Don't Worry ...

... Dexter has GOT THIS.


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Get Your Hair Did BEFORE You Stab

From The Daily What:

A 21-year-old New Haven man (above) was arrested yesterday in Stamford (CT) for stabbing another man in the back with a pair of scissors while getting his hair cut.

Oooooooohhhh, HONEY - if this whole "crime" thing doesn't work out the world always needs more Patti Labelle impersonators.

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Dusty The Cat Burglar

No, not my darling Dusty - some other cat named Dusty who's a well-known thief in his neighborhood. Happy Caturday!

Black Friday In A Red State

South Carolina has suspended its state sales tax on all gun purchases today and tomorrow - calling it an "ExtravaGUNza". From the New York Daily News:

The great state of South Carolina is putting its own sick twist on Black Friday with a tax holiday on firearm purchases. Not cars. Not clothes. Certainly not books. Just guns. For the 48 hours following Thanksgiving, gun buyers will enjoy a break of up to 9% in state and local taxes. Firearms traffickers are not expected to pass the savings on to New York criminals, but what is called "the extrava-gun-za" and "Second Amendment Weekend" is sure to help South Carolina stay among the top five states that provide 85% of the illegal handguns recovered in New York City.

Five states (Georgia, Ohio, Pennsylvania, South Carolina and Virginia) provide 85% of the guns recovered in NYC crimes. Gun runners go to these states, where it's easy to purchase firearms, buy whatever they can, and then go to NYC and sell these guns to criminals. And, eventually, these guns are used to commit crimes.

Believe it or not, I am not someone who believes that guns should be completely outlawed. My dad always had hunting rifles in the house (under lock and key), and we were taught at a very young age to respect guns. I think if someone wants to buy a rifle and go shoot poor, defenseless Bambi, then the 2nd Amendment allows them to do it. But they should be made to go through background checks up the wazoo ... to insure they are not insane and/or a criminal.

But when people are buying and selling multiple automatic and semi-automatic weapons that are made solely to kill PEOPLE, I think that's where we need to draw the line. No one needs an AK-47 to kill Bambi ... but it does come in handy when you want to mow down rival gang members.

I Went To School With An Alleged Murderer

A few weeks ago, A woman's dead body was found in the town I grew up in. Yesterday, one of my childhood classmates was arrested for her murder. Richard "Chip" Hodge (above) admitted to strangling Sheila Kline during sexual intercourse on Jan. 23rd in an alley in downtown Carlisle, PA. Hodge and I were in the same class from 1st Grade all the way through High School.

Wow. Chip was a quiet kid, who apparently later developed quite a drinking problem and a long rap sheet. Seeing his picture online kind of freaked me out. I remember a cute, skinny, quiet boy who was fast as hell on "Track and Field Day". But this picture just shows a tired-looking, 43-year-old accused murderer. So tragic.

Cops: Central Pennsylvania

This was an honest-to-goodness STORY from the online edition of my PA hometown newspaper:

Burglar defecates at scene in Shippensburg Township

By Staff Reports Dec. 22, 2008

A white male entered an apartment at College Park Apartments in Shippensburg Township on Friday and took care of business. According to state police at Carlisle, an apartment was entered through an unlocked front door and a man went to a closet and “did a Number two poo,” according to police.

Did you catch that? The STATE POLICE SPOKESPERSON said "did a Number two poo" - and the newspaper quoted him/her. Priceless.

I hope I make it back to NYC unharmed.

Cute Cop Busted for Bank Robbery

Christian Torres, 21, was a full-time NYPD cop and a part-time bank robber. He's now simply an inmate - awaiting trial for bank robberies in Pennsylvania and New York.

Torres was busted last week in Muhlenberg Township, Pennsylvania after robbing a Sovereign Bank branch there. After his arrest, he admitted to two additional bank robberies in NYC. He claims he used the money to buy a car, pay off his student loans, and purchase an engagement ring for his girlfriend. Read the story here.

If this Papi needed some money, he could have simply called ME. If have a few "odd jobs" he could do...

Nice Slippers...

This guy, William Torres, was arrested and charged with two murders in Allentown, PA. See the full story here.

Sexy slippers Papi!