Friday, July 1, 2011

The Day Anderson Cooper Prevented Me From Eating Fried Chicken - But Almost Gave Me A Heart Attack Anyway



Earlier in the week I had a Close Encounter of the Gay Kind - I passed Anderson Cooper on the street near my job.

It was lunchtime and my evil "FUCKIT!" switch had gone off – telling my brain that we were HONGRAY for Fried Chicken. The nearby Gourmet Garage (it’s like a condensed version of Whole Foods) always has some pretty good chicken at their deli counter, so off I went to satisfy my craving.

But immediately after crossing the street I noticed a silver-haired hottay coming right at me. It didn’t take long to realize that this was uber-Journamalist, A-Gay, and Vanderbilt Jeans heiress Anderson Cooper.

But DAMN – that Queen moves fast! I hesitated for a second, but then thought it would be a hoot to get a picture for my DustBunnies (talk about journamalism!). So I went on the chase…

I had no idea that the descendants of Commodore Vanderbilt were frickin’ built for speed. ACoop was moving faster than me at an all-you-can-eat Arby’s Buffet or Charlie Sheen on his way out the door of Rehab. Darlings, he was putting FloJo to shame on the streets of NYC. Needless to say, I never caught up to him – and was only able to snap this very blurry picture (top) while on the move.

My moment with Anderson Cooper, however, DID make me forget about Fried Chicken AND it prompted me to get a little exercise. So there’s that.

But next time, dear Andy, cut a fat girl a break and slow down a little. No need to kill a biatch...



.

6 comments:

Alydar75 said...

Where was Ben?

froggy said...

Holy Chicken Bits!
I wonder if I could get him to stroll thru my kitchen occasionally....

Kailyn said...

Anderson reads this blog and just wanted to make sure you had a good day. He is now your personal trainer.

mistress maddie said...

Now Im DEFINIETLY NOT TALKING TO YOU for some time! I have been trying to get him for myself, and you didn't even yell at him to get his attention, so you could give him my digits so we can build our life togther. He can even live here at the Casa du Borghese if he wants. But I guess I could throw in the towel for a Newport mansion! DAMN IT MAME! Next time get him- I thought I taught you better!


XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Sam said...

Gurl ain't no Ho worth losing out on some fried pigeon. You mean to tell me you actually went in hot pursuit of this Ho?
Glad you survived the exercise, better luck next time and now I go back to my spot on the couch.
Xoxo

Josh said...

LMAO! David you are hilarious. I would have to have hunt Anderson little hot down.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...