Television Chatter

So I got managed to see some of The Fashion Show last night - and was happy to see Jeffrey win. Didn't see Calvin's collection, but the looks they showed at the end of the episode had me worried that Madame Chiang Kai-BLECK might just win. But Jeffrey managed to create The Ultimate Collection - and the others (including Calvin?!?!!) seemed truly happy for him.

I also managed to catch most of the first episode of RuPaul's Drag Race online. JEEBUS - that show is truly fantabulastical in every way:

And, finally, I tuned into some of the President's State of the Union address last night. It seems that President Obama is getting high marks for his words, however Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg rated it a big "ZZZZZZZZ"

What have YOU been watching??


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The Fashion Show Ep. 9 - BRAAAAAAIIIINSS!!!

Last time on The Fashion Show, consistent winner Eduardo was sent home – leaving Cesar, Dominique, Jeffrey and Calvin Tranny to compete for the three places in the finale.

This week everyone is missing Eduardo, and the usual note is slipped under the door – instructing the Fashiontestents to head over to the Chelsea Piers. Once there, Iman informs them that they will be taking a boat ride to experience the elements (Earth, Air and Water) – which will serve as their inspiration this week. Which is about as standard a fashion reality show challenge as there is. Could it be that the producers of The Fashion NO are as “over” this show as the rest of us are?

The two Houses will compete against each other for the final time (Nami: Calvin/Dominique; Emerald: Jeffrey/Cesar) and the winning House will go to the finale AND receive…

Tell them what they’ll win, Rod Roddy:

(Link) View more Bob Barker Sound Clips and Price Is Right Announcer Sound Clips

Anywhore, they get on the boat and sketch and let the wind blow the stank off for a while. Speaking of stank, Calvin is psyched about the challenge because apparently he's some kind of Feng Shui Master. Which is puzzling, since Feng Shui is the practice of positioning objects in order to achieve maximum harmony. It seems that if one of the objects in a room is Calvin’s mouth, then there's usually lots of disharmony. Is all I'm sayin'.

After Mr. and Mrs. Howell, Mary Anne and Ginger finish their One Hour Tour, they head to the workroom for Mood Boards and sketching. Calvin is obviously in charge of Team Nami – rambling on about “Ancient Chinese Secrets” and such. Ancient Chinese Secret, huh??...

I know better - I watched TV in the 70's.

Cesar and Jeffrey are “like sisters” and are working as a true team. They also have the advantage of being able to use a vintage accessory because of Jeffrey’s win last week. Being a true Queen (albeit a virgin one), Jeffrey chose a jeweled crown to incorporate into their collection.

Calvin and Dominique, on the other hand, are working as a dictatorship, with Calvin playing the role of Emperor Palpatine and Dominique as his evil apprentice - Darth Giggles.

Isaac consults with both Houses – and spouts off a bunch of high fallutin’, fancy references that none of the Fashiontestants understand. Speaking of incomprehensible – Calvin’s “vision” for the House of Nami’s show involves snow, bare feet and sounds of the elements. If they REALLY wanted to go all elemental – they could use the universal sound of climbing snow-capped mountains…

(Link) View more Cliffhanger Sound Clips and On The Franches Mountains Sound Clips

The designers head to NotMood for fabric and then back to the workroom. As the day progresses, Calvin becomes more and more confident – but inexplicably transforms from Emperor Palpatine to Hong Kong Phooey, complete with Kung Fu kicks.

Day One ends and Day Two begins – and back in the workroom Dominique is starting to smile. I guess Calvin DOES know some Ancient Chinese Secrets. The models come in for fittings and for the first time we see Calvin’s pregnancy dress – which is really weird. But Calvin spews some gibberish about women and birth and earth and the source of life – and, like a good Apprentice, Dominique doesn’t question her Master.

Both Houses line up their looks and say not-so-nice things about the other teams – before finishing up for the day.

Fashion Show day is here and everyone scurries around backstage while the audience arrives. Guest judging this week are Gilles Mendel of J. Mendel and Glenda Bailey, the head-biatch-in-charge of Harper’s Bazaar.

