Top Haircut Episode Five - Guest Blogger: MY MOM!

Okay people – here’s the deal. After Project Runway on Wednesday, I watched Shear Genius/Top Haircut (as always). At the very same time, some serious thunderstorms came through the city and kept freezing up my cable. Since I am DVR-less, I had to make do with what I saw, and I was going to either make shit up, or try to figure out what happened on-line in order to do my re-cap.

Out of the blue, my mother sends me an email the next day with her “thoughts” on Top Haircut. This was unsolicited (I hadn’t even talked to her about this), and Mama Bunny has never done this before. I SWEAR, her Mommy instinct must have told her I needed some help with my recap. Besides, I have to write up my interview with Matt Locke – and didn’t have much time for Top Haircut anyway.

So, I would like to present Mama Bunny’s thoughts on Top Haircut – Episode 5 - "Bitch Boys and Baldness". [My words appear in italics and brackets]:

Mama Bunny Says:

I'm currently watching last night's TH and I can hardly wait to hear what you have to say. A few random thoughts:

[Salontestants go to the beach for the Shortcut challenge, which is to cut some salty surfer-dude hair. Glenn, as the winner of the last challenge, makes is to the Allure EASEL of Fame because there are no walls at the beach. Why is Nekisa dressed like Mrs. Roper?]

Guest Judge Oscar Blandi is HILARIOUS! I love that he calls the surfer dudes "bitch boys". I also enjoyed it when he announced the styletestants had "turdy" minutes left.

The blond twins are reminiscent of long past fantasies but I call dibs on Willy. You know this thing I have about younger men.

[Nicole wins the Shortcut Challenge and does a victory cartwheel. SUCK IT Glenn and Charlie!]

[Elimination Challenge: Give women who are bald (from Alopecia) a new wig with a new style. René Fudd calls them “Weegs”]

Paulo weeps because these bald women are so BRAVE! I cringe because Paulo has a doohickey in his nose. I envision him blowing his nose and little pieces of tissue get caught in the doohickey.

Now Nicole is crying. And her client. This studio is just bursting at the seams with BRAVERY! Nicole is creating her own elfin style on her model -- I hope the model isn't required to use the sunrise/sunset eye shadow as well. They both seem a little pre-menstrual to me. In fact, it seems like an epidemic of PMS is raging through the studio. Should we notify the authorities at the Center for Disease Control?

[It’s time for the Hair Show, Bitches!]

Charlie: My client is 19 and a pharmacist. Don't you have to go to school to become a pharmacist? Can you do that by 19? [Mom: It’s called a “Drug Dealer” – and no, you don’t have to go to school for it]

Jaclyn Smith is a FREAK! I just want to slap those perfect cheeks. "Reminds me of my friend, Farah Fawcett." YIKES!!! Has she seen a photo of FF lately?

What the hell is a Kim Vo??? I bet he started wearing lipstick in pre-school. "I'd like an order of Kim Vo and steamed dumplings to go.

"Paulo and Nicole are the top two. More tears. Puh-leeeze!! [Paulo wins – even MORE tears. Puh-leeeze!!]

Nekisa's helmet hair. Obviously caused by the bloating that comes with the PMS epidemic. And Gail now cries because she lost. Awwww. Weepiness -- another symptom of PMS.

I'm glad we will still have Charlie to kick around.

XOXOXO

Mom

[Thanks Mom - you crack me up. XOXOXOXO]