

Ron Buckmire said...

Wow... thanks for sharing this aspect of your life along with everything else you share on this blog.

I would echo what other people have said that HIV is no longer a death sentence and you can do a lot as a prominent blogger to share your story with others.

I can't get over the irony that you got this information just as the International AIDS conference is happening in Vienna and the blogging conference is happening in Vegas.

Be well!

Ken Riches said...

Saw a reference in one of you other entries and did not realize it was so new. You are handling it with grace, we are here to support you.

Mark in DE said...

David Darling,

Will you stop at NOTHING to get blog comments??? Just kidding!!! :-) You already know that I adore you, your sense of humor, and your outlook on life. It seems entirely appropriate that you would share this as you have shared everything else here on your blog. Don't go changin' to try and please me. I'll tumble for ya. BTW, when does Project Runway come on again?

Hugs,

Mark

Jackie said...

Hi David,

I've been a silent Dust Bunny too. I'm a friend of Joy (auntie flame) and she told me to check out your blog long ago. I love the way you write. I'll keep you in my thoughts. Good Health.


Jackie

David Dust said...

Hi Jackie -

Any friend of my Auntie Flame's is a friend of mine. Don't be afraid to chime in every once in awhile - Joy certainly isn't shy about it!!

XOXOXOXOXO

Jimbo said...

Okay, so I'm a little late to the party. I haven't been blogging lately so I haven't been doing much reading either. Not like I'm leading a busy, glamorous life or anything...but wait, this isn't about me.

I admire your honesty and openness about this. I'm so proud of you. I'm sending hugs and good wishes your way. Seems to me that you're using this as a wake up call to take control of your health and well-being. I will be here to cheer you on. I look forward to stories from the scary gym and I look forward to hearing that you have NOT fallen out of bed due to nightmares. :)

XOXO

Jimbo

Anonymous said...

Wow. How did I miss this?

David, you're doing what not many people do, which write about the stuff they'd rather keep mum and under wraps. And I know you're not doing this as a means to "feel brave", it still is a big move on your part---even now at this stage of the game there's a stigma to having it. I know someone really close to me who has been undetected now come 12 years and isn't codependent on his meds, although granted, he still is on lighter stuff.

So you have my support.
HUGS

Me

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