Friday, July 25, 2008

Top Haircut Episode Five - Guest Blogger: MY MOM!

Okay people – here’s the deal. After Project Runway on Wednesday, I watched Shear Genius/Top Haircut (as always). At the very same time, some serious thunderstorms came through the city and kept freezing up my cable. Since I am DVR-less, I had to make do with what I saw, and I was going to either make shit up, or try to figure out what happened on-line in order to do my re-cap.

Out of the blue, my mother sends me an email the next day with her “thoughts” on Top Haircut. This was unsolicited (I hadn’t even talked to her about this), and Mama Bunny has never done this before. I SWEAR, her Mommy instinct must have told her I needed some help with my recap. Besides, I have to write up my interview with Matt Locke – and didn’t have much time for Top Haircut anyway.

So, I would like to present Mama Bunny’s thoughts on Top Haircut – Episode 5 - "Bitch Boys and Baldness". [My words appear in italics and brackets]:

Mama Bunny Says:

I'm currently watching last night's TH and I can hardly wait to hear what you have to say. A few random thoughts:

[Salontestants go to the beach for the Shortcut challenge, which is to cut some salty surfer-dude hair. Glenn, as the winner of the last challenge, makes is to the Allure EASEL of Fame because there are no walls at the beach. Why is Nekisa dressed like Mrs. Roper?]

Guest Judge Oscar Blandi is HILARIOUS! I love that he calls the surfer dudes "bitch boys". I also enjoyed it when he announced the styletestants had "turdy" minutes left.

The blond twins are reminiscent of long past fantasies but I call dibs on Willy. You know this thing I have about younger men.

[Nicole wins the Shortcut Challenge and does a victory cartwheel. SUCK IT Glenn and Charlie!]

[Elimination Challenge: Give women who are bald (from Alopecia) a new wig with a new style. René Fudd calls them “Weegs”]

Paulo weeps because these bald women are so BRAVE! I cringe because Paulo has a doohickey in his nose. I envision him blowing his nose and little pieces of tissue get caught in the doohickey.

Now Nicole is crying. And her client. This studio is just bursting at the seams with BRAVERY! Nicole is creating her own elfin style on her model -- I hope the model isn't required to use the sunrise/sunset eye shadow as well. They both seem a little pre-menstrual to me. In fact, it seems like an epidemic of PMS is raging through the studio. Should we notify the authorities at the Center for Disease Control?

[It’s time for the Hair Show, Bitches!]

Charlie: My client is 19 and a pharmacist. Don't you have to go to school to become a pharmacist? Can you do that by 19? [Mom: It’s called a “Drug Dealer” – and no, you don’t have to go to school for it]

Jaclyn Smith is a FREAK! I just want to slap those perfect cheeks. "Reminds me of my friend, Farah Fawcett." YIKES!!! Has she seen a photo of FF lately?

What the hell is a Kim Vo??? I bet he started wearing lipstick in pre-school. "I'd like an order of Kim Vo and steamed dumplings to go.

"Paulo and Nicole are the top two. More tears. Puh-leeeze!! [Paulo wins – even MORE tears. Puh-leeeze!!]

Nekisa's helmet hair. Obviously caused by the bloating that comes with the PMS epidemic. And Gail now cries because she lost. Awwww. Weepiness -- another symptom of PMS.

I'm glad we will still have Charlie to kick around.



[Thanks Mom - you crack me up. XOXOXOXO]


theminx said...

Yay Mama Bunny! You ROCK!

Zombie Mom said...

Wow, the genius-ness is genetic!!!

Dan said...

OMG! I do want to be your sister! I definately know where you get it from!

Joy said...

Love it! Yes, as you and Mama Bunny say - the turd doesn't fall too far from the bird! And yes, her Mommy instinct came through for you! That's how we roll.

I thought about several things she did, too, and laughed about "bitch boys" and wondered about the "pharmacist" and smirked about the Farrah Fawcett comment. I also have a thing for younger men, which is a relative term now. Or I used to when I had motivation but now they're just memories.

Beth said...

MAMA BUNNY!!!! NOW I see where you get it from.... Fantastic job Mama Bunny!!!!

and I wanna be your sister too!!! ;)

Mark in DE said...

You're mom's funny!

Mark :-)

Cuz_I'm_The_Mom said...

OMG! Nekisa DID dress like Mrs. Roper!

Is is me, or are Dee's eyes getting crazier and crazier by the episode?

Anonymous said...

Mama Bunny said...

I'm so honored that you shared my humble comments but, let there be no mistake, YOU are the writer of this family.

If you're not careful, your grandmother is going to want to get in on this act. OMG!

David Dust said...


You just scared the bejeezus outta me.


Renee said...

Great recap! Mama Bunny and David rock! You're both so funny.

Cliff O'Neill said...

Damn, if my Mom did this it would be all, "¡Aye, rayo nene! Que se yo de estas cosas? ¿Una competencia para pelucelos? Ay bendito, hijo. ¿Estas loco?"

Which translates to. You gotta be crazy if you think I'm doin this kinda thing.

Now I have to go dig out my old Bitch Boys records.

Howard said...

Wow, that was great! You go, Mama Bunny! I was laughing in all the right places!

Kitty said...

Awwwww, Hi Mom! You did a fantastic job! I look forward to future guest appearances from you.

Blockade Boy said...

"Mrs. Roper"... HAW! And so true!

I thought this episode was very instructive: specifically, how scruffy beards and shaggy eyebrows (which I love) were the only things keeping the Pretty Twins from looking like Mischa Barton.

a-nony-mouse said...

The apple does not fall far from
the tree. Great job, mom!!

Jen r. said...

I love your mom! Obviously we know where you get it from! Jen R

SailorAlphaCentauri said...

This was a great tag-team recap. Great job, Mama Bunny & David!

And about the "pharmacist," she's probably a pharmacy technician (i.e. pill-counter) because I know you have to go to school to become a pharmacist. I flunked Organic Chemistry twice trying to pursue a Doctor of Pharmacy degree (and ended up in English) to prove it.

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