Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Don't FUCK With Me Fellas!


This ain't my first time at the Rodeo!


You are NOT going to believe this! I emailed Time-Warner's President and CEO (Howard Szarfarc), and I "blind CC'd" the COO, Senior V.P. and General Manager for New York and New Jersey, Senior V.P and General Manager for Customer Service, and the Senior V.P. and General Manager of High Speed Online. See the email below, which went out at a few minutes after 6:00 pm:


To: Howard Szarfarc, President
Time Warner Cable, New York City

Dear Mr. Szarfarc -

I am troubled to have to write this letter to you directly, but it seems that your “customer service” representatives are either unable, or unwilling to help me.

On Tuesday, March 25, 2008, my Roadrunner connection went out, and I made a service appointment for the following Tuesday (April 1st) evening. That Saturday (March 29th), I noticed Time Warner Technicians in my building fixing one of my neighbor's connections. In doing so, they knocked out my cable television. So I was left with NO cable TV, and NO internet connection.

That evening, Saturday, March 29th, I called your customer service department to report the outage, and to see if I could get an earlier appointment, since it was obviously Time Warner’s fault that my cable TV was now out. The first representative hung up on me, the second kept me on hold for 40 minutes before disconnecting me, and the third promised a callback that never came. NO ONE would allow me to speak to a Supervisor. I finally gave up, and decided to wait for my already-scheduled Tuesday (April 1st) appointment. The confirmation number I was given for Tuesday’s appointment was XXXXXX.

On Tuesday, April 1st, I made sure I was home at 6:00 pm to wait for the Technician. At around 8:00 pm he showed up, and after 45 seconds, stated “I can’t help you - you need a daytime appointment”. He called his dispatcher, who said there were no appointments available until Saturday, April 8th. I protested, and he angrily said “Do you want it, or not?!”. I took the appointment, but immediately called customer service AGAIN to BEG for an earlier appointment.

“Chanel” at your Support Center was able to get be an appointment for the following day (today, April 2nd) between the hours of 10am and 2pm. I called my boss at home to make arrangements to come to work late the following day, after my Time Warner appointment. I even called customer service this morning to confirm my appointment (and I was assured by your representative that they were coming). I stayed in my apartment, next to my phone waiting for my buzzer to ring. By 2:00 pm, no one had shown. I called customer service AGAIN. After ANOTHER 45 minute phone call, I was told that someone would be here by 6:00 pm, and was given a confirmation number of XXXXXX.

It is now 6:00 pm, and no one has come by, or called. I have missed an entire day of work, without so much as a telephone call from Time Warner Cable explaining the TWO missed appointments today.

Previously, I had considered adding Time Warner telephone, and DVR to my service package - but NO MORE! It is obvious that your company does not appreciate or even respect me or my time, so I am no longer interested in expanding my relationship with your company. [This was bullshit that I added to show how this could affect their profits...but again, it's total BULL]

I need someone to call me on my cell phone IMMEDIATELY. My number is XXX-XXX-XXXX. I am tired of being frustrated and angry at Time Warner Cable, and I simply want my TV and Internet working again! If this continues, I will be forced to find another provider who is able to give me these services, and who WANTS my business!

Sincerely,

JOAN FUCKING CRAWFORD!!!


Within 5 minutes, my cell phone rang. It was some exec. saying that the CEO's office just called with instructions to take care of me. She assured me that someone would be here in 15-20 minutes. Five minutes later, ANOTHER exec. called me - offering to follow-up in an hour.

Twenty minutes later, a FINE Papi (goodness, they even got THAT part right) rang my bell, along with his SUPERVISOR. Twenty minutes later, I had cable and high-speed internet. And five minutes after that, I got a follow-up call.

I recommend this technique anytime you have a problem with a large corporation. Get some names and email addresses of the top brass...because shit ALWAYS rolls downhill...

And remember: don't ever, EVER mess with this bitch!

17 comments:

Beth said...

TRANNY!!!!! You got it goin on!!!! They just didn't know who they were messin with, did they?! WOOHOO!!!!! You are FIERCE!!!!

Now, the next time I have a problem with them....and I WILL have a problem with them, I am sure of it...I'm callin YOU!!!!

Love you and your hair!!

David Dust said...

Don't mess with this TRANNY, BIATCHES!!!!

Timmy said...

Time Warner had the contract for the City of Houston so we had no choice but to use them unless you wanted satellite. I had a similar problem with them but it wasn't that bad. I was getting to the point of writing a nasty email but fortunately it got resolved before I had to pull out the poison pen.

In a different situation I was having problems with my phone company (now AT&T) and one night at dinner I happen to sit next to someone who had retired from the phone company. I told him the problems I was having and gave him the work order number.

The next day I had six people at the house when I pulled into the driveway. The man in charge looked at me and said, "I don't know who YOU KNOW but we'll have everything fixed in an hour." Hmmmm....this had been going for 2 weeks and they got it fixed in an hour? Hmmmm.

Anonymous said...

Mamie, good for you girlfriend. Did you take your Papi to the smoochin' room when you were done with him?

smooches,
agnes gooch

David Dust said...

Timmy, it's ALL about who you know (or who you email)!

AGNES! Papi's Supervisor was cock-blocking...bastard. NEXT TIME it'll be me and him - in the smoochin' room! XOXO Mame

Mistress Maddie said...

That is great news!!What a piss in your face letter!That'll learn them!! Love the Joan Crawford angle!Us Harrisburg girls are a "don't fuck with us bunch"!!

Jennie said...

Suck it, Time Warner! And Dish Network too!

Parrish said...

Probably someone was scared by the fact that Joan Crawford was writing...

Congratulations to victory.

dwight said...

ROCK THE HELL ON! You are awesome. You can't spell David without D I V A! ;)

Mark in DE said...

You GO, Miss Dust!!!

But here's the burning question: Where did you find the Exec's email address????

I have had similarly frustrating situations before and am not above pulling a Joan Crawford, but I can never find the Exec's contact info.

"Christina... bring me the ax!"

Mark :-)

SailorAlphaCentauri said...

Bravo! I have learned from the master and now know what to do the next time Time Warner gives me the id10t in Technical Support ;-)

Howard said...

You are my hero.

[heavy sigh]

Kathy aka the Minx said...

day-um. You scare me. And yay - we can has Top Chef recap now!

Meeg said...

You did the right thing. Writing a letter or email is often a good idea because it creates physical evidence in a way that a phone call might not.

And contacting a company's executives or central headquarters is also a good move because even if their employees really don't give a damn they will probably do something to keep from losing a customer unhappy enough with service to contact them.

Cable companies suck but it seems like your experience was much worse than most.

Here's hoping that's the last time you need to call them for anything in a long time!

Joy said...

Well done, girlfriend! You rock!

Having email is a powerful gift, isn't it? I've used it at times with good results, too. Now and then I have fun correspondence with program directors. Did you ever read that hilarious book The Lazlo Letters by Don Novello? He was Father Guido Sarducci on The Smothers Brothers Show. Too young to remember? Sometimes I feel like the fictitious Lazlo Toth when I send all kinds of emails.

David Dust said...

Dust Bunnies - thank you all.

Joy - I LOVE how you think I'm SO young...I just can't get enough of you sweetie! I DO remember Don Novello/Father Guido Sarducci from the old Saturday Night Live. But I don't read much - except for blogs.

kayce. said...

bitch you are an evil genius ~ you could rule the world, f'reals. i am DEF going to try the nuclear option, but only if (let's be honest: when) pushed to do so.

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