Monday, April 27, 2009

Monday Weigh-In


When it comes to losing weight, I fucking GIVE UP. It's just not going to happen... and I'm not even going to pretend to try anymore. EPIC FUCKING FAIL.


25 comments:

Kevin said...

that's what THEY want you to do!

you've hit a plateau. don't stop.

PFM7 said...

Are you sure it is a failure? Trying to do something for the wrong reason and not succeeding may be either your body or your self or both telling you this is not a good idea. Are you unhealthy because of your weight, did a doctor who knows you, your background, fammily history tell you that you need to lose weight, how much and how soon? are you doing it because you really want to or because you think it is expected of you? If you are happy and healthy now, think about why you want to lose weight, then try to approach it in such a way as to not equate weight loss with personal success or failure and least of all with personal worth.

David Dust said...

Kevin -

Eating three frozen pizzas, a pack of biscuits, and then ordering Chinese food (all within 2 hours) is not "hitting a plateau". It's called "Disgusting and Batshit Crazy".

David Dust said...

Dear PFM7 -

I am 41 years old, 5'10", and I weigh over 270 lbs. I am trying to lose weight because I'd like to get laid again at least once before I die. NOT because I am morbidly obese - and my father has a history of heart trouble.

I'm scared to death of doctors, so I don't go. I haven't been to one in over 10 years.

I am neither happy nor healthy. Nor very sensible - as you can ascertain from the information I've provided above

I hope that answers your questions.

P.S. - Aren't you sorry you asked?? :)

Kevin said...

So? All that means is you have to sweat a little longer at the gym this week.

The worst thing you can do is punish yourself for what you did. You have to move on from it and just remind yourself of this moment if you should find yourself "batshit crazy" again.

Next week, on a very special episode of Blossom...

David Dust said...

Dear Kevin -

Thank you ... and of course you are right. But I am finding it harder and harder to make rational decisions when it comes to food these days.

Maybe I need to go back and find that "very special" episode of Blossom. I hope it featured a lot of Joey... :)

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Anonymous said...

It's not about food or weight. It's NEVER about food or weight. Food is just the vehicle you've chosen to sublimate whatever IT is you don't really want to face.

Stop thinking about the weight and perhaps start thinking about why you're not happy. See a therapist - they are not doctors so no reason to be afraid. And yes, not all therapists are great or even good - you may have to shop around a bit, but having someone with whom you can be totally open and honest with on a regular basis is priceless and the worth the energy and effort.

Go to it.

Wonder Man said...

I believe you can do it...I know you can, David.

Bittybis said...

Dude. Don't give up. It sucks denying yourself stuff that you love. Move on from past choices and think about choices where instead of feeling like you're denying yourself you feel like you're granting yourself something else -- like feeling energized, or a sense of achievement. It's a struggle every day for me. Since last September I've lost 32 pounds on Weight Watchers. That an average of a pound a week. And I've had to fight for every one. But I feel so much better and I know I can do the remaining 56 pounds, even if it takes me another year. Hanging in there does not make you a loser.

Eric Arvin said...

Big hugs, David :-) It's rough, but keep trying. I hit the same wall last night with a different issue, buI'm gonna drag myself up once more.

:-))

Jennie said...

It's not failing to walk away and come back later. It's strategic. Believe me, I completely understand! When you're feeling motivated again, come back to it and give it another try. But stop beating yourself up! And quit thinking of every bite you take as failure. You might as well enjoy it, right?

Just remember, every good decision you make is a victory and celebrate those. I'm thinking of you, sweetie!

frogponder said...

I am also afraid of doctors and ended up in the hospital with complications of type 2 diabetes...
Now I'm forced to go to the doctor and I still hate it. But I am alive.

(hug)

frogponder said...

PS - this book made a lot of sense to me - In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan.

thegayte-keeper said...

hey I know how you feel...just got back on plan...

