God Told Him To Quit (During A Recession)

The Right Wingnutosphere is ecstatic about Albert Thompson (above) - a personal banker at Chevy Chase Bank in Virginia. Mr. Thompson became upset by his bank's new policy of accepting Mexican consulate I.D. cards to open new accounts, instead of the usual social security card/number.

So Albert prayed to the Baby Jeebus (seriously), and guess what?!? The Sweet Baby Jeebus told him to QUIT HIS JOB. Because God obviously hates Mexicans - especially the ones who may have tricked the Mexican consulate into providing them with fake identification. In Mr. Thompson's Bible, there is a special place in Hell for undocumented workers - right between the child molesters and the blasphemers.

So the extremely stupid (but devout) Mr. Thompson quit his bank job in the middle of a banking meltdown and recession. Dumbass.

Seriously Dude - WTF?? Why do you give a crap if someone who has money and has approved identification wants to deposit said money into your bank? I may not be a banker, but it seems to me that more money in your bank = a good thing. And what does religion have to do with any of this?

I certainly hope you don't apply for unemployment benefits. Because I heard the Baby Jeebus hates lazy welfare recipients almost as much as he hates Mexicans.

Read more about this dumbassery from Joe.My.God HERE.

Sally Kern Is A Dirty Road Whore

"I've done a lot of reading on this. I wish I could describe to you their behavior. I will not because I would be redder than this suit. It's their behavior that we oppose. This theme of equality and freedom is the approach that the homosexuals are using today - totally perverting the true intention of what our Constitution meant. ... The homosexuals get it - it's a struggle between our religious freedoms and their right to do what they want to do.

"The solution is another Great Awakening, folks. We need a spiritual revival, and that will only come if God's people, especially you pastors, will stand in your pulpits and vocally preach the word of God and thus declare the Lord this sin, and preach it in love, only then does our nation have a chance of overcoming the scourge of AIDS, HIV and the devastating destruction that the homosexual lifestyle is bringing on your children and our grandchildren."

Oklahoma politician, and confirmed Dirty Road Whore, Sally Kern, speaking to the John Birch Society, a conservative wingnut group of conspiracy theorists. From Joe.My.God.

Ladies and Gentlemen ...

... The President of the United States of America - Barack H. Obama. God Bless America.

Feel free to share your feelings about today (and your opinions of Aretha's hat) in the comments. I am at work and have been watching on my computer (MSNBC) - and crying - A LOT ... What a wonderful day.

UPDATE: The Right Wing is NOT happy today. Michelle Malkin - one of the leading voices/bloggers in Wingnutistan, has a blog post entitled "Obamamedia Orgy Watch". Her crazy commenters are going bonkers in response to the inauguration of our new President. Here is one of my favorites:

Puke. Liberals have already succeeded in undermining the foundations of this country. The tide is overwhelming and the descent in American power and prosperity will now accelerate. Some may realize their mistake but it will be too late. We are so screwed.

Or this one:

Just goes to show you how utterly foolish the masses can be. They have no idea how bad the country can become

Yeah - if the Republicans had someone stayed in power, this country would be WELL on its way to prosperity again. Dumbasses.

Free Abortion Doughnuts!!

Krispy Kreme is celebrating Inauguration Day by offering a "free doughnut of choice to every customer on this historic day".

Of course the Right Wing idiots are going batshit crazy because of the use of the word "choice". They say that Krispy Kreme is promoting abortion ("freedom of choice"). Read the story from Joe.My.God. HERE.

So when you finish your delicious free Krispy Kreme Doughnut today - and you are licking the warm sugar off your dirty, liberal fingers - what you are actually doing is celebrating unborn fetuses.

Fucktardalicious!!!

Camp?!? I LOVE Camping!!!

"Pastor" Steve Kern (husband of Oklahoma homophobe Sally Kern) has a solution for this country's gay problem:

"We have to get rid of that and start curing those sinners. It’s past time that this nation stopped placating sin and start putting them in education programs. Courts can force drug offenders into treatment centers and violent people into anger management. There’s no reason our courts can’t do that with homos."

Yeeeeeaaaaaaaaahhhhh .... CAMP!!! Complete with naked hiking, weenie roasts, theme parties ... and GAS CHAMBERS???? Fun!!

Read more from Joe.My.God HERE. BTW - there are rumors that Steve and Sally have a gay son - a claim they have denied.

I have something to say to Stevie and Sally: Ignorance can be cured - but stupid is forever.

AssHat-apedia

Conservapedia is the Right Wing's answer to Wikipedia - where God-fearing, true Ammurikans can get the 'TRUTH', without having to rely on the "liberal media". If it wasn't so (unintentionally) hysterical, it would really piss me off. Their motto: The Truth Shall Set You Free. Barf.

For starters, here is the first paragraph on their Barack Obama entry (emphasis mine):

Barack Hussein Obama II (allegedly born in Honolulu, August 4, 1961) served as a first-term Democratic Senator from Illinois (2004-2008) and then, along with his running mate Senator Joseph Biden, won the presidential election after twenty-three months of campaigning, raising and spending an unprecedented $650 million, most of which came from anonymous donors. An apparent Muslim, Obama could use the Koran when he is sworn into office.

WOW- tell me more!!! Read the entire masterpiece of fuckery HERE.

See Ya In Hell, Bitches!!

This right-wing lunatic has told her followers if they vote for Obama they are disobeying God and will go to Hell. Seriously.

To all those who name the name of Christ who plan to willfully disobey Him by voting for Obama, take warning. Not only is our nation in grave danger, according to the Word of God, so are you ... [T]his election is not about race. It's not about the economy. It's about obeying God.

Read more about her asshattery HERE. I guess there will be lots of Dust Bunnies in Hell.

Gay-Haters Winning CA Prop 8 Battle!

The anti-gay crusaders are currently ahead in California. From Joe.My.God:

The poll conducted for CBS 5 by SurveyUSA indicates that support for the measure to ban gay marriage has grown among voters in the state over an eleven day period — most especially among young voters. According to the poll, likely California voters overall now favor passage of Proposition 8 by a five-point margin, 47 percent to 42 percent. Ironically, a CBS 5 poll eleven days prior found a five-point margin in favor of the measure's opponents.

It doesn't help matters that these bigots have outraised us - $25.4 million to $15.8 million. If you live in California, or know anyone who does - please help spread the word - VOTE NO ON PROP 8.

Go to NoOnProp8.com to donate and/or volunteer.