Tool Academy Episode #3 - Humility or Humiliation?

Did anyone watch Tool Academy this week? Oh Em Gee – that is some quality television! A few observations…

I loved how the women totally made fun of “the new girl” and her non-symmetric breasteses. Keep it classy, bitches.


Tommy (below) is so stupid that he thought “humility” had something to do with “humor”. It does NOW, dumbass.


The “Therapist” that is supposed to help and evaluate these couples is named “Trina” (below). Personally, I make it a policy never to seek advice from people who are named after hookers and/or dogs (“Dr. Princess”, “Dr. Trixie”) but that’s just me. However Trina DOES have a British accent, so she is obviously an expert on something.


How classy was it for Josh to give his chubby girlfriend one of his Bowling Certificates to let her know he was serious about her? Nothing says “I love you” quite like a laser-printed award in a plastic frame from the Bowl-A-Rama...


When this week’s losing Tool – Clarence/Celebrity – announced in “therapy” that he probably wasn’t going to change, I LOVED it when Dr. Trixie (or whatever her name is) suggested the girlfriend hit on a punching bag to vent her frustrations. She freaking MAULED that thing. I think that was the point when Clarence said to himself “Oh shit, I need to get the hell outta here!”.

The big challenge this week was for the Tools to go to Universal Studios and sell baked goods in gay outfits. This would somehow show their “humility”. Whomever sold the most, won the challenge - and got a "conjugal visit" with their girlfriend. Seriously, why aren’t you all watching this show? Doesn’t it sound AWESOME!?? It features BAKED GOODS and CONJUGAL VISITS!!!!


Big Shawn with the hot body and unfortunate facial hair won the challenge – but then supposedly didn’t have sexytimes during the conjugal visit with his girlfriend Aida. But Shawn DID come back and drunkenly start a fight with one of the other guys. Seriously – this is riveting TV, ya’ll.


At the end, either Bowling Boy Josh, or Punching Bag Celebrity/Clarence was going home. And Clarence is the one. Once the biggest Tool of the week is asked to go home, he must then meet his girl to see if she will remain with him. The first two couples have remained together.

Oh, but not this time. Miss Thang’s exact words to Clarence/Celebrity were “Peace, Bitch!”. And with that, she got in her limo and drove away – leaving Clarence with nothing but his Tool in his hand…