The House of Emerald show first – and they send a flowy and light collection of dresses down the runway. Cesar and Jeffrey seem very happy with the results.

Up next – the House of Nami. Let’s see … how do I describe this show??? Okay… take one part Zombie movie:

Add a touch of the creepy girl from The Ring

And sprinkle in a little of Michael Jackson’s Thriller (without the choreography, music or the King of Pop):

And that is what the House of Nami’s show looked like:

See what I mean? The shoeless models slowly crept down the cotton ball-covered runway like they were in search of BRAAAAIIINS – and the audience actually looked uncomfortable. It was at that moment when I got the feeling Calvin and Dominique would win for this hot Zombie mess.

But of course the judges had to make it look like Calvin and Dominique might lose. They particularly hated Calvin’s pregnancy dress – with Isaac saying the model didn’t look pregnant, she looked “malignant”. Glenda Bailey said it looked like an advertisement for back pain medication. Trust me, not even Doan’s Pills wants anything to do with this mess. Furthermore, Ms. Bailey remarked that the models looked like they were mad because someone stole their shoes. No darling, they were mad because they were undead zombies who crawled out of the TV set in search of brains – and apparently found none among an entire sea of fashionistas.

On the other hand, the judges also had issues with the House of Emerald. They hated The Virgin Queen’s Crown, and also both Cesar’s and Jeffrey’s looks with jackets.

Time for the results. And the winner is … ZOMBIES!!! I knew it.

That’s right – Calvin and Dominique will go to the finale AND they win new cars. Tell us what else we have for them:

(Link) View more Bob Barker Sound Clips and Price Is Right Announcer Sound Clips

This means either Cesar or Jeffrey will be going home. But in an interesting twist, the judges send both backstage for an additional 45 minutes so they can revise their least successful looks. They scurry around – both ditching the unsuccessful jackets and trying to come up with something the judges will like.

After 45 minutes, Cesar and Jeffrey bring out their updated designs. The judges will write down the name of the person they think should win – at which time Jeff Probst will tally the votes and one Survivor’s torch will be extinguished and he will be asked to leave the Tribal Council area immediately. Or something.

Iman Probst reads the votes – and the third person to go to the finale will be …

Sorry Cesar, the tribe has spoken.

And, on his way out the door - after collecting his consolation prize of a year's supply of Turtle Wax - poor Cesar was haunted by a constant and familiar sound. A sound of sadness … a sound of LOSING:

(Link) View more Yes Sound Clips and The Price Is Right Losing Horns Sound Clips

So, with the three finalists established, I leave you with these words of advice from a very wise man:

(Link) View more Bob Barker Sound Clips and The Price Is Right Quotes and Sound Clips

What did YOU think of last night's episode??? Tell us in the comments - or I'll come eat your BRAAAAAIIIINS!!!



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Tonight on The Fashion Show

And then there were four. Cesar, Jeffrey, Dominique and the evil Calvin Tranny remain - but only three of them will make it to the finale.

This weeks challenge is the standard "Use the elements as your inspiration" - check out a preview:

 

Don't forget to watch The Fashion NO: Ultimate Crimes of Fashion tonight on Bravo (10 pm EST) - and look for my recap sometime tomorrow afternoon.

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Last Night on The Fashion Show - Do-It-Yourself Recap

Not only am I not recapping The Fashion Show: Ultimate Collie Crap this week, I didn't even watch it. For the first time since having pneumonia in June, I can feel a cold coming on - so I was in bed by 9:30 pm. However, I perused the innerwebz this morning and found out who was sent home - and it doesn't make me too happy.

Assignment: Feel free to do a little recapping of your own in the comments. Give me highlights/lowlights or just rag on Calvin - whatever you want to do. Remember, the ONLY thing I know about last night's episode is who was sent home - so talk to me...

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Tonight on The Fashion Show

Tonight's episode of The Fashion Show: Ultimate Colic features the fabulous Simon Doonan of Barneys - you can check out previews from Blogging Bravo HERE. However, I won't be able to recap due to personal and work commitments. Tomorrow morning I'll do a "Talk Amongst Yourselves" post so you can have at it.

