Thursday, January 22, 2009

"It Smells Like Ass - It's Pretty Skanky"


As many of you know, I have a valid medical reason for not recapping last night’s episode of Top Chef. And no matter how demanding some you might be (Joy), I didn't feel guilty at all about kicking back and watching without frantically taking notes. It was a nice break, but I promise to be back on the job next week.

Leah (above) and The Hose continue to make me puke. Seriously, if you’re going to be sluts – THEN COMMIT TO IT. Don’t go half-slutty, and then feel guilty and get all mopey later. Seriously, if you’re a Ho, then be the bestest, proudest Ho ever. That’s just how I was raised.

Anywhoo – my close personal friend Stefan kicked ass last night – again - and Radhika went home to open her own Indian Bread Pudding restaurant. And yes, the title of this post was an actual quote from half-assed Ho Leah. Although I don’t think she was referring to herself.

Feel free to discuss last night's "Restaurant Wars" episode in the comments.

20 comments:

the dogs' mother said...

One wonders, did they tell their significant others before this episode aired? Did they get their asses kicked to the curb like they so righteously deserved? Are there more salacious moments in store for us? Do they consummate their torrid flirtation? Or did Leah decide to redeem herself and sit down with Carla's spirit gods? Did Hosea find a nicely cooked piece of pig and commit a Toby on it?

Oh, yeah! Congrats to Stefan, he truly is cock of the walk this week. With a dessert no less, the third rail of Top Chef.

Feeling better? :-)

Unknown said...

I won't say Stefan isn't an ass sometimes, but he's one talented MF'in ass. Now Fabio, on the other hand...I now love him. The monkey ass line was priceless.

There's a full-blooded recap over at my blog, if y'all want the stanky details.

Love means never having to say "Sahana"

Angel said...

I kept thinking, "Tranny KNOWS him!!! Tranny knows him!" and he did kick some serious ass last night. I hope he wins, cuz he really is the best.

and PULEEZ! The Hose and Leah totally DID IT! No one feels THAT guilty about kissing!!! Sheesh! Admit it! you got busy! So what!

and is CArla strange or WHAT???!

XOXOXOXOXOXXOXOXOX

Joy said...

You have now officially moved over from nephew to son! I brought my son up not to let me make him feel guilty about anything unless he has a good reason for it. I'm glad you didn't feel guilty and rose above my demands. Well done!

We know when we should feel guilty and I do now about the Friday weigh-in. (sigh)

The Hose and Skanky Leah got on all my nerves! Good grief! You are so right about all that! She definitely needed to go!

Yes, Stefan did rock those desserts. Did I tell you that my top student in the English 102 class I taught at Watkins College of Art, Design, and Film in Nashville was from Finland? They have an excellent educational system there. He majored in film directing. The second best student was from France and a bit older. She already had a degree in business from there and went to Watkins for an Interior Design degree. They both were not native speakers and wrote flawless papers in English. But I digress!

theminx said...

Well, you can always enjoy my recap instead...

xoxoxoxoxo

shirlnutkin said...

great that you took a break! i don't have much to say about the episode and about hobag hosea and lay-me leah. i will, however, be doing the usual blog hunting & gathering, and see what else pops up! hugs xoxoxo
(and meanwhile, i'd normally not cross topics but here goes ... because of YOU (thanks!) - and my internal compass that must have a few guilty pleasures - i am gonna watch tool academy - again)

Wonder Man said...

I loved Carla, taking about the 'love' she was sending.

Tivo Mom said...

I miss your recaps but you are so right. Leah and Hosea need to commit to whatever it is that they are doing. I agree with Beth, no one feels that guilt about kissing. Fabio was the reason to watch the show last night (again). And Stefan, still not a fan (sorry) but he was great last night. Loved Crazy Carla and her love from the kitchen. Good luck tomorrow on your weigh in.

Marker said...

"valid medical reason" . . . tee-hee

Anonymous said...

Ha Ha the COCK yes im COOOOK ;-). I understand you taking a break Master Duster, but how can i live without your blog one week. My god that kills or should i say that sucks. And Tivo MOM what do i have to do to make you lovvvve me, what do i have to do to make you care. It's so sad sad such sad sad situation. Do you want me to cock dinner for you, a glass champagne ur own euro chef for a evening;-). Anything you like i would do to win you over.

Happy Blogging

Stefan

Anonymous said...

