Tuesday, February 17, 2009

RuPaul's Drag Race Episode Three - "Media Queens"

Did anyone watch RuPaul’s Drag Race last night? I was a little worried after last week’s sub-par episode that the show wasn’t going to live up to its promising start. Last night restored my faith.

This week’s challenge involved Oprah Winfrey. No – Oprah was NOT on the show - the girls were asked to channel their “inner Oprah” in a three-part challenge. Some of the girls freaked out about this – and we learn that Shannell was a former fatty who worships the ground that Oprah eats on. We also learned that hot Mami Nina comes from a “humble fam-ee-lee” and has never seen Oprah. I didn’t realize humility had anything to do with which cable package you selected.

Ru explains to the “squirrelfriends” that they will be required to do the following three things in front of the camera. First, they will read headlines and recreate Oprah’s work as an Anchorwoman. Secondly, they will pitch a product – like on Oprah’s “Favorite Things” episode. Lastly, they will interview two “surprise celebrity guests”.

RuPaul reminds the girls that Oprah Winfrey optimizes the standards of Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve, and Talent which they are striving for. I agree, when I think of Oprah, I think of C.U.N.T.

Poor Nina freaks out because of her language issues – but at least she has an excuse. Akashia, on the other hand, is just stupid and never bothered to learn how to read. Both do poorly during the Anchorwoman segment. Ongina and Bebe do great. Ongina even does a funny impression of Connie Chung, but not as funny as Bobby Lee’s skits on MAD TV.

I LOVED at the end when they were reading the teleprompter, and Nina actually closed the segment by saying “This is [your name], good night”. Bitch didn’t say “This is Nina Flowers, good night” – she said “This is Your Name, good night”. Actually, she said “Dis is Joor Nane, gud nye”…

The next segment was a promo/plug spot for a hair dryer and underwear (or “undawares” as Papi/Mami Jade said). Ongina, again, was hysterical – using the blow dryer to dry out her sweaty pits and other moist parts of her anatomy.

Finally, the girls must interview Tori Spelling and her husband – Dean Whatshisname. I happen to love Tori (although I never saw the Tori and Dean show), but I don’t share this opinion with everyone – especially Michael K. over at DListed. Michael describes Tori as a “Praying Mantis doing a bad Carol Channing imitation”. That shit cracks me up – even though it’s harsh.

Some of the girls were good, but some put the “Ho” in HORRIBLE. Stank Akashia wouldn’t even stand up when Tori and Dean entered – and then didn’t say goodbye when they left. Unless you consider bending over and sticking your ass in Dean’s face as a way of saying “See ya!”.

Shannell just kept talking and wouldn’t let Tori and Dean answer her rapid-fire questions. Rebecca just sat there and looked pretty and Jade didn’t seem to have any idea who they were. By the way - how in the hell did Nina Flowers knew who Tori was, but not Oprah??.

After the interviews, Ru, Tori and Dean come backstage – and the hunky “Pit Crew” (below) brought in the cocktails. Tori and Dean even took a little spin on the runway. Ru tells the divas that tomorrow for the runway challenge, the girls must wear their best drag – and then everyone gets to drinking.

The next day the runway show begins, as always, with RuPaul giving us her grand entrance. Work!!! RuPaul introduces the judges – including MAD TV’s Oprah impersonator Deborah Wilson.

It’s time for the show. Highlights included a weird, busty Medusa from Shannell. She was trying to look something like this…

But ended up looking like the Borg Queen from Star Trek

Bebe looks like she took her Lion King costume, her Chaka Khan costume, and her Diana-Ross-as-Grizabella-in-Cats costume and wore all three at the same time. The resulting outfit, surprisingly, was FIERCE.

Nina looked feminine, Rebecca needed to move her hips more, and Puerto Rican Jade was sporting a noticeable bulge instead of a tuck. Hey – the Papis can’t help it!

The judges deliberate. Bebe is announced to be the winner. After telling the others they are safe, it is down to Shannell and Akashia to Lip Synch For Their Lives. They will be performing the Whitney Houston classic – The Greatest Love of All.

In the middle of performing, Shannell’s headpiece/snakewig/Borgcrown falls off – but as any true drag queen would – she keeps going. Her rebound was the icing on the cake – and not surprisingly Shannell remains in the competition. And Akashia is asked to sashay … AWAY.

On next week’s episode – everybody cries!!! To watch this week's episode online - click HERE.

>P, b.


Howard said...

I watched, and it was far better than last week. But Akashia went home, which will always make for a better episode.

At this point, Bebe and Nina are running away with this for me, so the others can leave in whatever order they so please.

I am not exactly sure why the judge's are there, since they hardly say anything.

>P, b.

Berry Blog said...

I didn't see it, and i'm sure your rendition of it is far better. Loved your take on accents.
Kind of agree with Howard...since RuPaul makes the decisions that count.

mikeinbama said...

I swear this show gets better every week. It has so many uncomfortable moments I can't help but cringe.

Once again, I will watch next week. I'm loving this show. It's a Hot Mess.

Wonder Man said...

She did carry all of Africa and The Wiz too

chef_the_city said...

i had it on my mental to-do list, but didn't catch the show til you reminded me w/ posting your recap... i can't believe you didn't mention how akashia fell and spun... gurl, i hates that bitch, but that was a dee-vuh move if there ever was one. it was topped by shannell's save later, but still: very LOL.

i fall in <3 w/ ongina more and more everyday and your phonetic nina quotes were HILARIOUS! only one so familiar w/ newyorican could pull THAT off! ;)

Jennie said...

OH MY GAWD, I need to be watching this show. Why, oh why, must I be so poor as to not afford premium cable?

chef_the_city said...

@jennie girl it's free online... david includes a link at the end of all his posts. i don't get logo, either b/c it's in the digital package (*giggles* "package").

Amber LeMay said...

It's too bad that Victoria and Tammy weren't around to participate in this challenge.

And with all the crying previewed for next week, maybe it should be sponsored by ShamWow.

Joy said...

I teared up when Shannell recovered from her mishap with such aplomb! What a trooper!

I'm so glad Akashia sashayed on home. Santino does well on there. I thought about that, too, Amber, and wished Victoria and Tammie could have been on with their own outfits and all.

C'est moi, c'est moi Lola said...

Love the show but just one thing: MORE PIT CREW!

Anonymous said...

Ongina is just as cute as a button, and I love how supportive everyone is and how no one seems to have much of anything bad to say when they leave. I love this show.

Mark in DE said...

I like Shanell, but I totally think she staged that 'oops my headpiece fell off but I'm gonna carry on anyway' scene to prove to the judges that she's not as "perfect" as she usually presents. Who's with me on this? But I don't blame her one bit. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do to win.

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