SPOILER ALERT: Based on the previews, this week's editing makes Calvin look almost human (ALMOST). Which isn't easy - especially after LAST WEEK.

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The Fashion Show Ep. 7 - Lardasses of the Rings

Last time on The Fashion Show: Ultimate Collection of Douchenozzles, David was sent home and Dominique had a sadd. Actually, she still has a sadd – and spends her nights weeping in David’s old bed. Srsly. 

The fashiontestants are summoned downtown to an event space which was some kind of house of worship in a past life. The six remaining designers are greeted by Iman, who is standing beside a tuxedo-wearing midget holding a velvet bag. 

Iman informs the designers that they won’t be working as houses this week – but as “couples”. Everyone immediately has a Dominique-esque sadd, because no one wants to work with Calvin. Calvin has a sadd too, because “these people are a f*(king nightmare”. That's right Calvin, it’s not you, it’s THEM. 

The midget with the bag, it turns out, isn’t a midget at all – he’s actually a Hobbit ring-bearer carrying 6 Magic Rings. Each designer must pull out a ring from the bag, pair up, and then take their rings to Mordor and throw them into the fires of Mount Doom before Gollum/Calvin can reclaim his “Precious” and live forever. Or something. 

Rings are pulled and poor Cindy ends up with Gollum…

Dominique is paired with Jeffrey and Eduardo is paired with Cesar. Cindy briefly considers throwing HERSELF into the fires of Mount Doom so she doesn’t have to deal with Calvin – moaning “Why Me?!?” 

Iman informs the Fellowship of the Silk Charmeuse that their challenge this week will be to create “wedding looks” for gay couples.

Eduardo/Cesar and Dominique/Jeffrey will work with 2 cute lesbian couples – and Gollum/Cindy will work with adorable gay male couple. Sounds wonderful, right?? 

Well, not so much. At this point we get the first of about 5,000 different quips about how “big” the gay couple is – mostly from Calvin. And let me tell you – if they are “big” then I’m Jabba the Hutt’s fat cousin with the slow metabolism and a thyroid condition. 

At first I was like “Oh this is GREAT – I can really put the stank on Calvin for being such a nasty “unt-cay” (ya’ll DO speak Pig Latin, right??) toward these two adorable gay boys". But the “fat” remarks just kept coming and coming and coming – and this is where my recap turns into a rant… 

I found most of this episode offensive on so many levels. Calvin was SUCH an insufferable bitch to his clients – ignoring and belittling one man’s Korean heritage, constantly complaining about how fat they were, and generally acting like a repulsive, oozing pimple on the ass of Satan. I thought FOR SURE Calvin was going home. How could he remain after acting so horribly??? 

Isaac wasn’t much better - making quips about how “different” it was to be working with “thin lesbians” and “bigger homosexuals” (because all lesbians are fat and all gay men are fit and trim) – as well as giggling at Calvin’s fat jokes. It reminded me of how much I hated Isaac last season. 

Cindy didn’t win any points in my book either – saying she had issues with the whole gay marriage thing because she was “raised Catholic” – where marriage is between one man and one woman. How about one priest and many young boys?? 

There was just so much negativity during this episode that I can’t possible write an entertaining recap about it. You know ME – I can sometimes turn around a boring and/or uneventful episode and create a mildly entertaining recap. But a REPULSIVE episode?? I don’t think so. You can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still just Sarah Palin wearing lipstick. 

In the end, Cindy loses – which really wasn’t fair. Cindy was the only one who had to make true menswear (yes, two of the lesbians wanted boyish clothes,but it was still womenswear - and Calvin made a Korean-inspired gown for his guy). PLUS Cindy had to work with that disgusting piece of trash know as Calvin Tran – which, at best, would be distracting. And at worst would drive a person to murder. At least it would have been that way with me. 

But what do I know – I’m just a fat queen, so my feelings obviously shouldn’t count. 

