Thursday, June 18, 2009

About Last Night's Top Chef Masters

Based on the lack of fireworks on Top Chef Masters, I didn't write a recap – but here are some random observations about last night’s episode…

I’ve come to the conclusion that Top Chef Masters is a perfectly good cooking show, but not a great “reality” show. Reality shows have drama and ridiculousness and obnoxious douchebags which makes the episodes recap-worthy. Top Chef Masters? Not so much.

When they introduce each of the Cheftestants for the week, they usually show some footage from their real-life restaurants during service. I loved it when they showed out lesbian Chef Elizabeth Faulker at her restaurant in San Francisco. I present to you, without comment, this quote: “I’ll take that fish anytime you’re ready!”.

I wonder how much weed they had to promise Season 2 Stonertestant Mike Midgley (below) to convince him to turn off the Cartoon Network, get off of the couch in his Mother’s basement, and come in to tape the show. Based on his performance last night, I’d say “quite a bit”.

The winning Chef, Suzanne Tracht, was pretty impressive – although not bombastic enough for a funny recap. But anyone who will serve fried shallot rings covered in Frito Dust outta get some kind of award. I’m sure Mike Midgley would agree.

Someone at Bravo/Top Chef has a raging hard-on for “Molecular Gastronomy” and/or Wylie Dufresne. I’m sorry, but cooking a piece of chicken in a Recirculating HydroCloroFloroOxide Induction Bath doesn’t impress me. Hasn’t Chef Sideburns ever heard of a skillet? The word "skillet", btw, cracks me the hell up - I have no idea why.

Chef Graham Elliot Bowles was so cute last night, following Wylie around like a big, loyal puppy. The two of them together looked like Ren and Stimpy (below).

Judge James Oseland may just be the gayest man on the planet – and I love him a little more each week. Oseland is the Michael Kors of Top Chef – I’m just waiting for him to pronounce a dish as being “Slutty, slutty, SLUTTY!”.

Can you imagine Season 4 Cheftestants Dale, Spike, Lisa and Andrew bonding and MAKING COOKIES together while they waited for the judges? Yeah, me neither.

I love how the producers and writers of Lost are fans of Top Chef. No wonder Lost doesn’t make any damn sense – the writers are paying too much attention to Recirculating HydroCloroFloroOxide Induction Baths and not enough time explaining all the weird crap that happens on the Island!

Finally, I am hoping that Gael Greene wears a different fabulous hat for each episode. The chapeau she sported last night (below) was called "Witchiepoo Meets Big Bird After Dark".

Feel free to share your own thoughts about last night’s episode in the comments…


Berry Blog said...

I agree with you 100- not much drama in this friendly group.The judges are more colorful.Actually each of the cheftestants is pretty likeable and I was kind of rooting for all of them. Your recap-ish post is better writing than the show itself offers. I do like Gael. Some color anyway.


frogponder said...

That's a pretty good recap for not doing a recap...

My question - why was Bravo promoting the ABC show LOST?? Is it some kind of passive aggressive move against their NBC Overlords for losing Project Runway??

David Dust said...

Frogponder - I wondered the same thing.

Bravo, especially, is ALL about the promotional tie-ins. I would think that plugging an ABC show would be verboten. Unless, of course, Bravo received a nice check for their efforts...


Bob said...

I missed it, but I agree completely.
interesting cooking show, yes! Great reality wackjobs, no.

Joy said...

I like the lack of drama and camaraderie of professionals. They seem to enjoy seeing peers in their own element and learning how each other works since they don't have that opportunity otherwise.

Your recap was entertaining as always.

I am really liking TCM and laughing at how some of them dreaded running into the cheftestants they judged on TC and even commented that these judges were nicer than they were when they judged.

Wylie was so funny saying fuck all the time when he messed up or the TC judges didn't like something.

The cookie baking was a nice touch.

You have no idea what I'm going through to leave this comment with my BlackBerry! My thumbs hurt.

Love you yadda yadda!!


mikeinbama said...

I enjoyed the show but after the Real Housewives of New Jersey finale, someone on Top Cef Masters needs to knock over a table or something and call ssomeone a whore prostitute.

Kailyn said...

California in da house! Sorry but I had to say that because of the first two winners.

I like the show. Then again I really like cooking and food. As MikeinBama pointed out Real Housewives is where the drama is.

The last time I went to Citizen Cake was after having dinner at Absinthe. Elizabeth's desserts are excellent. And they let us order wine while we waited for our table in the lobby area. (The place has a bar but it was full.) The hostess even brought it to us.

MCWolfe said...

I'm actually liking TCM mainly FOR its lack of drama. Its a nice change to see accomplished chefs competing against each other for a good cause. Yes, it sounds little bit "kittens on a cloud" annoyingly sweet but there it is.

Agree with you completely about the Wylie Dufresne thing though. Could there be a less telegenic individual in the universe and yet he shows up on TC with annoying regularity.

As for the LOST connection, I'm still scratching my head over that but am leaning in the money changing hands direction.

As always, love your writing. I'd read it if you recapped, well, anything.

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