Thank you all so much for your kind words and thoughts about the loss of my beloved kitty, Emmy. Dust Bunnies are the BEST.
This was SO hard. I could tell this day was getting close, because Emmy wasn't really eating much and she was (literally) almost skin and bones. She was also having trouble walking, but still managed to get around when she needed to. On Tuesday night I could tell things had taken a turn for the worse. Emmy seemed agitated and uncomfortable - and by Wednesday morning she was having trouble breathing - literally gasping for breath. I knew I had to get her to the Vet and have her put to sleep.
I had been trying to prepare myself for this - but it was so much harder than I ever thought it would be. Thank God for my roommate - he went with me to the Vet's office and actually took Emmy back into the Exam Room with the Vet. I don't know exactly how it all went down back there - and I don't ever want to know. I said my goodbyes to my baby girl back at the apartment, and then once more at the front desk of the Vet's office. Then my roommate took her into the back and I slumped into a couch in the waiting room and cried. It was all over in about 15 minutes and we returned to the apartment with an empty cat carrier.
I miss Emmy so much. I had her for 15 years - more than 1/3rd of my life. She was the absolute sweetest cat, who loved snuggling with me on the couch and getting her head rubbed. She also liked to STALK me when I came home from work for her evening meal of canned cat food. Emmy did not rest until she had prodded me into opening that can.
Later that evening I fed my other cat, Oscar, and he didn't even bother going over to his dish. Oscar prefers the dry cat food that I give him in the morning. And when I had to take Emmy's food dish off the kitchen floor and put it into the sink for good, I cried. In fact, I'm not too proud to admit that there are tears streaming down my face as I type this. I am so glad I have Oscar - who didn't leave my side all day Wednesday (I didn't go to work). I know I'm going to sound like some crazy cat lady - but Oscar is NOT a "hang out with Daddy on the couch" kind of kitty - Emmy was. But it's almost like Oscar knows that I need him right now and he has been as snuggly as he has ever been.
I have had cats all my life - my parents are "cat people", and my family always had cats when I was growing up. But Emmy was the first cat that was MINE. When I moved into Manhattan 15 years ago, Emmy was living in the apartment with my roommate at the time. When that roommate moved out a few months later, Emmy stayed and became Daddy's little girl. And even though she is gone, she will ALWAYS be my baby.
This was SO hard. I could tell this day was getting close, because Emmy wasn't really eating much and she was (literally) almost skin and bones. She was also having trouble walking, but still managed to get around when she needed to. On Tuesday night I could tell things had taken a turn for the worse. Emmy seemed agitated and uncomfortable - and by Wednesday morning she was having trouble breathing - literally gasping for breath. I knew I had to get her to the Vet and have her put to sleep.
I had been trying to prepare myself for this - but it was so much harder than I ever thought it would be. Thank God for my roommate - he went with me to the Vet's office and actually took Emmy back into the Exam Room with the Vet. I don't know exactly how it all went down back there - and I don't ever want to know. I said my goodbyes to my baby girl back at the apartment, and then once more at the front desk of the Vet's office. Then my roommate took her into the back and I slumped into a couch in the waiting room and cried. It was all over in about 15 minutes and we returned to the apartment with an empty cat carrier.
I miss Emmy so much. I had her for 15 years - more than 1/3rd of my life. She was the absolute sweetest cat, who loved snuggling with me on the couch and getting her head rubbed. She also liked to STALK me when I came home from work for her evening meal of canned cat food. Emmy did not rest until she had prodded me into opening that can.
Later that evening I fed my other cat, Oscar, and he didn't even bother going over to his dish. Oscar prefers the dry cat food that I give him in the morning. And when I had to take Emmy's food dish off the kitchen floor and put it into the sink for good, I cried. In fact, I'm not too proud to admit that there are tears streaming down my face as I type this. I am so glad I have Oscar - who didn't leave my side all day Wednesday (I didn't go to work). I know I'm going to sound like some crazy cat lady - but Oscar is NOT a "hang out with Daddy on the couch" kind of kitty - Emmy was. But it's almost like Oscar knows that I need him right now and he has been as snuggly as he has ever been.
