Project Runway 9 - Ep. 8 -"Time To Go Home ... Alone"

Unfortunately I’m suffering from an extreme case of Writer’s Block and can’t seem to get my usual as-it-happened, narrative-style recap down on paper. Therefore, we are going to “Plan B” – with “B” standing for “Bullet Points”… 

• Bryce was the first person to speak this week – stating that he’s never won a challenge before. Immediately I knew he would be going home. 

• After last week’s histrionics, Josh Eyebrows is now “in a much better place’. Question: Is Purgatory a better place than Hell?? Just asking… 

• Speaking of Eyebrows, he is “intimidated” by large waistlines. Similarly, I am intimidated by over-made-up Queens with no “OFF” switch. And by “am intimidated by” I mean “intensely dislike”. 

• Seriously, to hear some of the designers (especially Olivier) talk, the boyfriends/husbands were a bunch of Dom Deluise’s or Jabba the Hutt’s. Gimme a break. 

• Bert’s client seemed spent the entire episode auditioning for the role of Tony “Boobie Monster” Nunzio – capo of Brooklyn’s infamous ‘Motorboating Crew’. Too bad The Sopranos is no longer hiring.

• It’s hard for Eyebrows to “do simple”. It’s even harder for him to “be civil”. 

• Poor Bryce, his client – Jovan – described his girlfriend (wife?) as “cutesy”, “elegant” and “girly”. Also “gritty”, “sophisticated” and “a total freak after five cosmos”. Oh, and she likes pink. 

• Olivier, in addition to hating fat people, also hates women with boobies. As well as people who speak words. And also “clients”. 

• When Bryce is in trouble, he turns into Macaulay Culkin from Home alone… 

• You could see the women practically squeal with delight when Tim Gunn entered the room. Speaking of Tim, he was so funny this week – especially all the boobtalk. 

• Remember the days when Project Runway had Guest Judges who were actually famous?? With that being said … who in the Purgatory is Malin Whatshername?? 

Results:

• Safe: Kimberly, Olivier, Laura 

• Top: Anya, Eyebrows, Viktor 

• Bottom: Bryce, Bert, Anthony-Ryan 

Winner: Eyebrows...

Loser: Bryce, as predicted, is sent Home (Alone).

Next week: Menswear … forealz this time. And maybe even a real recap from Moi.