You are so right...No one feels that guilty over a little Peck...
As for Stefan, he's warming up on me - Fin's are Hot...he's no Patrik Antonius, but he's getting there.
Enjoy
Debra Kay
PS - Love your Blogs

Miss Ginger Grant said...

Miss Ginger hates to admit that she thinks yoour Finnish boyfriend is gonna win this think. Check out her prediction of how the season will play out:

http://missgingergrant.blogspot.com/2009/01/miss-ginger-opines-on-top-chef.html

Renee said...

I loved Stefan's snarky comments about Leah and the Hose. Those two annoy the bejezus out of me.

And speaking of Stefan, he needs to come to my house and make me those yummy desserts. Right now, while I have extra WW points to blow.

Kailyn said...

I so wanted Leah's restaurant to lose just so she could go home. Because we know that they had hit the chopping block, Stefan and Fabio definitely would have been safe.

I really think that if Carla's desserts had not have been so messed up, then Radhika's restaurant would have won.

So yeah, Hosea and Leah so need to go because they are working my last nerve. (And Beth is right. They got busy.) And I'm trying to feel the Fabio love and all but for me it's all about Stefan. Because he's a little more my type. Maybe this has something to do with the fact that Fabio sounds like my friend Jade's husband and her husband does work my last nerve.

theminx said...

oh my - Stefan is going to "cock dinner" for Tivo Mom? Not sure if she should take him up on that one or not!

Unknown said...

Well, as much as I hate to admit it, Stefan has absolutely no competition on the show, and should win going away. And he has grown on me - I still giggle when I see the recast of the 'Cock' commentary.

And Leah and the Hoser need to get off my TV soon, before I see them doing it - not enough bleach to clean the images of them already. As always, Beth is right, no one feels guilty about snuggling, and only feel guilty about sex if they were caught. Especially if it will be broadcast.

I wish I could say I was sad to see Radhika go home, but truthfully it is only because that meant sex would continue. 4 could have been shipped out last night, and I would have been happy about it.

I am hoping for a final group of Stefan, Jeff and Fabio, with the angry Lesbian making it over one of the above because there is history of such silliness. And because Stefan needs someone to flirt with while winning the title.

Anonymous said...

Did anyone else notice Padma tasting one of the quick fire dishes with a KNIFE instead of a the fork.. she needs some etiquette lessons..
and she can take skanky Leah with her..

Meeg said...

Ugh, I hate Leah and Josea too. They've been pretty mediocre of late, and I could care less about there bs, steppin' out drama.

Also, Ariane wasn't going to win anyway (and was lucky she got as far as she did), but it was very weak how they sat back and let her do all the work and then she took the fall.

Anonymous said...

David, have you seen this?

From The Dish, Hosea's "apology"

First things first: None of us signed any contracts forbidding contact with the other cheftestants. We did not break any rules.

Now that that's out of the way, I'd like to offer my apologies to anyone who was offended or upset by my actions.

It is impossible to explain what life is like under these circumstances to anyone who has not experienced it. It may have been the pressure, the stress, or just the surreal-ness of living in a bubble for six weeks, but sometimes you don't act like yourself.

I am an honest, caring, and good person. My dearest friends and family know me for who I am. The public knows me as someone who cheats on his girlfriend. I'll have to live with that. I just hope that anyone out there who is easy to point the finger looks deeply inside themselves and can honestly say they haven't ever wronged someone. Or done something that they're ashamed of. Cast the first stone. Do I regret it? You bet. Did it throw off my game? Of course. Have I thought about it every day since? Yes. What can I do? Nothing.

When I returned home, I told my girlfriend - one of the sweetest women on earth - what happened. She was willing to forgive me. Our relationship was never the same. We are no longer together. So I have to live with my mistakes and try and grow as a person from it.

I am still very happy that I participated in Top Chef. It was an amazing experience that taught me a lot. I hope that it is my food and not my actions that are remembered once the show is over. I came to New York to cook. I made some great dishes and made some wonderful friends. At the end of the day, it is still all about the food.

Cliff O'Neill said...

Ah, David. Miss your 'cap, but I desperately need a week off myself, so we'll see if I give myself one next week.

As for HoLeah, I can't imagine what that's like being in that kind of a bubble, but I'd like to think that if there were cameras on me, I'd not take that particular opportunity to make such a life-changing error in view of the world.

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