I have had cats all my life - my parents are "cat people", and my family always had cats when I was growing up. But Emmy was the first cat that was MINE. When I moved into Manhattan 15 years ago, Emmy was living in the apartment with my roommate at the time. When that roommate moved out a few months later, Emmy stayed and became Daddy's little girl. And even though she is gone, she will ALWAYS be my baby.
32 comments:
Cats are not just pets. They are family. I'm so sorry you lost part of your family.
Hugs from me and my kitty Sassy.
Take comfort in knowing that you loved Emmy very much and gave her the best life and more love than a kitty could ask for.
xoxo :)
I can totally relate with what you're going thru. I had to put one of my two cats, Nikita, to sleep last May. She would have been 17 this month, and I've had her for about 1/3 of my life as well.
She had been going downhill pretty fast over a period of a month, and one day I finally knew it was time to take her into the vet to put her to sleep. That was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life.
I took her to an vet that was also an emergency room so I could do it after hours. It cost a bit more, but I didn't have to deal with a bunch of other people in the office.
I chose to go into the room to watch her get put to sleep - they prepared her before I went into the room, and when I went in, they injected the drugs and it was over within a minute.
Reading your post and writing mine has had me tearing up again ...
No shame in crying over your loss. I lost my cat in January and I am still not able to look at pictures yet w/o crying. It will hurt less, but sadly it takes a long time.
I don't know who said it but there is a quote I love - "You are my cat, and I am your human". And Emmy was yours.
David, I've been tuned out a while - I am very sorry about the loss of your cat. I ahve always been very attached to my cats sio I know the pain of that loss.
Sincerest condoloences.
David, my heart is sad for you. We lost our precious Zuzu this summer. My kids think she went to heaven for unlimited tuna and sunshine, I hope Emmy has joined her.
I hope when I am reincarnated I can come back as a cat in a true cat lover's home. It sounds like I can put you on my list of "true cat lovers".
your post totally made me cry, too... as a cat person myself, i know that eventually these days will come for all of us, but it is hard to even think about, much less go through. you are lucky to have had each other for as long as you did.
David, honey. I'm so sorry about your friend. Feel the big hug I'm sending your way.
Take care of yourself, buddy. You are in my prayers.
Dear David-
I am so heart btoken for you. I have been there and, if it is any comfort, I was present when my 17 year old Afghan had to be put to sleep. It was so very peaceful and I asked the vet if she was gone yet while I was petting her as she fell asleep and he said she had already been gone for about a minute, I never knew and it was very, very peaceful for her. I too am crying as I write this.....it is still hard to think about. Furry friends are the best ever.
Take care.....
LB anon
dont be ashamed of crying , I have tears in my eyes reading this.
Love you!
Much love, darlin'. I was such a wreck when I was in this position and felt that no one could understand.
Big hug.
You gave her a wonderful life. Never forget that.
I've made that drive too. It's no fun. Keep lovin' Oscar, and take care.
aw hon...I feel for you, I really do. I am sending big big hugs your way......love you so much.
xoxoxoxox
Hey - *I* cried reading that. I still cry over my beloved cocker spaniel, and he's been gone for 14 years already. We're big softies, and that's a good thing. I would never want to know a person who doesn't have great sentimentality and feelings for their pets.
xoxoxoxoxo love ya!
K
When I came to your blog yesterday, the picture of Emmy was a shock even before I read your post. I had a cat for 15 years that looked exactly like her. Her name was Ming and she was more of a warrior maiden than your sweet Emmy. She's been gone for ten years now and I still miss her.
Those Russian Blues are the best cats, bright and loving. You and I were lucky to have such wonderful souls in our lives. I'm an agnostic but if there are angels, they come to us on four paws, blessing us with their presence.
