Friday, September 2, 2011

Project Runway 9 - Ep 6 - Go Weird Or Go Home

On last week’s episode of Project Runway, Josh Eyebrows and Evil Bert acted like total bitches. The end

This week - it’s early morning at the Atlas Apartments and the fashiontestants have decided to play nice. Even Bert. After all … over-the-top wickedness can be EXHAUSTING

The designers head over to the runway, where Heidi gives them a bunch of “back to school” metaphors. Anthony-Ryan predicts that they’ll be designing for students or teachers – but I’m praying for "red-carpet looks for Cafeteria Ladies". 

The fashiontestants leave Parsons and head up to the Harlem School of the Arts. There, they are greeted by Tim, a couple of school officials, and a group of adorable student artists. The challenge this week will be to create a work of art with the student they are paired with – and then create an avant-garde look that is inspired by these works of art. 

Viktor, upon seeing the children, immediately wishes he had a cocktail. Then, when he meets his student – Skyy – he REALLY gets thirsty for the hard stuff. Skyy, it seems, is a force of nature that’s best dealt with while inebriated – like Hurricane Irene. 

The designers bond with their students while creating their works of art. Skyy is already designing Viktor’s dress; Kai – who is working with Laura – is giving her advice like a teenage Dear Abby. And Sasha – who’s paired with Josh C. – says that she’ll cry “every time they say something negative” about Josh’s work. Honey, you’re gonna need a lot of Kleenex. 

The students depart, and it’s sketching/Mood time. During this period, we find out the SHOCKING news that Josh Eyebrows “likes stuff that’s fake.” Hence his skin tone and personality. 

After Mood, the designers head back to the workroom and unload their fabrics. Highlights: 

· Viktor looks around the room and sees a lot of faux fur, feathers, and fugliness – and decides to talk stank about it. I guess he didn’t get the “Why Can’t We All Just Get Along” memo from this morning. 

· Josh Eyebrows lost his Mom to cancer. Josh Eyebrows also doesn't THINK he’d “be here today” without his late mother. Someone needs to ‘splain to Josh Eyebrows the whole mother/father/childbirth thing. And YES, I feel badly that he lost his Mom - honestly, I’m not that cruel (yes I am)

· Speaking of Eyebrows – after yelling a screaming at her last week, he gets all up in Becky’s grill and wants to see what she’s creating for this challenge. Then he proceeds to tell us that his bitchiness and screeching at her last week just might prompt Becky to create something decent THIS week. Eyebrows is a GIVER – I’m telling ya.

Day #1 is over – and the designers head back to the Atlas Apartments. The talk in both the apartments that night is Josh C’s look – which was inspired by an incredible painting of a wolf. I’m predicting his garment will end up looking something like this… 

It’s now Day #2 in the workroom: 

· If Project Runway was a “Stare At Your Mannequin” competition, or a “Chew Your Nails” competition – Olivier would most definitely be the winner. 

· Tim warns Kimberly – who’s working with feathers – not to have a Hiawatha/Take Me To Geronimo moment. I, on the other hand, have always adored that look… 

· … especially on a Diva. 

· Becky has decided to do a denim gown with fabric cubes on the shoulder. Let that sink in a little bit … a DENIM GOWN with FABRIC CUBES. Maybe Eyebrows needs to yell at her some more. 

· Speaking of Eyebrows … he is calling his design “Toxic Tree”. That’s not a joke, I’m being FOREALZ. Yep, a Toxic Tree Dress … available at the Toxic Oaktree store in a Toxic Mall near you. 

· Bert’s design = Sponge Bert Big Pants

Josh C … poor Josh C can’t seem to get his wolf costume avant-garde look right. But there's something else that’s been bothering me this whole episode about Josh. He reminds me of someone, but I can’t figure out who… 

And then it hit me … Josh C is just a mustache away from being Tobias Funke from Arrested Development!!! 

I wonder if Josh C is also a nevernude? 

Day 2 ends, and Runway Day begins. The designers/models do the hair and makeup thing and then head down to the runway, where they get to watch the runway show with their students. 

Heidi introduces the judges this week: Michael Kor(ange)s, Zanna Roberts Rossi (one of Nina Friggin Garcia’s underlings from Marie Claire), and Kenneth Cole. 

Let’s start the show. 

Ok, I ain’t gonna lie … I saw a lot of fug on that runway. We had “Insane Little Mermaid” from Bryce… 

There was Kimberly’s "Funky Chicken"… 

And we also saw Becky’s DENIM GOWN with Fungus on the shoulder… 

But believe it or not, all three of them were SAFE … along with Viktor and Anya. 

The top three: 

· Josh Eyebrows “Toxic Tree”. 

· Laura’s “Ode to Scarlett O’Hara via Christian Soriano” 

· Anthony-Ryan’s “Ode to an Unsupervised Baby, A Wall, and a Box of Crayons” 

The bottom three: 

· Tobias Funke Josh C’s Victorian French Cocktail Waitress Maid Pole Dancer at the New York New York Casino In Vegas. 

· Bert’s red carpet look for a Teletubbie. But certainly not the gay Teletubbie - Tinkly Winkly (or whatever his name is) wouldn't be caught DEAD in that mess.

· Olivier’s sad, boring, “Valium clothes”. 


Anthony-Ryan is the winner. Eyebrows, Laura and Bert are safe. 

Bottom two are Josh C and Olivier – and Josh C is out. Again. 

Perhaps the Blue Man Group is hiring?? 

So what did YOU think of last night’s episode? Please dish in the comments… 



froggy said...

Bert’s design = Sponge Bert Big Pants.


I liked the inclusion of the Harlem School of the Arts. A challenge without a sponsor's product!

Next week we may all develop Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.

Joy said...

Hilarious, hilarious, hilarious!!! Sponge Bert Big Pants!!! Exactly! WTF was that all about? Wow. At least Bert was better this week. I'm liking him again and thought his niceness would signal the end of him. His design almost did! Heidi liked it?

The way the judges talked, I thought Eyebrows Josh would win. Surprise!

This is an odd group. Next week looks horrendous! Maybe Post Traumatic Dress Syndrome, Froggy!

Excellent again, David!! xoxoxoxxo

Sam said...

Sis you kill me Ho.

Tivo Mom said...

I like that Bert was able to be a little human this week. Outfit = crazy shit but at least I did not hate him. Is it just me or is anyone else underwhelmed this year? Avant Garde = boring this year. Just saying! Loved the recap as always my friend.

eric3000 said...

Josh C. totally blue himself on this challenge! LOL!

kayce. said...

OMG TOBIAS ~ you're a fricking genius david lolllll! i wonder if it's too late for josh c. to begin work in the burgeoning field of analrapistry?

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