Not Dead Yet!

I went to the Doctor yesterday for the follow-up visit that I've been putting off for weeks. The same follow-up visit that I thought my doctor was going to tell me I had "Die-A-Beet-Us"...

To refresh your memory, when I made the appointment one of the (idiot) receptionists said "Yeah, you need to come in, 'cause you diabetic". My response: "I AM?!?" - followed by her rushing to get me off the phone.

So I prepared for the worst when I went to see Dr. A. Of course, since I am so terrified by anything that has to do with doctors, I ALWAYS prepare for the worst.

I sat down with Dr. A. and we discussed my test results. We got to the end, and he never mentioned anything about "Die-A-Beet-Us". So I told him what the receptionist said, and he replied, "No, your sugar was just fine". Take THAT, Wilford Brimley!!!

I also had Dr. A. fill out the Customer Assistance paperwork for my très expensive Crazy Pills (Pristiq) - thanks to everyone for the suggestion. Now I have to wait to see if Wyeth approves me - keep your fingers crossed.

Finally, I had an echocardiogram done. This was not a pleasant experience.

First of all, you White Meat Monday fans would have loved the technician who did my echocardiogram. He was this strapping Russian guy with sandy-brown hair and relatively attractive razor-stubble. But, being Russian, he had the bedside manner of a KGB agent with a toothache. And he was wearing two-tone acid-washed jeans under his white lab coat. No. Just NO.

Anywhore, he told me to take my shirt off (which I try not to do - even in the privacy of my own home) and lay on the table on my side - butt facing him. THEN HE TURNED OFF THE LIGHTS. Hell, if I'd have know about THIS, I'd make a doctors appointment every week!

But(t) NO - he leaned up against me and reached around and poked his ultrasound probe all over my chest. It was uncomfortable, and I was covered in jelly when it was over. Which, now that I think about it, could describe some of my earliest sexual encounters. It looked kinda like the picture below, if the skinny guy was a fat guy, and the female technician was a Russian with no personality...


I go back in early December to get the results.

Model Hottie of the Day - Joseph Charles

No Project Runway Recap

There will be no Project Runway recap today for the following reasons:

1. I have to ton of "real" work to get done. And since business is way down at my place of employment, I have to work that much harder.
2. I have a cold - and am currently hawking up florescent green things.
3. I have my follow-up doctor's appointment today, which scares me to death.
4. I'M HONGRAY!! As a result of my doctor's appointment, I am not allowed to eat today (something about wanting to check my cholesterol). Those of you who know me know that I don't like to go for more than 2 hours without eating - let alone an entire day.
5. The dog ate my homework. Or something.

Depending upon how I feel, I may or may not write my recap tomorrow. However, I'm tending against it, since pretty much everyone hates this season and many of you have lost interest. Stay tuned...

Inked

Caleb Del Gatto

David Rosario

I have always loved men with tattoos. However, I am MUCH too squeamish to actually get one myself.

"I'll Take 'Things That Are Really Gay' For $200, Alex"

Here is a roundup of some extremely gay stuff that's been floating around on the innerwebz lately. First of all, I present to you the "Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken" doll. This is REAL:

Yes, Kenny comes with "jacket, pink polo shirt, white shoes, dog with leash, swim trunks and accessories". Natch. And probably season tickets to the opera and a standing Tuesday mani/pedi appointment. Obvs.

Secondly, we have American Idol runner-up Adam Lambert's upcoming album cover...

Wow. That is gayer than ... well ... just about EVERYTHING.

And, finally, in this little "Collection d'Homosexualité", I'd like to feature my personal obsession over Levi Johnston and his Moose Meat! Seriously, every other day there is a new story as to whether or not Levi will show his Johnston - and I read each account like it was another clue in an Agatha Christie mystery novel. This is IMPORTANT, people!!

The latest: YES to the Johnston. According to "Tank" (seriously), Levi's manager:

"Everything's gonna hang out. We're talking full johnson."

That makes me a VERY happy Gay...