I had a LONG blog post written about how depressed I've been, and my resulting destructive behavior with food. And the fact that I am now heavier than I've ever been in my life. And my aching feet, self-loathing, blah, blah, blah...
But I'm not going to post it. The reason why I started writing that post in the first place was to tell everyone that I joined Weight Watchers today. For me, this is a big deal.
When I lost 90 pounds a few years ago, I did it by following the Atkins (low carb) diet. But Atkins is not working for me any more. The limited food choices are too restrictive for me now. And I've been crippled by the fact that if you 'cheat' on Atkins, you've pretty much screwed the pooch for the day. This means that if I had ONE onion ring I ended up thinking "Fuck it - I've already screwed up. Might as well enjoy it!". Then I'd eat a whole bowl of onion rings, followed my a bunch of other horrible crap. I know it's stupid, but it's my Crazy and at least I own it.
Anywhoo, I decided to try something else - so I joined the Weight Watchers online program. I am NOT a meeting person - there is no way I would go to a meeting and be weighed and discuss food. Maybe in the future, but not now. Again - this is MY Crazy. But the online option seemed perfect for me.
I have tried WW before. Actually, back in the day I got my hands on a coworker's books (point guide, etc) and I lost a little weight. But the logs and journals and trying to figure out point values and writing everything down eventually turned me off.
The online program, however, figures everything out for you. It helps you set goals, and has a huge database of point values for various foods. Even restaurant items have been figured out (LORD there are a lot points in a meal at Arby's!) You basically type in what you ate, and the computer tells you how many points you used and how many points you have left.
Weight Watchers is also the only weight loss plan that I've ever known people to lose weight and actually keep it off for years and years. So I'm giving it a shot. I'll keep you posted...
One last thing - at lunchtime I went out to find something to eat, and I was SO EXCITED to be able to buy a pear at the fruit stand. This was not something I could eat under Atkins. It was the best friggin' pear I've ever eaten.