Thursday, May 15, 2008

Top Chef Chicago - Episode Ten - "Police Academy 17 - Tossing Salad, Chicago Style"


On the last episode of Top Chef, Darling Nikki was sent packing for poor pasta, and Andrew managed to maintain his culinary boner even during a Crystal Meth binge.

It’s morning in Chicago, and our cheftestants are looking used up and worn out. Richard remarks that they stayed up for 40 hours during the “Wedding Wars” challenge, and now they are up once again. Dale and Spike are sleepily ignoring each other in the bathroom – things have been tense between them ever since Spike called Dale “a little bitch” at the last Judges’ Table.

But there is one cheftestant who is definitely NOT tired! Andrew says he woke up with a “fire inside his stomach” (is that a side effect of meth?) and is “still crazy!” In fact he says he’s SO crazy this morning that he’s either going to “stab someone” or “make some amazing food”! If I was a gambling man, I’d bet on the stabbing.

Andrew has been relatively quiet lately. Until last week and his “culinary boner”, I had almost forgotten about “Fucky McDouchebag’s” antics. But based on his recent behavior, Fucky is obviously dipping into his “Sea Salt” supply – which comes individually packaged in tiny gram-sized Ziploc baggies. I wonder if Ziploc is a member of the “Glad Family of Products”?


Quickfire:

Padma enters the Top Chef Kitchen with Chef Sam Talbot from Season Two. Antonia immediately remarks that Sam is “tall, dark, and handsome” AND he can cook. “Sign me up” she says – and I wonder if I can get my name on that list also. But before signing up, I have a few questions: Exactly how does this list work once I sign up? Will it be like Yankees playoff tickets – will wristbands be involved? Will I have to stand in line to get my turn? I definitely need more information…


Anywhoo, Padma explains that today’s Quickfire will be all about tossing salad. Not only simply tossing the salad – but tossing that salad in a “modern” and “sexy” way. I don’t know how you can MODERNIZE tossing salad – but there are definitely ways in which to do it in a sexy manner. They will have 45 minutes to toss salad – which is a LONG time. Most people get tired after about 5 minutes of tossing salad – so I’m looking forward to seeing how this goes. Is Sam going to be tossing salad as well? Is salad tossing included once I get my name on Sam’s list?

Spike remarks that HIS salad is going to make people scream “let’s have sex!”. Isn’t that the whole point of tossing salad in the first place?

Richard is ruminating over the word “salad”. It’s a “loose word” (speak for yourself, buddy!), so he might not ACTUALLY toss a salad, he may just do a “play on” tossing a salad. In my opinion, if you’re going to toss a salad you really just have to get in there and do it.

Lisa remarks that some people do not deserve to remain in the competition, and certain people “suck ass”. Don’t these people have an unfair advantage in this Quickfire challenge? When Lisa says the words “suck ass”, they show Dale preparing to toss some salad. Because we had absolutely NO clue who she was talking about.

Padma yells “utensils down – hand’s up”, and even puts HER hands in the air to show that she has removed them from Sam’s ass. Stephanie is upset because she didn’t finish tossing her salad before time was up. She likes to take her time and toss it right.

Sam and Padma walk around tasting salad. Sam no likee:

Richard – His “fresh and clean” salad wasn’t fresh and clean at all. And TRUST ME, you ALWAYS want that shit to be fresh and clean.

Stephanie – She must remember to budget her time wisely, and complete the salad toss in the time allotted.

Lisa – Her salad tasted like bananas.


Sam likee:

Antonia – Sam thought her salad was sexy. I’m sure the feeling was mutual.

Dale – Sam liked that “little bitch’s” Asian salad.

Spike – Sam LOVED the “well-balanced” flavor of Spike’s salad. No word as to whether or not it made Sam want to have sex, but SPIKE IS THE WINNER. Spike tosses one sexy salad – which Mark and Andrew can confirm.

Padma reminds Spike that although his ability to toss a mean salad won’t win him immunity, he will be rewarded. This is typically the case with talented salad-tossers. Rent a prison movie if you don’t believe me.


Elimination:

Sam and Padma bring in trays of greasy burgers, fries and onion rings – and I’m starting to get HONGRAY! Padma remarks that obesity and diabetes is a huge problem in the U.S., and Sam informs us that he is a diabetic and has trouble finding flavorful food which is low in carbs and sugar. And you just KNOW that Padma struggles with obesity every day. Poor dear.

