Friday, September 16, 2011

Project Runway 9 - Ep. 8 -"Time To Go Home ... Alone"


Unfortunately I’m suffering from an extreme case of Writer’s Block and can’t seem to get my usual as-it-happened, narrative-style recap down on paper. Therefore, we are going to “Plan B” – with “B” standing for “Bullet Points”… 
  • Bryce was the first person to speak this week – stating that he’s never won a challenge before. Immediately I knew he would be going home. 
  • After last week’s histrionics, Josh Eyebrows is now “in a much better place’. Question: Is Purgatory a better place than Hell?? Just asking… 
  • Speaking of Eyebrows, he is “intimidated” by large waistlines. Similarly, I am intimidated by over-made-up Queens with no “OFF” switch. And by “am intimidated by” I mean “intensely dislike”. 
  • Seriously, to hear some of the designers (especially Olivier) talk, the boyfriends/husbands were a bunch of Dom Deluise’s or Jabba the Hutt’s. Gimme a break. 
  • Bert’s client seemed spent the entire episode auditioning for the role of Tony “Boobie Monster” Nunzio – capo of Brooklyn’s infamous ‘Motorboating Crew’. Too bad The Sopranos is no longer hiring.
  • It’s hard for Eyebrows to “do simple”. It’s even harder for him to “be civil”. 
  • Poor Bryce, his client – Jovan – described his girlfriend (wife?) as “cutesy”, “elegant” and “girly”. Also “gritty”, “sophisticated” and “a total freak after five cosmos”. Oh, and she likes pink. 
  • Olivier, in addition to hating fat people, also hates women with boobies. As well as people who speak words. And also “clients”. 
  • When Bryce is in trouble, he turns into Macaulay Culkin from Home alone… 


  • You could see the women practically squeal with delight when Tim Gunn entered the room. Speaking of Tim, he was so funny this week – especially all the boobtalk
  • Remember the days when Project Runway had Guest Judges who were actually famous?? With that being said … who in the Purgatory is Malin Whatshername?? 

Results:
  • Safe: Kimberly, Olivier, Laura 
  • Top: Anya, Eyebrows, Viktor 
  • Bottom: Bryce, Bert, Anthony-Ryan 

Winner: Eyebrows...


Loser: Bryce, as predicted, is sent Home (Alone).



Next week: Menswear … forealz this time. And maybe even a real recap from Moi.



7 comments:

froggy said...

You wrapped it up nicely. Really, how could anyone top Olivier's boobyphobia? And Tim's attempts to deal with all the booby issues. Gawd, what would they do with a nursing mother?!?!

BJÖRNS-BRUTZELBUDE said...

Bryce!!!! so funny!

Tivo Mom said...

Sick of Josh. Viktor should have won. Olivier hates everyone but himself it seems like. Love your bullet points...

Joy said...

Even when you say you have writer's block, your recaps are filled with hillarium and epic insight! Poor Olivier must design in a vacuum and never have to deal with people. Josh is really irritating and you said it better.

Brazilliant!!! xoxoxoxoxxo

Bob said...

"Bryce was the first person to speak this week – stating that he’s never won a challenge before. Immediately I knew he would be going home."


Once again you and I are on the same page!

Loved the Bullet-Pointed-Succinct-Snark!


XOXOXO

theminx said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
theminx said...

You call him "Eyebrows," I call him the "Evil Queen."

Oh, and Malin Ackerman was in Watchmen. She wore a Rami Kashou gown to the premiere.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

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