Final Note: Judging by Iman's sweet and concerned reaction to Cindy's departure, I have a feeling the producers had a HUGE hand in making sure Calvin remained to stink up the joint for another week. Which makes this episode even MORE disgusting.

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Don't Forget: The Fashion Show Returns Tonight

Don't forget to watch The Fashion Show: Ultimate Collection of Crap tonight on Bravo at 10 pm EST. This week's episode features Rachel Zoe and Johnny Weir judging a Gay Wedding Challenge. SPOILER ALERT: Calvin acts like an insufferable biatch who everyone hates. Ok ... that's not really a spoiler, just an educated guess.

Check out previews HERE - and look for some sort of recap tomorrow afternoon.

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Calvin Tran Is Evil

Calvin Tran(ny) from The Fashion Show: Ultimate Colo-rectal Exam is a MESS. Check out this short clip from last night's show ... and wait for the evil laugh at the end (via Dlisted):

He Sees You When You're Tweeting

Speaking of Twitter - join me at 10 pm EST for cocktails and stank talk during The Fashion Show: Ultimate Constipation tonight on Bravo.

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The Fashion Show Ep. 5 - "Don't Has a Sad, Has a Happee!"

Last time on The Fashion Show, stuff happened but it was two weeks ago and I can’t remember what that stuff was. Hell, at this age I can’t remember what I had for lunch unless I floss my teeth and examine the evidence.

This week on The Fashion NO – Dominique has a sad, and the last episode is slowly starting to come back to me. Dominique had to speak up for her man - the undoubtedly cute but questionably heterosexual David – after he was too wussy to stick up for himself in front of the judges. This made Dominique all …

David thinks Dominique is upset about their teammate Ro going home – not because David probably likes peen more than he likes Dominique.

The usual cheesy note is slipped under the door, instructing the Fashiontestants to report to the swanky Upper East Side.

They arrive at Restaurant Daniel and adorable Eduardo notices that it looks “berry spensive”. That one’s a regular Agatha Christie (by way of Ricky Ricardo), isn’t he?

Inside, Isaac explains that Daniel is the place where upper-crusty rich biatches go to discuss couture and society balls and gigolos and shizz. This week the designers will be creating gowns for a “high society charity ball” for some “out of town” “real clients".

  

The “clients” this week, as we all know, are Bravo’s HouseHo’s – the New Jersey clan and the Orange County branch. I’ve watched the Jersey ones (I really miss Carmela Soprano, what can I say?) – but not the Orange County HouseHos. Question: Are you required to actually BE orange to live in Orange County?? I thought Michael Kor(ange)s grew up in Long Island??

Anyprostitutionwhores, the House of Emerald gets to pick which HouseHos to work with since they won last week – and they choose the Orange chicks. This leaves the House of Nami dealing with the refined ladies of the Garden State. 

The designers meet with their clients for air-kissing, idea swapping, and measurement-taking. The House of Emerald is basically told by the House of Orange County that they would like to be naked – but in a classy way. All fake body parts must be on display at all times – forever and ever. Amen.

The House of Nami, on the other hand – is told what the ladies want covered up. After all, these New Jersey Housewives are the epitome of modesty and class. This is until you mess with their family, then it’s all …

… and …

… and …

DON’T.MESS.WITH.THE.FAMILY.

David, that notorious lover of vajayjays, mentions that Caroline has the same build as his mother. Please don’t be surprised when they find his decomposed (but still adorable) corpse somewhere in the New Jersey marshlands. Calvin is working with Teresa – and even though both are clinically insane, there has been no shouting of “PROSTITUTION WHORE-UH” or table-flipping … yet. Also, neither of them can pronounce “silk charmeuse”, so at least they have something in common.

It’s time for Isaac consultations and Mood Boards. Here is this week’s Mood Board for House of Nami/New Jersey …

Unsurprisingly, the teammates can’t seem to come together about color, design and cohesion – and the ever-perceptive David mentions again that poor Dominique is still upset about Ro leaving. That one really knows how to read women, doesn’t he?