This greasy fast food represents a typical lunch for the Cadets at the Chicago Police Academy. The Elimination challenge will be to create a nutritious, satisfying, and tasty gourmet boxed lunch using at least one item from each category:

Whole Grains
Lean Proteins
Fruits
Vegetables

Spike learns that his excellent salad-tossing skills have earned him 10 extra minutes of shopping, and he will get to select one item from each of the 4 food-groups above that NO ONE else will be able to use. Stephanie remarks that Spike is the absolute worst person to have this advantage because he will screw everyone else. Andrew vows to make some “fancy shit” that will make the judges say “wow” while making weird hand gestures and I start to wonder if we’ll be seeing this Tweaker on A & E's Intervention one day.

Everyone heads over to Whole Foods, and the cheftestants line up and watch Spike fuck them over. And Sneaky Spike is loving every minute of it, saying “now it’s time to piss everyone off” while smiling and waving at the cheftestants who don’t toss salad nearly as well as he does. Sore losers!

Spike decides to choose Chicken, Tomatoes, Bread, and Lettuce – the four most obvious ingredients one would use for a boxed lunch. Spike has realized there is no way he will win Top Chef with his cooking ability, so he’s going to have to continue being sneaky. “Nothing personal” he tells the others, adding “have fun!” with a sly smile. He’s acting like a TOTAL “Butt Munch” right now… What?? Too much?!? Sorry.

Andrew isn’t bothered by Spike’s choices at all. Andrew studied Nutrition for two years and while the others are wandering aimlessly around Whole Foods – HE is “like a dart, on point”. Of course, he’s also talking to the items on the shelves. “Hello Hot Sauce! How’s it going Marmalade?!?” At the checkout, he wants the others to “smell his success” and he’s starting to make Whitney, Britney and Lindsay look like recreational users.

The cheftestants return to the Top Chef Kitchen, where they’ll have two hours to prepare and pack up their meals.

Andrew has decided to do sushi, because when you want to feed a hungry police cadet after a tough day on the obstacle course – you immediately think of a tuna roll. And instead of rice, Tweaky McDouchbag has decided to grind up parsnips and pinenuts. Because that’s what the voices in his head told him to do.

Lisa is doing a shrimp stir-fry with lots of veggies and rice. Andrew, in a rare moment of clarity, informs Lisa that shrimp are very high in cholesterol, so she should use them sparingly. Lisa processes this information, then proceeds to UNDERCOOK the shrimp. Huh?!? The voices in HER head need to quit chatting about softball and Xena and start giving Lisa some better advice.

Chef Tom Colicchio comes in for his usual visit. He gags on Lisa’s hot sauce, questions Spike’s use of tomatoes, and tastes Stephanie’s meatball mushroom leek soup. Richard is in ass-kiss mode (as usual) and asks Tom: “Do you like burritos”? Tom, as usual, isn’t falling for the asskissery and answers “it depends”. Richard continues his attempt to bond with Tom, saying he’s nervous and doesn’t “want to go home over a boxed lunch”. Perhaps Richard should have tossed Tom a salad …

All of a sudden, LesbiLisa is in full “freaked out diesel dyke” mode – SCREAMING that someone “cranked” her burner! Andrew nervously looks up from his sushi because he thought she found his “Crank”, er, SEA SALT. Lisa is convinced that someone is trying to SABOTAGE her rice – but everyone dismisses it as Lisa trying to cover up a mistake. Please ignore the screaming lesbian at the stove with the bad attitude and dirty hair and continue cooking…



The cheftestants pack everything into Glad products and head over to the Police Academy. At the Academy cafeteria, they make labels with re-heating instructions for their lunches. The cops enter and begin to make their selections.

Antonia remarks that the cadets are nice – and she doesn’t have any outstanding parking tickets, so she’s not worried. Richard is asking EVERY SINGLE police officer the “question of the day” – “Do you like burritos”. He is kissing ass just like he would with Chef Tom, which leads me to believe that Richard DOES have outstanding parking tickets. Or maybe a restraining order.

Andrew is his typical drug-addled self – handing out his sushi while saying in that rapid-fire crackhead voice: “Please enjoy, my friend”, and not making eye contact. Drugs are bad…mmkay?!

Salad-tossing Spike is trying to be sneaky and only leaving two of his Chicken Salad lunches on his table at a time – saying “they’re going fast!”. Unfortunately for him, it doesn’t matter how many he gives away, all that matters is what the judges think. Even Lisa realizes his strategy is “pointless”. Excellent Salad Tosser?...Yes. Rocket Scientist?...No.

