Thursday, November 29, 2007

Project Runway - Episode 3 - "Fashion Giant"


Just when you thought Project Runway couldn’t get any gayer, they go ahead and gay it up a notch with an episode filled with HOT MALE BODIES!!! It was all about the eye candy last night.

Highlights and Lowlights:

The show opened with the requisite shirtless shots of Jack, and I have to say, he looks pretty damn good. Not my type, but definitely still hot. That was the first eye-candy of the night.

The challenge this week was to create an outfit for Tiki Barber to wear at his new job on the Today Show. Before becoming a TV personality, he was a Running Back for the New York Giants football team (hence, the episode title "Fashion Giant"). The funniest shit was the fact that NONE of these queens and NONE of the girls knew who the HELL Tiki Barber was. Ricky just knew he was “gorgeous” (more eye candy!). Oh, that’s right, “Straight Guy” Kevin knew about Tiki. Because, you know, he’s straight.

Tiki Barber


Tiki (who BTW was adorable), described the various pitfalls of designing clothing for him. Specifically, he mentioned his “thick neck”, “small waist”, and “big butt”. He’s also “not afraid of color”, and sometimes wears pink. Was he trolling for sex on Manhunt, or trying to get an outfit made?!? Don’t try so hard Baby! Just kidding, he’s all kinds of straight, and even his hot wife (picture a non-crazy version of Kimora Lee Simmons) made an appearance to give the designers some tips.

The big drama was the fact that most of the designers had never done menswear, which is much more difficult to create than women’s wear. Straight Guy had some experience doing menswear (but not MEN – he’s straight, remember?!), so did Chris, and Kit has worked as a stylist for television – but the rest of them were kind of screwed. It was like two meth-heads having sex – this shit was gonna get sloppy and take FOREVER.

Jack immediately ripped off his shorts (always the first to take his clothes off) and used them as a pattern for some flat-front pants. He let Victorya and Carmen use his pattern as well. Some of the other designers were NOT happy about this – particularly my girl Sweet P, and Rami.

“Mango” (Christian) stated that since being in the bottom two last week, he’s not as confident as he once was. But then he adds "I just know that I make clothes better than a lot of the other designers”. He also brags constantly about his fast sewing skills. Yes, Mango’s still a cocky bitch, no matter what he says.

Then we have the REAL eye candy – MALE MODELS!! Those boys walked into the workroom and the women and queens were gagging! But not Straight Guy because, you know, he’s straight.

Mango had the hottest model – named “David” (nice name!). Oh my goodness this boy was hot. And he even gave Mango a little hug before leaving the workroom after his first fitting. I would have designed nothing but a thong for darling David, and then followed up with multiple fittings…

Mango's model - David


Elisa is still a lunatic. She was a little freaked out by all the male models taking their clothes off in the work room. In fact, she averted her eyes anytime her model took anything off. She said she was “shy”, and her boyfriend is the “only male that I choose to touch”. This bitch will spit on her fabric, but she won’t feel up a strapping young male model?!? CRAZY!

I have fallen SO out of love with Ricky. What a nasty queen!! The first thing he said to his adorable model was – “take your clothes off”. No “please”, no “I’ll buy you dinner”, no "come here often?", just “take your clothes off”! I’m sure that’s also the first thing he said to Jack after partnering on last week’s challenge.

Ricky then proceeded to tell his model that he was too busy to talk to him. His model was pretty cool about everything – I would have hit Ricky in the mouth. But the kicker was, when Ricky was WAY behind in finishing his design he asked his model to SEW ON BUTTONS! The model should have told that short little hat-wearing bitch to sew his own damn buttons!

Carmen was a train wreck. She didn’t even have time to make a shirt, so she used a scarf-like piece of fabric to make a fake shirt to wear under her HORRIBLE Member’s Only-Esque jacket. It was not cute.

The runway show was pretty bad, only a few of the designers had created wearable and complete looks. Jack did a simple pinstriped dress pant, and patterned shirt, and Kit had a nice look with a fleece jacket and khakis. The rest were either not finished (like Ricky, who had visible stick pins in his outfit because he didn’t finish sewing), or boring (Chris did all black – zzzzzzzzzzzz).

After the judges chatted, it came down to Jack and Kit as the best, and Ricky and Carmen on the bottom (Ricky is a bottom – again!). Jack won, and Tiki said he will be wearing the outfit on an upcoming Today Show appearance.

In the end, Carmen’s lack of a shirt, and overall horrible look did her in – she went home. Ricky lives to cry another day (which he did – AGAIN – in the green room after almost being eliminated). I am SO over him…

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hilarious - and right on target!

Anonymous said...

came over from best week ever...cute wrap up!

Candy said...

I saw him this morning on the Today show in that outfit. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

David Dust said...

Candy - I totally agree!

Lauren - SCS said...

Mango? I love it! Great recap. I will throw you link love next week! You're fab! For memorable quotes visit: http://secondcitystyle.typepad.com/second_city_style/2007/11/project-runwa-1.html

Lauren -Second City Style

jaime said...

oh my god - Mango! he so is!!

this wrap-up made me bust out laughing - at work. thank you.

earleearleearle said...

Thanks, but your assessments are way better! I'm glad someone else agrees that Ricky and his trucker dominatrix caps gotta go.

claudine hellmuth said...

totally on the nose. love your write up. Mango! You are SO RIGHT! Did you see him being carried by Jack (I think it was Jack) in the shopping bag?

David Dust said...

Yes, Jack carried Mango around in a tote bag. "Look Mom, I picked up a nice mango at the Fruit Stand!".

Sam said...

My favorite model was unfortunately paired with Carmen. Poor Yaniv: So beautiful, so badly treated...

-sam

Kenrya said...

Thanks for the love, David. But your post is so fucking funny. Mango!? It's a good thing everyone in publishing is weird, or folks would be wondering why I'm on the floor right now.

Meeg said...

Ricky's hats are so annoying. They make him look like an organ-grinder's monkey.

And Elisa was kind of her weird with her "I choose not to touch any man but my boyfriend" thing. Is it just me or is that a couple of steps away from wearing a chador?

David Dust said...

Can a Chador be polymorphic?

jumpin said...

don't be so hard on ricky...i met him last week when he was visiting chicago and he was a total sweetheart--was joking around about how they're making him look like all he does is cry. true, he wasn't at his best last night, but i suspect there was some seriously selective editing going on there. and hey--at least his model was actually wearing a shirt! :-)

maxthegirl said...

I LOL'ed over Mango. Christian is the most portable designer ever!!!

Rosemarie said...

I loved your entry, Mango made me crack up (as it did everyone else)! Thanks for visiting my blog.

fashion evolution said...

Loved your commentary on the show, defintely a fun read!

smoochie said...

Wow, I named him Mango (and Azriel) in Week 1 on the EW site! You stole my Mango and EW stole my naming the Cheetah girl Cheetoh. When am I gonna get paid for this stuff (or at least some credit)?

David Dust said...

Smoochie darling - I called Mango during episode one as well. Please see my first PR post.

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