Friday, May 22, 2009

"The Fashion's Slow"


I.Just.Can't.

Last week I spent about FIVE HOURS of my life writing a recap of The Fashion Show (after watching 2 hours of the show itself). The writing took me so long because I was trying to make the show sound more interesting, funny, and worthy of watching than it really is. Well YOU KNOW WHAT??? I just can't do that anymore.

I had such high hopes for "The FASHION NO" - I really did. But a successful reality show comes down to the contestants. You can have all the Tim Gunns and Isaac Mizrahis in the world, but if you've cast a bunch of dud competitors, your show will be a dud.


How in the hell do you cast a show that requires sewing skills with a bunch of fucktardians who cannot sew???? Seriously. That's like casting The Celebrity Apprentice with non-celebrities! Oh, wait... bad example.

I literally TURNED OFF MY TELEVISION LAST NIGHT while that asshat Markus flitted around the workroom talking about how they didn't teach him to SEW at his fancy fashion school. Sewing is for grandmothers and illegal immigrants, apparently.


I'm sorry folks - I tried. And I know some of you will be disappointed, but I.JUST.CAN'T. After all, it's hard to recap a show when you're screaming at a television that's been turned off. And YES, I know Markus was sent home - but I still ain't watching this mess anymore.


BTW - last night's show was all about coats - hence the "funny coat" pics (above) that I feverishly downloaded during commercial breaks. That is, until I had my Markus-induced COMPLETE NERVOUS BREAKDOWN.

25 comments:

Jojo said...

Totally with you. I keep trying... but for one - how do you get through fashion school without knowing how to sew?? Everyone I know who loves fashion and designs sews - that's all they do when their at home - their either fixing and changing old clothing or designing something new. It just really makes me wonder about these 'contestants'...

Did Bravo think that they were going to get Project Runway back and the Fashion Show was just a hastily made plan B??

mikeinbama said...

I was screaming at the TV last night. How is it that one one knows how to sew. It's ridiculous. These are the people who got rejected from Project Runway. The contestants are horrible and NO one can sew except Reco and few others. All these idiots want to be designers but can't do anything but draw on a piece of paper.

kayce. said...

i TOTALLY understand where you're coming from!!! i don't blame you for giving up the ghost on this show... i know that tim gunn had a strong hand in contestant selection on PR, as well as michael kors and former PR contestants themselves. the fashion show's ppl seem to have gotten chosen by the (new, not as shrewd) producers.

speaking of the shiteousness of the show: the contestants were all pissed at reco b/c he was walking around all cocky last night... but considering he's like one of maybe THREE that can draw a pattern AND sew that shit up AND have it look hot, the show should just "cut him his check now", LOL.

i will prob still watch intermittently ~ there's nada else on in that time slot ~ but not w/ much interest.

Dan said...

I stopped watching. I cant stand the designers.

the dogs' mother said...

We, Daughter and I, were wondering if the producers deliberately crafted the auditions to nab folks with poor sewing skills? They thought it might make for more drama and bitter, stand on the stage and die, rejections??
We'll still watch but with a gimlet eye.

Anonymous said...

I agree. I thought the show would be better. The contestants don't seem up to the challenge.

I remember an interview with the Top Chef producers. They had a horrible time casting the first season because the higher skilled chefs weren't trying out. Being on a contestant-reality show was looked down upon.

Now that the show is a legit vehical to success, chefs are turning out in droves. I wonder if this is what happened with the first round of contestants on The Fashion Show?

David Dust said...

Michael -

I can't see why that would be the case. Bravo is so well-known for Project Runway - and TFS was such a blatant rip-off of PR - that I can't imagine young, hungry designers would NOT audition.

I just think the idiots involved in the audition process were looking much more at "personalities" than they were talent.

Total FAIL.

C'est moi, c'est moi Lola said...

Well DD I'm not as pessimistic as you are - yet.

Is TFS a serious contender to PR? No. But there are certain designers that I think show promise (most are on 'Team Tiny' and Reco), but they are not getting a lot of air time because they just do not bring the kind of drama that the producers want. The producers are the same as 'Biggest Loser', and lord knows there's someone in tears every 5 minutes on that show.

I'm waiting for the show to separate the wheat from the chaff and then really have 'em bring it.

Sorry that you just can't find the time to blog about the show, but I'd rather have you blogging something you like than just going through the motions because you committed to it.

Take care, and have a great weekend David!

Joy said...

I understand completely. I kept thinking as I watched it last night that I don't see how you will be able to recap this mess. Isaac is great but has nothing to work with. I like what Norma Kamali said to that girl (she's not a woman) who took credit for that design. It was the highlight to me.

Who picked these contestants?

The team of "little people" and that woman who crafted the tweed coat and Reco are about it.