The judges: Tom, Padma, Sam Talbot, and Ted Allen enter the cafeteria. Apparently Gail and her boobies were not included in this episode. Gail + Sexy Sam + Salad Tossing = recipe for disaster. So the gay guy is here instead.

Stephanie’s “hearty” Meatball Soup goes over well, as does Antonia’s Curry Beef and Dale’s Lemongrass Bison Lettuce Wraps.

Sam approaches Richard, who asks “do you like burritos?” and I’m starting to hope that when Andrew starts stabbing, he aims for Richard’s voice box. Sam takes the burrito, and the judges likee.

Spike is losing his salad-tossing touch already – the judges no likee his Chicken Salad. Padma calls it “pedestrian”, and you just know she’s been waiting to use that word ever since she learned it. They are also unimpressed with Lisa’s dish, with Padma noting that her rice was “undercooked” – a word which Padma has known and used for a while.

Ted approaches Andrew to get one of his Salmon Rolls. Tweaky McCrackhead gives Ted some sushi, along with a 15 minute speech about nutrition and tooth decay. All without looking Ted in the eye or taking a breath.

Back at the table, Padma calls Andrew’s sushi “strange” and Ted comments that the “flavor is not great”. The Producers immediately hire some of the Police Cadets for additional security … just in case.

Service is over, and everyone is packing up to head back to the Not-So-Glad Storage Room. Everyone, that is, except Andrew – who is doing a weird Robot dance. Hey, when the voices say “dance”, he dances.

Commercial Break: Project Runway in July! YEEEAAAAHHHH!!!!! Does that mean they are filming now?!? I need to start stalking Parsons (it’s near my favorite Dollar Store) for Tim Gunn and Heidi sightings.

More Bravo Commercials: Shear Genius is returning! DO NOT EVEN ASK – I will NOT recap that mess because I DON’T do hair. I will also ignore the new season of Flipping Out because crazy people scare me.

Back in the Not-So-Glad Storage Room, the cheftestants are pointing out to Andrew that he didn’t use all 4 food groups – he didn’t have any grain. And just like the childish crackhead he is, reply’s “oh, really?” and mumbles something about not looking at the rule sheet. And the dog ate his homework.

Padma calls Dale and Stephanie to stand before the judges– they are the top two. Chef Tom liked the flavor and texture of the Dale’s Bison – to which Dale responds that he REALLY wanted to satisfy those cops. I’m sure I have a DVD somewhere about a Filipino guy who LIVES to satisfy cops … I wonder if Dale is in it?

Anywhoo, the Judges also really enjoyed Stephanie’s soup – but Dale is announced to be the winner. He receives a bottle of wine and a trip to Napa Valley. Dale notes that he’s won 5 of 20 challenges, but I think he needs to toss a better salad if he wants to get ahead in this business.

Dale informs Spike, Andrew, and Lisa that they need to head to the Judges Table and I am so happy one of these 3 idiots will be going home.

The three of them enter the room, and stand glaring at the judges with arms folded. Andrew, eyes blinking like he was in a sandstorm, can barely contain himself. He is one nervous tick away from that stabbing he mentioned earlier.


Padma begins by asking Andrew if he thought his sushi was “substantial enough” to feed Police Officers. Andrew proceeds to insanely lecture the judges about eating “fist-sized meals” every three hours – talking to them like they are complete idiots. Hey, Padma might not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but she’s a judge nonetheless. Andrew even questions whether or not “satisfying” was actually one of the requirements on the rule sheet. He is practically foaming at the mouth by now, ranting about how he made a dish that was nutritious, but Tom cuts him off by saying “How about making something GOOD”.

You would think that would have shut homeboy up. Oh no – the voices in his head are screaming for revenge. Andrew counters with: “Really? That’s funny – people came back for more!”. Tom: “They went back because it wasn’t enough”. Padma and Ted simultaneously push the “panic” buttons hidden under the judges table. Security is suited up and getting ready to BRING IT.

The judges decide to let Andrew and his insanity simmer for a minute, and move on to Spike. They call him out on his use of the four ingredients – 3 of which he basically used as a garnish. Spike smugly stands there and doesn’t deny his strategy was to screw his fellow cheftestants. Tom comments about his odd combination of olives and grapes, to which Spike snaps – “Salty and Sweet! What don’t you understand about salty and sweet?”. Oh Shit, Andrew’s voices are speaking to Spike now too!

Spike isn’t quitting either. He basically questions the judges taste – saying the “common people” thought it was “amazing”.

