Man Down - Code 10 !!

When it rains it pours. I mentioned previously that I'm fighting a cold - and yesterday I needed to stock up on some provisions. I went to the Dollar Store (crackers for chicken soup), to Rite Aid (drugs - sweet, delicious drugs), and finally to the Grocery Store (the aforementioned chicken soup) before heading back to my apartment. On my way home, while crossing a busy, slushy, muddy, icy Queens street - loaded down with shopping bags - I suddenly BUSTED.MY.ASS...

Ouch! As a result, I was sore, disgustingly muddy AND felt like crap. And to add insult to injury, no cute Papi came to my rescue. In fact, I didn't get so much as a "You alright?" from anyone - I had to just brush myself off and continue on my way.

Therefore, for the third night in a row, I went to bed early - which means I missed Top Chef.

But I have GOOD NEWS! If you would like to read a Top Chef recap which was written by the adorable Fabio himself - head on over to MinxEats HERE. Make sure you tell him David sent you.

In the meantime, I'll be nursing my sore throat (and ass)...

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Joe Jonas is REALLY Excited to be on Top Chef Tonight

There's certainly SOMETHING going on in those jeans

Joe "Totally Not Gay" Jonas appears on Top Chef All Stars tonight to help judge the quickfire challenge. Dale Talde's reaction to this earth-shattering news cracked me up - he's obviously a big Jonas Brothers fan ...

Speaking of Top Chef All Stars, I had a little Twitter exchange with Carla "Hootie Hoo" Hall last night! It all started when I received this notice in my inbox...

Yup, Fabio "Top Dog, Italian Dog" Viviani is following me on Twitter! I sent him a "thanks for following" tweet, and shortly thereafter I got THIS in my email inbox...

Hootie ... HOOOOO! I figured she was just following me because Fabio was, but then we had THIS short exchange...

Yikes! I THINK I was relatively kind to Carla in my recaps that season, but maybe I should go back and check ...

Anywhore, Fabio told me he'll be live tweeting during the show tonight, which should be fun (FYI: he tweets with an accent also). I'll be taking notes for tomorrow's recap during the show, but I'll try to stop by Twitter and say hello at some point.

Follow Me on Twitter HERE

Follow Carla Hall HERE

Follow Fabio Viviani HERE

Follow Dale Talde HERE

Follow Spike Mendelsohn HERE

Follow Jamie Lauren HERE

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Top Chef All Stars - Episode 1 - The Gang's All Here

So who watched Top Chef: All Stars last night? I did – and I thought it was the most enjoyable 75 minutes of television I’ve seen in a long time.

Please Note: I purposefully didn’t “Drunk Tweet” the show in order to take good notes and write a proper recap today. However, two things conspired against that…

• I forgot to bring my notes with me.

• The “All Star” Cheftestants are, much like the Top Chef Masters, are so aware of themselves, their ‘characters’, and their images – that it may be difficult to recap. DRAMA = FUN RECAPS, and these Cheftestants are all celebrities now, and most of them know each other. So I wonder just how much DRAMA there will be this season.

Here are some bullet points just from memory. Forgive my scattered train-of-thought:

• Last night was a great walk down Memory Lane, but I’m not sure casual fans of the show enjoyed it as much as I did. The elimination challenge was awesome – recreate the dish(es) that sent each person home, but it was a little bit insider-y.

• 18 Cheftestants is A LOT of people to keep track of.

• There is a special place in my heart for the Season Four (Chicago) Cheftestants – since it was the first season I recapped. And as much stank as I threw toward Dale Talde and Spike Mendelsohn – they are actually now my two favorites.

•  I love Dale because he’s a smack talking shorty who called out Chef Michael Chiarello on his douchery during Top Chef Masters. And I love Spike because… well, he’s Spike. As Chef Bourdain said last night – he is probably the sneakiest M-Fer to ever appear on the show. And Spike is actually a nice guy – I’ve corresponded with him on Twitter, and he totally doesn’t hate me for calling him an Asshat or accusing him of having a homobromance with Crazy Andrew.

• On the other hand, there are some Cheftestants who I simply cannot stand. Marcel, Mike and Stephen fall into this category. I also don’t care for Casey (I’ll never forgive her for what she did to Carla) and Elia. And I swear to Jeebus, if Angelo wins this I’ll be furious.

• Gail. Boobies. ‘Nuf said.

• I love how happy Tom Colicchio and Padma were to see these Cheftestants again. You could just see by the smiles on everybody’s faces that they are enjoying this.

• Fabio. Oh Fabio … how I love thee. In my eyes, he is “Top Dog … Italian Dog” – but I thought he was gonna go all Tony Soprano on Anthony Bourdain’s ass last night after Bourdain talked smack about his pasta.

So, what did you think of last night’s episode – please let us know in the Comments.

UPDATE: To read my Episode Two Recap, click HERE.

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Stefan and Fabio at an S&M Club...

Kinky bitches!! Actually, I stole this pic from Amuse Biatch, and I have no idea where it is from, or why Fabio is wearing Catwoman drag. But I happen to know that Fabio also owns a Wonder Woman costume...

Don't forget - Top Chef tonight @ 10:00 pm. Look for my recap tomorrow afternoon.

You can check out preview videos of tonight's New Orleans episode at MinxEats HERE.

>P, b.