The House of Emerald/Orange County presents THEIR Mood Board to Isaac …

They decide on using gold and champagne tones – because gold is all classy and shizz – like their clients.

The designers go to NotMood for fabric shopping, and then to the workroom to begin creating their masterpieces.

Cesar, who ends up with Ashley as his client, mentions about 5,000 times that Ashley has REAL boobs, and he has to strap those puppies down because real boobs move a lot. Or something. Sorry, not my area of expertise.

Golnessa is paired with Gretchen – who, naturally, wants to show off her (unnatural) boobs. Unfortunately Golnessa doesn’t “drape, cut or sew” very well (according to Cesar), which sounds like a big problem on a show which requires you to drape, cut and sew on the regular.

David remarks (again) that Caroline Manzo is “big-chested” and short. And Dominique mentions (again) how she and David just “get each other” – which is a “distraction”. And, again, she’s all …

Dominique is REALLY going to be upset when David is last spotted on the Manzo family boat off the coast of Long Branch, NJ.

Day One ends and Day Two begins – with client fittings scheduled at 3:00 pm. Jeffrey’s client, Lynne, reacts to his dress by saying “wow” and “I never wore that color before” (not a good sign). Then Lynne demands that he remove most of fabric. Jeffrey agrees, although he privately grumbles about his dress formerly being “modest and elegant” and now it’s, um, NOT.

Gretchen likes her dress so much that she does a little bounce in it, which rips out the side of the gown. Golnessa remarks that either the dress shrunk or Gretchen grew, and decides to add another strip of fabric in order to fix it. When Golnessa’s buddy Cindy sees her Ms. Fixit job, she remarks that it looks like a “side vajayjay”. David, undoubtedly, will be repulsed  THRILLED by this.

Calvin completely finishes not one but TWO dresses for refined lady Teresa – but she can’t decide which one she likes better. On one hand there’s the dress which makes her look like a tramp, and on the other hand there’s the one which makes her look like a tramp from Scores. Scores, for those of you not from around NYC, is a “gentleman’s club” that may or may not be controlled by the Gambino Crime family. What a coinky dink!! Naturally, she picks the Scores dress – family obligations, dontcha know.

Cut to Dominique, who is all …

… because David’s dress is an ugly horrible green (he decided to go with the color of cold hard cash – which he thought Caroline would respond to) and he might be going home. Dominique literally has to leave the room “to get some air” because she is so upset about this. DEAR DANIELLE – HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU. Trust me honey.

Eduardo, with his adorable accent and vast knowledge of gown-making, suggests to David that he cover up that mess with some chiffon and make it look more 'spensive. This improvement might at least buy enough time for David to get out of the metropolitan area before Caroline makes that phone call … “Hey Big Lou, this is Caroline Manzo. Howyoodoin? Listen carefully: We’re gonna need some more concrete for that ‘paving job’ I told you about. Meet me at the usual place and bring the guy with the thing. I’ll call you from the pay phone in a half hour”.

The judges and audience arrives for the show. The lights come up and the House of Emerald shows first. The ladies of Orange County strut their stuff onstage and seem to do a good job. This makes Dominique all like …

Seriously honey, you need to get that checked.

It’s now time for the Real HouseHos of New Joisey to show the plastic orange ladies how it’s done. They perform a Garden State homage to Madonna’s Vogue ("big-haired ladies with an attitude") and actually look pretty fantastic. All of a sudden the House of Emerald is all like …

Time for judging. The House of Emerald/Orange County is up first. The judges seem to likee Cindy’s dress and were impressed with Cesar’s ability to lock down Ashley’s unruly natural boobs. On the other hand, they thought Jeffrey’s original and less hoochie-ish design would have been better. And they REALLY hated the way Golnessa put a side vajayjay on Gretchen. One vajayjay is more than enough, thankyouverymuch.

The House of Nami is up next. The judges no likee Calvin’s and Dominique’s designs – but they do likee David's revamped dress and the gown Eduardo made for Dina...