Beth said...

oh honey....I too, believe it's not really about "the food". the food is just a symptom of something bigger. At least it is for me. And there are alot of epopel who can be 270 and be healthy, so maybe you really should get your butt to a dr. What's there to be afraid of? Maybe he'll be some hot Papi!!!! That's exactly the kind of doctor you should look for!

and as for getting laid....well, I'm married and don't get laid, so getting laid is highly over rated!! ;) But there IS someone out there for YOU, David, and waiting to find that person can be hard but so much worth it on the end.

And don't even TRY to be on a diet when I come to see you, cuz I want bagels, and pizza and chinese for at 2AM!

I love you Tranny, regardless of what you weigh. and so do so many other people, just remember that!

Zombie Mom said...

Hang in there Bunny...

Marker said...

I hear ya bro. What everyone said above.

If you can swing it, try to find a therapist. Everyone should see one - try some mental calisthenics for a change.

(LOL @ Kevin: "Next week, on a very special episode of Blossom...")

Beth said...

I can't add much more to the previous comments, but it sounds like people are on track. There's something else going on that makes you turn to food for...comfort? Happiness? I don't know, but something lies beneath. Perhaps it's a matter of eating plenty, but eating better things? I could seriously eat a head of cauliflower for dinner, for example, because I love the stuff so much. Maybe you just need to make healthier choices.

We all love you no matter what, but that also means we'd like to keep you around for a while. :)

XO Beth

C'est moi, c'est moi Lola said...

'Eating three frozen pizzas, a pack of biscuits, and then ordering Chinese food (all within 2 hours) is not "hitting a plateau"'

Bozhe moi, what triggered that bout of emotional eating?! As others have said before, you have to figure out what triggered that carb & MSG bonanza! I wouldn't go so far as to suggest therapy, but you have to think about what the difference was between when you were doing well and what happened this past week.

We all have setbacks. In fact, my bike shorts aren't fitting the same as they did in October, and I'm having fun deluding myself that "they shrunk in the wash". I'm not on form, but it doesn't mean I'm giving up on cycling and am going to buy out all the Ben & Jerry's at my supermarket. It means that I'm getting my fat (spandexed) ass on a bike tonight and riding a few miles.

Don't give up David!

Mark in DE said...

Sounds like you are in a bad place. You're frustrated by your own success/failure rollercoaster. I can understand that. I also think you should consider therapy. There's bound to be therapists in NYC who specialize in people with eating disorders. (Yeah, I said it. Its a diagnosis, NOT a bad word.) Just think about it, and don't give up.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

mistress maddie said...

Girl- what did I tell you before about being negative! Keep walking home to and from work. You'll see a difference sooner or later!

miss alaineus said...

we can't give up. i will make a deal with you. i will go to the dentist if you go to the doctor....i have struggled with the scale my whole life and the more stressed i get, the more carbs i want to eat...we can do this thing!!!!

why? i for one need to read your blog daily to have some e-humor in my life and i think the world would be a far worse place without your wit and fantabulous taste in men!!!!

take care and please dont throw in the towel yet.

xxalainaxx

Joy said...

You didn't eat the pizzas while they were still frozen, right? Then there's hope.

Sam said...

Look Her HO! Give me a fucking break already, I'm 6'3 and am 390lbs. My Dad is a walking time bomb living off heart meds, as you I'm terrified of the Dr. too About the getting laid thing? Its fucking overrated, your better off jacking off till you can get yourself together. Look I'm not going to sugar coat this shit David, I love you like the sister you are to me. We both have at one time been some bad ass ho's with the body to back it up, but Until YOU, and I decide we have had enough nothing will change.
I'll tell you something you already know, it's something I tell my self everytime I stuff food in my mouth. We are the only ones that can change this.
So, Listen ho. DO IT ALREADY. Keep your mouth shut, and MOVE your ass. And if you need me, I'm here. maybe just maybe by saying these words to you, I too can change. Love tug

Renee said...

If I can do it, so can you. I have faith in you David. *hugs*

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