Tom: “It wasn’t”
Spike: “In your opinion”
Tom: “My opinion is the one that matters, bitch!”

Lisa, who has been standing quietly letting these two assholes dig their own graves, is asked “Why are you here”?

“I don’t know – you tell me!” she snaps. The voices are now speaking to all three of these losers. She tries the “it was SABOTAGE bitches!” excuse – but the judges don’t buy it.

After a little more back and forth, Padma asks if anyone has anything else to add. Because this particular judges table has been so uneventful and boring, you know.

The lesbian just can’t keep her damn mouth shut. She throws Andrew under the bus for not including a grain in his dish – which the judges were already aware of. Now we know who Andrew will be stabbing. Lisa even remarks that she needs to shut up for fear of being punched. When you intimidate a lesbian, you are one scary motha.

Andrew starts taking about “going against the grain” (get it?!?) and then said that he lost his rule sheet. The dog did indeed eat his homework. The three losers leave the Judge’s Table and return to the NSG Storage Room.

Andrew and the voices stare Lisa down with the crazy-eyes – freaking everyone out. Andrew starts babbling about giving Lisa advice about shrimp and she still threw him under the bus and why isn’t Julio answering his pager – I NEED MORE DRUGS!!!! I hope you’re fucking happy!!!!!!! Dale sits quietly grinning – appreciating the fact that someone else is yelling at Lisa for a change.

The judges call them back in, and tell Andrew to pack his knives (seriously, don’t let him touch his knives!!) and go. Andrew responds by saying “no security necessary” (DON’T BELIVE HIM – RUN!!!!!) and says he will bow out with “honor and respect”.

“If I may shake your hand?”, Crazy McTweakbag asks. The judges nod yes, and all I can think of is that crazy bastard has some kind of flesh-eating bacteria on his palms and this is how he will exact his revenge. Hey, if the voices tell him to smear Ebola on his hands, Andrew smears Ebola on his hands.

Andrew states that he harbors no ill will toward the others – but he will never speak to those stank bitches either. Except Spike – who he describes as his “boy” and “mad cool”. Even through addiction and insanity, love endures. Besides, Spike is an excellent tosser of the salad.


Next week – IT’S RESTAURANT WARS! Till then bitches!!!

32 comments:

*~~*Inger*~~* said...

Why is it that people who deserve to go (Spike & Lisa) are STILL HERE?! Though Andrew's "sushi" looked horrible, and even though I couldn't sample it, I'm sure it didn't taste any better. Good Judge's Table last night for sure!

Kwana said...

Oh so funny. I was cracking up so much the kids were wodndering what I was laughing at from the other room. Sadly, I could not explain the salad tossing!

David could your fav dollar store be Jacks? If it is you'll be staking Tim and Heidi and I'll be stalking you! Too funny!
Check out my photo from my encounter with Sam last year on my blog. Lucky me. www.kwanawrites.blogspot.com

That Lisa made me crazy this episode. She should be gone. UGH!

I can't wait for the new PR and You would be fab blogging Shear Genius. You know it.

Psychomom said...

I can't believe I was kind of sad to see Andrew McDouchebag go, he is so much more fun to laugh at then Salad tossing Spike. And it was more than appropriate that the elimination challenge involved the 'Popo', hey, he had warned them. Security!

And I too caught the smirky smile on Dale's face, that devious bastard.

And I'm sorry crazy people scare you, we really only want to hurt the voices, not actually the people.

And the people and the people, purple crayons, purple crayons. Oops, that was the little Sybil in me.

sfoofie said...

I love me some Sam Talbot. yummmmmmmm
(your recap was twitchingly great too!!!!)

The Twisted Gourmet said...

Funniest article on Top Chef.. i was rolling on my sides. That said I would love to see Padma and Gail as servers for next week's restaurant wars.

barrie said...

Is blogger broken? 'Cause this was like the best reviewcap evah! It suddenly occurred to me this afternoon that I forgot to watch Top Chef last night and that I couldn't read David's review until I had watched it. Fortunately for me, my dvr was on the job and I got to watch it earlier this evening. Did Dale refer to the NSG storage room as "the stew room"??

Timmy said...

Once again, a great recap.

I was actually hoping that in a surprise twist, all three would be eliminated.

Polgarra said...

Awesome recap. I can't believe how awful they all behaved at the judging table. It was like they couldn't stop themselves from talking.

