I sat down and watched the premiere of American Gladiators last night – all TWO HOURS of it. All I can say is – some things from the 80’s should NEVER be brought back.
I was watching mainly to catches glimpses of Militia (Alex Castro) and Toa (Tanoai Reed). Imagine my excitement when during the VERY FIRST men’s challenge, Militia is announced as the competing Gladiator. Imagine my disappointment when after about 20 seconds, Milita got hurt and left the competition – NEVER TO BE SEEN OR HEARD FROM AGAIN. If that papi is like ANY of the macho, straight-ish Latino men I’ve messed around with over the years, he’s probably STILL with his mother, who’s telling him that he’s the most handsome man in the world, and forcing him to eat arroz con pollo. SUCH babies…
At least we got to see a lot of Toa. In fact, after one scuffle, Toa actually kissed one of the “regular” challengers on the forehead. Not in a loving way, more to piss the guy off. But hell, if that was me I would have taken what I could get. Toa really IS a stone cold fox, if you can get past the crazy act, miniskirt, and eye makeup.
The other male Glads were tired. “Wolf” looked dirty, “Titan” looked like a bottle-blond gym queen (he even called the referee “Big Daddy” at one point), and the show also features your standard issue large intimidating black men.
I was watching mainly to catches glimpses of Militia (Alex Castro) and Toa (Tanoai Reed). Imagine my excitement when during the VERY FIRST men’s challenge, Militia is announced as the competing Gladiator. Imagine my disappointment when after about 20 seconds, Milita got hurt and left the competition – NEVER TO BE SEEN OR HEARD FROM AGAIN. If that papi is like ANY of the macho, straight-ish Latino men I’ve messed around with over the years, he’s probably STILL with his mother, who’s telling him that he’s the most handsome man in the world, and forcing him to eat arroz con pollo. SUCH babies…
At least we got to see a lot of Toa. In fact, after one scuffle, Toa actually kissed one of the “regular” challengers on the forehead. Not in a loving way, more to piss the guy off. But hell, if that was me I would have taken what I could get. Toa really IS a stone cold fox, if you can get past the crazy act, miniskirt, and eye makeup.
The other male Glads were tired. “Wolf” looked dirty, “Titan” looked like a bottle-blond gym queen (he even called the referee “Big Daddy” at one point), and the show also features your standard issue large intimidating black men.
This Wolf needs a bath
Miss Titan is working the spandex and the bleach-blond hairOh, and there are also women on the show. I have one word to sum up the whole “female” side of American Gladiators….LESBIANS. Honey, there hasn’t been a show this lesbionic since Xena: Warrior Princess.
I’m not so sure I’ll be watching American Gladiators regularly…especially if my papi Militia is still with his Moms.
I’m not so sure I’ll be watching American Gladiators regularly…especially if my papi Militia is still with his Moms.
3 comments:
David - what would we do without your television commentary?!? I laughed so hard I think I actually peed a little. Woops.
I saw the show too - very disappointing.
tonight's episode was a lot better. i was rooting for "big country." oh well.
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