I'll still watch it, so just leave us a place to bitch about it on the comments. 'K?

Joy said...

Oh, btw, that cat in the raincoat looks just like my Brigit. I wonder what she would think to see that other cat all dressed up. I'm not sure what her reaction would be. Hey, Brigit! Come here and look at this!!

Anonymous said...

Like I posted here last week, the show is not worth the funny review you gave it last week. Not only are the contestants weak, but teaming them up every week inhibits the more creative few (very few) to display their abilities. And that speed round at the beginning of the show is useless. The show is a dud.

Nancy N. said...

"Fashion Show" is LAME. Took it off my DVR.

Mark in DE said...

I completely understand and AGREE with you. I told myself last night was the clincher. It better be worth watching or last night would be my last time, and I'm sure we all know where I stand now.

Suggestion: Go back to recapping Make Me a Supermodel for the remaining 4 or 5 episodes. At least it has some drama and interesting characters.

Anonymous said...

Agreed.

Yeah it is not a sewing competition but you should know at least the basics of execution as a designer so that the problems with construction won't overpower your design. You can have the best design but if you can't make it look good and you have bad hems and zippers and things like that, they take over and the design gets lost.

It's also not a "who can sketch the best design" competition either people! I am studying to become and architect and no matter how good my idea is, if I can't draw construction drawings properly it won't ever be built, or at least built well. They are called the basics for a reason!

Ugh, their whining makes me so annoyed. I don't think I will be tuning in regularly either, just now and then when I remember. Plus So You Think You Can Dance has started back up so I have my summer obsession back!!

Anonymous said...

Agreed.

Yeah it is not a sewing competition but you should know at least the basics of execution as a designer so that the problems with construction won't overpower your design. You can have the best design but if you can't make it look good and you have bad hems and zippers and things like that, they take over and the design gets lost.

It's also not a "who can sketch the best design" competition either people! I am studying to become and architect and no matter how good my idea is, if I can't draw construction drawings properly it won't ever be built, or at least built well. They are called the basics for a reason!

Ugh, their whining makes me so annoyed. I don't think I will be tuning in regularly either, just now and then when I remember. Plus So You Think You Can Dance has started back up so I have my summer obsession back!!

Unknown said...

As always, you are right, my friend. The show bites. The contestants are lame, and the tag-lines - 'I'm just not buying it - are just too stupid. If it wasn't for the slap-down of the whiny be-yatch, there would have been nothing. Put on a show about house-painters - and the 2nd half will be watching paint dry - and I think it would be more exciting.

Big Gay Ice Cream Man said...

I love that downy bacon-vest!!

Anonymous said...

I continue to hold out hope that it will improve.

Pollyanna

Anonymous said...

I am so with you on this. I fell asleep right after the HB challenge!! You are way too talented to recap this show.

JenM said...

Total FAIL! I watched this show tonight with guests in the room who wouldn't SHUT UP and I didn't tell them to STFU! Now if it was PR they all would have been ESCORTED from the room, physically. TFS sucks monkey butt!

Miss Ginger Grant said...

Don't be a hater-
okay, but don't hate the show, hate Markus and MexiJay. Really, they are the problem.
Markus is just some little rich shit who's daddy sent him to some design school in Europe to get his faggety ass out of the house, and Markus thought that would allow him to return to New York and lead a team of fashion designers at his own label. That's why at 33 he's competing on a TV show instead of designing his own label.
And MexiJay showed up wearing the clothes he slept in and the casting directors cried "the rumpled look is so IN!"
It was only AFTER MexiJay came down off his ecstacy enduced stupor that he realized they would expect him to sew!
And just because Reco knows how to thread the machine doesn't make him a talented designer.
On second thought, you're right- they are all a bunch of hot messes, and NOT in a good way!

Bob said...

I can sum up why I hate the shopw in two words.
Kelly Rowland.

theminx said...

Ummm...I don't blame ya. I'm feeling uninspired at best myself.

Love the cat raincoat pic. Beats several of the designs on TFS this week!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Kwana said...

David. It's okay hon. I understand. It's just not worth your time. If you can throw us a funny bone, Ha! Just made that one up. Then please do. But that show is a hot mess. I'll watch for Isaac and meh what else do I have to do. But really. The fall down drunk and sleep on the sidewalk coat?

The production quality is so poor it's a sad thing. You tried and I thank you.

What about those Hot mess NJ Gals?!

shirlnutkin said...

i'm a little late on posting a comment. i found myself just watching the "quickfire" and the outcome and seeing what snarky quotes would come up. i realized that rather than watch the whole show, i looked forward to posts by you and the minx ... 'cuz you all make it crazy fun! i'm not feeling it for the show. and as my friend jenm posted, tfs sucks monkey butt.
(looking forward to your recapping project runway, though!)
hugs~ shirlsd

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