Oh and I think we should vote on wheither or not you recap Shear Genius. I thought it was a law that if the Dust Bunnies request you, that you must recap it?

mistress maddie said...

Tossing salad??? Is this going to be clean to read?

Mary Ceille Allen said...

Loved it as always! Lisa must go soon or I will call sabotage on everyone! Tivo Mom

mikeinbama said...

Once again, great recap!!!!!!!!!!

I hate that BITCH Lisa. Has that bitch put seasoning on anything this entire fucking season. She needs to be drop kicked. I kind of liked tweeked out Andrew. He was a wildcard, and scary people are always good to watch.

Sam looked tasty. I would definitely toss that salad.

Stephanie, Richard, Antonia are going to be the final three.

SailorAlphaCentauri said...

I want to thank you for doing a recap that managed to calm me down from being pissed at Best Week Ever's blog for ragging on Andrew. They hadn't even mentioned the show until this morning, and now they're probably scared of me. Moving on...

Andrew didn't need LizBitch's help to get sent home, so now she just looks like the no-good person she is. If not following the rules should get a person sent home (Lisa's words), shouldn't she have been sent home for blatantly not following the rules of the improv challenge? What a bitch.

I came to like PsychoAndrew. I'm one of those really angry people who isn't a threat unless behind the wheel of a car, so I could kind of feel his rage when Lisa had to be the "I don't want to say anything, but I'm going to anyway" heifer that she is, and I give him points for calming down enough to not actually get up and hit her (I know I would have...but that's just me). He gets extra for freaking out Antonia (just because).

When will Lisa go? I don't know. But I'm looking forward to that show.

I'm with Team Crazy simply because Lisa deserved worse than what she got.

Howard said...

Stupendous as always. I thought the show was pretty dull, until, of course, we hit the judge's table with the 3 craziest and crankiest cheftestants! I would have been game for the triple elimination, but that would have been quick, and we wouldn't see the evil-eyes, or was that crack-eyes, of deranged Andrew. Speaking of eyes, at the end, when he told Lesbo-Lisa that he needed her to say nothing, 'but hopes that people see this,' I was fearful he was planning to destroy all evidence of the mass murder, and was planning to burn the video...

I think Sam Talbot is beautiful to look at, his lack of personality makes him a charismatic black hole, sucking all the charisma out of the room. And I thought he was sexier when his hair was longer and he wore the hair bands.

I did enjoy the fact that Tom C seemed to truly enjoy picking on the crazies at the judging table. And I found it oddly sexy.

Lastly, why did they give another win to Douchy? I mean, come on, does the definitive smug b*stard need more encouragement?

Again, fantastic job, and I look forward to the SIU&D recap!

Howard said...

I almost forgot, with Crack-drew gone, who is Spike gonna sleep with now? Richard won't go for it - he is saving his seed for baby-makin' when he gets home - and Dale, well, perhaps, but only because who would want to sleep with either of them?

Joy said...

Yes! They were horrible at the judges table. I couldn't believe their attitudes and what they said. I also couldn't believe the boxed meals they thought would be a good idea.

Fab recap - as usual! xoxoxoxox

Joy said...

Amuse-Biatch has a post about how this season has been mediocre and refers to an interview with Chef Tom. Too many team challenges and more!

StickyGooeyCreamyChewy said...

Another fabulous recap! I laughed so hard that my sides hurt. That Spike is so smarmy, he makes Ilan look good! I'm sure he'll be gone soon. He really pissed off the good karma gods last night!

TAMmommy said...

Amazing recap as awlays, and a wonderful picture of Sam! Oh how I miss season two!

I have to read your recaps every week, and it wouldn't be the same to watch Top CHef and not read what you say, that being said I totally think you should do Shear Genius! Oh, I am already laughing just thinking of what you could do with that one!

Thanks!
www.atammmommy.wordpress.com

barrie said...

Oh, forgot to mention. Sam is DEAD to me. He modified unique TWICE in this episode. Tsk tsk tsk.

Howard said...

Gooey & Sticky, hard to believe we have a couple of cheftestants that are worse than Ilan, and I never thought I would say that!

Beth said...

Thank Goodness he went home...now if we could just get rid of Lisa....can't stand her....UGH!!! I wish some WOULD sabatoge her....send her home!!!

Can you believe I actually stayed up and watched this week??! woohoo!!!

I cannot wait for July!!!! I know it better be fierce!!!

love you Tranny
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Mary said...

Andrew was a tweaker, but he was a nice tweaker. I'll miss him. I hope Lisa is next. She can't season her food, because she smokes. Her taste buds are probably dead. Hear that Wretched Ray?