David, my thoughts are with you in the loss of Emmy. Like so many others, I've been there (with my much-beloved 15-year-old silky terrier) and there is absolutely no shame in the tears you've shed. Like TheMinx said, I wouldn't want to know a person who didn't have deep feelings for their pet and who didn't mourn their loss. Emmy was blessed to have you, and you were blessed to have her. Much love to you and Oscar.
Dearest David, let the tears flow. I cannot imagine what a basket case I will be when I lose Timon, my 15-year-old who has been with me since he was about 4 months old. His health is not the best at the moment - he has long outlived what some whack-job of a vet told me almost 3 years ago - but he is happy. So, I know what you are going thru and have no idea what could help but to know we love you and hug you often.
So sorry about the loss of your beloved Emmy. It sounds like she had a long, happy life, and much love from her human.
Hugs from me and my cat Weasel. Hang in there, it gets easier.
I'm so so so sorry my dear. Really I am.
It will get itsy bitsy bit better after a while, but the memories will be with you. I know this doesnt help at all, but I'll have you in my thoughts.
I lost my dog of 17 years in March this year and no matter how rational you try to be about it, it still freaking hurts. I still miss him and sometimes things make me tear up (like your post right now). But it does get a bit easier.
You loved her very much and she had a lovely life with her daddy :)
Thats what counts my dear.
Huge hugs to you and to Oscar.
What a sweet and beautiful tribute to your darling kitty. Been there, done that, I know just how you're feeling. Sending you hugs.
xo
Jim
Like you, I said my good-byes beforehand. I just haven't been able to be with them when they were put to sleep. Brigit has been with me for over 12 years, and it's going to be horrible when she is gone.
It does take a long time for the pain to lesson, and we always miss those special pets. It makes me question ever getting another cat after Brigit because it hurts too much when they die. I don't think I can keep going through that.
Many hugs! Love and love! xoxoxoxxo
Oh my God... you poor baby! Emmy is in a better place, but it makes your place here on Earth seem so much worse! Time will heal, so try to be be strong and patient! My Jackson, Shelby, Nog and I will be thinking about you and Emmy and Oscar and we wish you strength and faith during your recovery!
I'm so very very sorry David. The loyalty of pets is so much more reliable than that of people that it's harder to lose them than people at times.
Many hugs though I know you are unconsolabe now.
Oh David. I've had a nutty week and didn't know. I'm so sorry for the loss of your Emmy. I can tell how much you loved her. It's crazy how our pets become part of our lives. Hugs from me and Jack.
I know exactly how you felt, I even got teary eyed-our pets are family-see my post on Greatest American Dog and all the dogs I've loved before-:)-Single D
I'm so sorry and sad for you!
I dread that day...
David,
You don't sound like a crazy cat lady, you sound like a loving person who lost his 4-legged family member. Most, if not all, of us can certainly identify and sympathize with you.
I'm sure you will miss Emmy terribly, but that's okay. As Arnold's mother says to him in 'Torch Song Trilogy': "It gets better with time, but it never completely goes away. And that's good, because it keeps you from forgetting them."
Much love and hugs to you,
Mark & Pouncer (Mark's 10 y/o kitty)
Hey Mame,
So sorry to hear about the loss of one of your family members. I've been occupied lately and just read this today.
I hope you are getting through this, many xoxoxoxoox,
Love, Agnes
Oh no, oh no.... I am sooo sorry David! I remember losing my 2 cats and I cried for at least 2 good months. *hugs* Again, I am so sorry for your loss.
David, your post was beautiful. Emmy truly was a lucky kitty to have you for a parent. I had to put my beloved Ophelia down three months ago, after 17 years, and I still cry when I think about her and how much I miss her. It gets easier, though, and remember--she may be "gone" in the physical sense, but she is still always with you, whenever you think about her and the wonderful times you spent together.
xoxoxo
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