The House of Nami wins – and Eduardo is the overall winner for the third time. Naturally, a relieved Dominique is all like …

Oy.

The House of Emerald goes back in front of the judges and gets chastised for their “muddled” and “unflattering” color palette – as well as some design issues. Cindy and Cesar are safe, leaving Jeffrey and Golnessa on the bottom.

In the end, it is Golnessa who is “out of fashion” for THIS …

And, unsurprisingly, she is all like …

But I choose to look at the bright side – at least I won’t have to worry about telling Cindy and Golnessa apart anymore. And that makes me all like …

Tonight on "The Fashion Show" - Housewives!

Tonight's episode of The Fashion Show: Ultimate Collection looks like an absolutely delicious trainwreck. Jersey Housewives + Calvin's Bitchery = Reality Show Gold. Look for my recap tomorrow afternoon, but in the meantime check out these previews (via Blogging Bravo) ...

 

The Fashion Show - Ep. 4 - Little Boxes Made of Ticky Tacky

Last week on The Fashion Show, Calvin and Cesar switched teams (they are now straight??) and Tamara was sent home for her fatal femme fatale look.

It’s morning in NYC and as always, the House of Emerald is upset because they are a big pack of losers, while the House of Nami struts around talking about how awesome they are. Then they receive the usual cheesy note slipped under the door – instructing them to go to the Museum of Natural History.

At the museum, the fashiontestants gather in front of a vaguely vajayjay-ish sculpture (above). At least that’s what David says. And, as we all know, David (below) is ALL ABOUT the Poodle.

Surrounding the statue are nine metal BOXES (What is up with all this lady imagery? Is this Lifetime or something??) and a scary Iman who barks out wisdom regarding time and time capsules and shizz. Speaking of time capsules – the sculptural ‘Ode to the Lady Cave’ is actually a time capsule – not to be opened for 1000 years. I’m sure there’s another vajayjay joke in there somewhere, but I just CAN’T with all this ‘Sparkle Box’ talk…

Anyhoohaw, each designer gets a time capsule box which represents a specific year. They are to use this as their inspiration and create a fashion-forward look based on their year, which must also be cohesive with the rest of their House. Oh, and they have to use plaid. Because Iman “ADORES!” plaid. Or something. “Don’t ask me WHY, I don’t make the rules!” (Ouiser Boudreaux, Steel Magnolias).

The designers go back to the workroom to do sketches and Mood Boards. I've mentioned this before – but the idea of Mood Boards is simply awesome. I think everyone should wake up every morning and do a Mood Board for the upcoming day. Here was mine this morning…

Pretty much says it all, doesn’t it?

Isaac comes in and consults with both Houses, and then everyone heads over to NotMood for a plaid fabric flurry (try saying that 3 times fast).

Back in the workroom, the designers get down to business. Eduardo has immunity this week (OMG – that accent just melts me when he says “Eee-myoon-ee-tee”) – so he is going “outside the box” (Boxes again!). Dominique is thinking about a “girl, dating this guy” which is just so sad I can’t even comment on it.

Golnessa and/or Cindy (I seriously still can’t tell them apart) is having trouble, and the other one is having a hard time watching her friend struggle. I think.

All of a sudden The Fashion Show: Ultimate Collection somehow turns into Iman’s Drag Race – with Calvin and Jeffrey donning skirts, heels and wigs and werqing the runway and lip synching for their lives. Ladies, don’t F*&K it up…

Day #1 ends, and Day #2 begins – and back in the workroom David has stopped thinking about boxes for a moment and started thinking about his Grandma (ew?). His inspiration year is 1982, which makes him thinks of jumpsuits, which makes him think of his Grandmother. I don’t understand it either, but I also don’t get the whole “I Love Lady Hotpockets” thing either.

Pretty Rolando – he of the long flowing hair and the size two figure (that Biatch), is struggling with his sixties dress – particularly the “piping”. Again, I’m sure there is some sort of gay “expert pipe handler” joke in there somewhere – but I’m tired and I have to save something for my Top Chef recap tomorrow.