It's funny Spike thought he was so ahead and ended up at the losers' circle!

Wow, Antonia's not gay. Who would have figured that?

Kyle/TheBookPolice said...

I gave you a shout-out in my recap (
as well as in an Urban Dictionary definition I just submitted), and you didn't disappoint. Good work!

Joy said...

LOL Barrie, you definitely qualify for the "Stuff White People Like" blog post about grammar! "Sam is dead to me because" - love it!

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com

Moana Lisa must go! Spikewipe must go! You don't think Pricky Dale will be in the final three?

So ready for PR! I'll watch Shear Genius,and we can discuss it here if you'll just make a window for it every week without recapping. You're clever and fab and can make a space. You need to have time to have a life.

Kathy aka the Minx said...

I was kinda sorry to see Andrew go because he was one of the more interesting characters on the show. And now Spike is one lonely dude....

David Dust said...

Sorry it's taking me so long to get back to you all.

Inger - Judges Table was a HOT MESS! And that's a good thing.

Kwana - You guessed it - Jack's is my FAVORITE. And Parsons is between the 40th St. location and the 32nd St. location - so I pass it often.

Pyschomom - For some reason you (and your imaginary crayons) don't scare me at all. Are you doing "crazy" wrong? Or are you just too damn adorable that I can't possibly be scared of you?!?

Sfoofie - Thanks darling.

Twisted Gourment - I have a feeling if Padma and Gail were the servers for ANY challenge, somebody would STILL be waiting for food.

Barrie - Yes, the "official" name for the NSG Storage room IS indeed the "stew room". Just add alcohol, and simmer...

Timmy - I was PRAYING for a multiple elimination ALSO. They were all action so evil that I really thought Tom & Co. were going to send them ALL home.

Polgarra - PLEASE don't make me recap a bunch of haircutting queens. Seriously, even I can only take so much gay drama...

Maddie - I KNEW you were going to say something about the Salad Tossing. Reminds me of our darling friend who's currently incarcarated... :)

TivoMom - I'm sure they have your picture posted at Bravo headquarters - in case you go into "sabotage!" mode.

Mikeinbama - You are not the only one who hates Lisa. I'm sure you and TivoMom could plan your Bravo sabotage together if she continues on.

Sailor - See Mike and Tivomom above for like-minded souls who can't stand Lisa. I mostly object to her hatred of shampoo.

Howard - Sam and his lack of personality demonstrates that pretty people don't even have to TRY and be interesting. It's just enough to have them stand there and look pretty. And I too liked him with longer hair.

Darling Joy - Yes, they were HORRIBLE at the judges table. And it was mostly directed AT THE JUDGES - not each other. That is until Lisa had to go and open her big mouth...

Sticky - Thank you dear. I'm glad you liked the recap. And I am looking forward to Sneaky Snake Spike going home.

Tammommy - Oh God - SOMEONE ELSE who wants me to recap Shear Genius!!!! Why do you torment me so?!?!? :)

TrannyBeth - There are A LOT of Dust Bunnies who would like to sabotage LesbiLisa. And you get extra points for staying up and watching Top Chef this week. And I CANNOT WAIT for July and Project Runway - but it will be a little sad because it'll be the LAST season on Bravo :(

Mary - Yes, Andrew definitely had some fans here (and elsewhere), but like I said - crazy people scare me. :)

Kyle - Thanks! I don't know if it's just me, but I couldn't get the Urban Dictionary link. What was it?

Kathy - Poor Spike. All his "dudes" are gone. At least he has his smarminess to keep him company.

barrie said...

The only thing better than reading your TC recap is reading the comments after :-)

Joy: I am opposed to the serial comma :-)

David Dust said...

Barrie - It's bad enough that Joy is a retired English teach - now I have a punctuation expert judging me silently from his keyboard.

Unfortunately, I really, and truly, love a good, solid, comma. It's a curse.

Kyle/TheBookPolice said...

David: Your word is..."blops."

David Dust said...

Kyle - Many "blops" to you! That is an excellent word - and should be used often!

Margo said...

LOL at your recap! Excellent job! I was so hoping that Lisa would be asked to go...

Meeg said...

Lisa has the worst attitude, and is it just me or are she and Spike in the bottom three like every single week?? I am so ready to see her go.

All three of the losers needed to learn how to shut up with their weak excuses and explanations that never succeed in swaying the judges at all.

And why in the world does Richard wear those pink crocs?

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