Speaking of Rolando, he throws the gay side-eye at David, because David won’t stop “flirting” with young, impressionable, giggly Dominique (after all, she has one of those Slip-n-Slides he loves so much). Rolando notes that David has flirted with HIM, so whatevs …

David talks about how he was raised by a single mother – so he identifies with women. Newsflash: being a Mama’s Boy doesn’t make you straight. It just means you love your Mama – and, usually, other guys. And their “piping”. Ask Rolando if you don’t believe me.

Look, don’t get me wrong – I think David is adorable. He has the puppy dog eyes, full lips, and geeky awkwardness that melts my butter. He also looks decent in a sleeveless shirt…

But on a Gay Scale from 1 to 10, David scores as follows …

Which is about a '38'. 

Day #2 starts winding down, and the House of Emerald decides they need an additional look to make their collection more cohesive. So Den Mother Cesar whips one up as easily as Paula Deen makes bacon-fried sausages. Over at Team Nami, Calvin lovingly tells Ro that his dress is “horrendous”, and Rolando doesn’t argue. Instead, Rolando decides to “fix it”. Cue ominous foreshadowing music…

Day #2 ends, and it’s now Catwalk Day. Question: WTF is up with the designers carting their garments on rolling racks through the streets of NYC? Doesn’t Iman have minions to do that??

Speaking of minions, Clipboard Stefan runs around backstage like a Nun at a co-ed Catholic school dance (STOP TOUCHING!!!) and lines everyone up. The House of Nami goes first – and they present a very “industrial” looking collection in shades of gray.

The House of Emerald then shows a chic-looking collection with five looks – meaning one of the models has to do a quick change backstage.

The guest judge this week is “Supermodel” Anja Rubik – who is best known for her signature look …

Iman and Isaac come backstage and announce that the House of Emerald finally wins a challenge – with Jeffrey’s look being the overall winner. Isaac says he wants to steal Jeffrey’s dress for his next collection, but I don’t really get it – it looks like a plaid dress with a long piece of fabric hanging off the side …

The House of Nami goes in front of the judges…

Eduardo: “Deece-Co” dress. Judges likee. Eduardo has immunity. Safe.

Dominique: “Grungy young giggly gal wearing David’s her boyfriend’s shirt”. Judges likee. Safe.

Calvin: Great skirt, but top looked like a “Homemaker Under the Influence” (is there any other kind??). He is safe.

So the bottom two comes down to Rolando’s boring 1969 look, and Lady-Lovin-David’s 1982 Michael-Jackson-Grandma-Did-I-Mention-I-Like-Vaginas garment. Iman instructs them both “Don’t Move!!” and demands to know why David should stay. He immediately freezes up like a gay man standing in front of a powerful woman. Oh, wait…  Anygay, David won’t stick up for himself until a weeping Dominique demands that he not give up. Oy. I just CAN’T.

David suddenly finds some words about Grandma or Picklesnappers or something and I throw up a little in my mouth.

In the end, pretty gay Rolando is sent home – solely because the producers want to milk as much as possible out of David’s “relationship” with Dominique and her Shaved Ham. But at least she comes to the realization that she "wears the pants". Ya think?!?

Did I mention that I just CAN’T??

Next week: The Really Bankrupt Housewives of New Jersey vs. The Really Plastic Housewives of Someplace In California.

What did YOU think about last night's episode of The Fashion Show. Please leave your thoughts in the comments.

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Tonight On The Fashion Show

Don't forget - The Fashion Show airs tonight on Bravo. And according to our good friends at Blogging Bravo:

The designers go back to the future this week when they are met by Iman at an NYC staple – the National History Museum – where she delivers their design challenge: select a time capsule containing items and accessories from a specific year to inspire your collection. While going back in time to get their inspiration, the challenge is to create a new, fashion-forward looks that incorporate that timeless pattern, plaid.

T-Rex skeletons wearing plaid?? Whatevs. Regardless, don't forget to come back here tomorrow afternoon for something resembling a recap.

And, btw, I just CAN'T with these two ...